Thursday, September 13, 2007

Salty D's Rant of the Week: Corporate Names on Stadiums

It's rant of the week time. As always it's decisive, uncompromising, and rude. Just like Max Power. And quite frankly, I'm in complete and total agreement with this week's rant.

Okay,

I am a salty bastard. I know this. But there is literally nothing that gets me saltier than the trend in the past decade of corporations' names on sports stadiums in the United States. Ever since the wonderfully named Candlestick Park in San Francisco first got "renamed" 3Com , the rash of these renamed parks has been driving me up the freakin' wall.

Listen, in my opinion, a sports stadium is like a boat. It gets one name when it is made and that's it... and everyone should know to do otherwise is just bad luck. How many Super Bowls did the Niners win while playing out of Candlestick? And how many did they win after Candlestick got "renamed"? They cursed themselves and god knows how many years it will take to redeem themselves.

Another thing, why the fuck do we let people tell us what to call these stadiums? Candlestick Park is Candlestick Park. I'm not calling it Monster or 3Com or whatever the fuck some lame-ass corporation with way too much marketing budget and not enough quality product tells me to call my home-towns stadium. Are you kidding me? I have NEVER referred to Candlestick as anything other than Candlestick and honestly, if anything, I have AVOIDED the companies that try to associate themelves with these stadiums.

At this point why not just rename sports teams? And while we're at it, fuck cities! Who needs them? You're from Oakland? Guess what, it's not the Oakland Arena any more, it's the Oracle Arena! Why not just start naming cities after corporation? San Francisco's a pretty cool city, I'll bet they could get at least $2 mill to rename it Oracle City!! Why not? As long as we convince all the newscasters and sportscaster to refer to it as Oracle City I'm sure everyone will eventially come around! And lord knows when someone thinks business solutions, they will think Oracle after that! Clearly this shit drives me nuts...

And fuck Monster.com too, guess what? If I ever need to hire someone, do you think forcing a stadium name down everyone's throat that grew up knowing a stadium by another name is going to use you? Fuck off. I'm going to Careerbuilder, bitches. They're easier to use anyway.

Personally, if all I ever did with my life is to stop this atrocity I would die with a huge freakin' smile on my face. Let's put it this way, I hate the Yankees and Red Sox as much as the next guy, but if you think they would EVER rename Yankee stadium or Fenway Park you're nuts. And guess who's going to win at least 4 of the next 6 World Series? Coincidence? I think not...

-Salty D

2 comments:

  1. Um, Monster Park is not named after Monster.com. It is named after Monster, the company that makes hi-quality audio/video cables. Just saying...

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