Friday, August 3, 2007

Stoners light up the Congressional Softball League

The Congressional Softball League is a strange beast. The league itself springs to life in the summertime on the National Mall and is made up of people from Congressional offices, lobbying and consulting firms, non-profit organizations, and local businesses. It's well known for drawing psychotic staffers with a competetive edge, zombified IRS employees looking for a break, and even a few Congressmen from time to time.

People take it pretty seriously, I should know, since I was once a mercenary ringer for a Senate office team. The winner has DC bragging rights for a year. So that's why I'm especially glad this year The One Hitters (great name), a softball team sponsored by Students for Sensible Drug Policy and the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, took over the #1 ranking in the league on August 1st.

It's not every day that stoners excel at sports and stick it to jackass politicians in the process. Believe it or not, two years ago The One Hitters made news when the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy refused to play a game against them because of ideological reasons. I'm not sure why, since Bush did a lot drugs when he was younger.

Even better, the team is still talking shit to the Drug Czar.

“Everyone knows that ONDCP backed out because they were scared of losing to us on the field, much the same way they are afraid to debate us because their policies fail in the court of public opinion,” said center fielder David Guard. “We have an open challenge to the Drug Czar to play or debate anytime, anywhere.”

You tell 'em David. The Drug Czar is a huge pussy. And if The One Hitters need an extra bat I'm totally available. The team currently sports a 13-3 record, and I'll gladly be cheering them on. Right after I finish this bowl.

-WCK
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29 comments:

  1. Kevin HaywardAugust 2, 2007 at 9:24 PM

    Don't know how you came up with that, but nice find. Certainly something you're not going to find on the pages of ESPN.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kris KraneAugust 3, 2007 at 10:06 AM

    Thanks for the blog post! I'm the One Hitters captain. Figured you would be interested to know that the ONDCP again refused our challenge. I e-mailed our press release to Tom Riley, the official ONDCP spokesman, with a personal note:

    "Any chance the ONDCP is willing to reconsider playing the One Hitters in a friendly softball game? If you're scared of losing to a bunch of drug policy reformers, those fears are probably justified, but we promise to be gentle..."

    His response:

    "unsubscribe"

    Classic!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MarcoAugust 3, 2007 at 11:26 AM

    That is a fantastic find my friend

    ReplyDelete
  4. rwmontyAugust 3, 2007 at 12:17 PM

    If the One Hitters were to actually play/debate ONDCP, I wonder which match-up the ONDCP would rather win?

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 3, 2007 at 12:19 PM

    Actually, this was on ESPN. That is how I found it today.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 100% Injury RateAugust 3, 2007 at 2:07 PM

    This was on ESPN today? Seriously? We got this from the One Hitters Press Release. If anyone has ESPN's version i'd love to see it. Go One Hitters!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kris KraneAugust 3, 2007 at 4:30 PM

    The ESPN coverage was on Friday Bullets in the True Hoop blog:
    http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-27-13/Friday-Bullets.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. 100% Injury RateAugust 3, 2007 at 4:41 PM

    All I care about is did we beat ESPN. And we did by 12 hours. Suck it ESPN.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousAugust 3, 2007 at 5:24 PM

    hell, yeah go get'em guys,puff,puff,see its nice to see that the drug czar is a pussy...as a stoner i already knew...thanks for the story i'll be hitting the bong thinking of ya

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousAugust 4, 2007 at 3:59 PM

    Stoners are usually not good at sports?

    I guess you have never watched a NBA, NCAABB, NCAAFB, or NFL football game.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousAugust 5, 2007 at 10:40 AM

    One Hitters Press Coverage Awesome - Get One Hitters Apparel!

    I'm the One Hitters' center fielder -- we're having a great season!

    Drug War Chronicle orginally covered the One Hitters when the ONDCP's team refused to play us two years ago: "Sports: Drug Czar's Team Runs From Drug Reform 'One-Hitters,'" http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle-old/387/onehitters.shtml. We got coverage in Roll Call and Sports Illustrated back then.

    Fast forward two years and we're the #1 team in the league -- and, yes, the ONDCP still refuses to play [read "lose"] to us. So we put out this press release: "Drug War Foes are Kings of Capitol Hill Softball League," http://daregeneration.blogspot.com/2007/08/breaking-ssdp-better-than-con...

    The #1 blog on the Internet, Boing Boing, took notice in their “Short links snacktime” section, http://www.boingboing.net/2007/08/02/short_links_snacktim.html

    And so did ESPN in their Friday Bullets section, http://myespn.go.com/blogs/truehoop/0-27-13/Friday-Bullets.html

    Today, The Washington Post offers "Marijuana Lobbyists? They're Smokin' the Competition!," http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/05/AR200708...

    And the story is still evolving, so stay tuned. We've been told that Roll Call, a staple read by folks inside the beltway, will feature us tomorrow, and The Politico may report on our game on Tuesday.

    Don't forget -- we are offering One Hitters apparel...get yours today! See http://www.cafepress.com/onehitters.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousAugust 7, 2007 at 10:13 PM

    great post wck. add one more press clipping kris and david:
    http://www.campusprogress.org/page/community/post/zachmarks/CHjM

    ReplyDelete
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