Some gross Christmas presents for you

A little while back, you may have heard that Mike Lowell's game used jock-strap got pulled off of eBay for being "adult-oriented material."

Well, there's more stuff available again.

Some dude named Phil Castinetti of a shop called SportsWorld in Saugus, MA has gotten his hands on a large collection of Red Sox All-Star underwear and he’s selling everything on eBay. And if you think that's gross, this is even worse. The rag of choice in Beantown, The Boston Herald, says that at the end of the season, the Sox throw stuff like this out and some enterprising dumpster-diving Fenway employees retrieved all of it. It's not pretty, but it pays the bills.

The bidding and selling of the items has been bizarre to say the least.

While Jason Varitek's spandex underwear went for $255, seldom used Matt Clement - who didn't make an appearance in 2007 - had his spandex underwear go for $430.

Equally strange is that Manny Ramirez's famous 'do rag has only gotten up to only $26 on bidding so far. And no one wants Manny's spandex underwear, which is stuck at $9.99.

Of course, people normally bid on items right before their time is set to expire, but I don't think anyone really wants Manny's stuff. I'm convinced he hasn't taken a shower in 3 years.

Papelbon's spandex is also available, in case you were wondering. And I know you weren't.

On the plus side though, at least this means Red Sox Nation's Christmas shopping will be done soon.

-WCK

You may have some money coming your way today

Now that the Red Sox have won the World Series, it's time for one furniture store to start shelling out a hell of a lot of cash.

Jordan's Furniture, which is based in New England and may have the most boring commercials in the region, ran a promotion back in March and April: buy any sofa, dining room table, bed or mattress, and if the Red Sox win the World Series, you'll be completely refunded. Uh oh.

Apparently there were just below 30,000 orders taken during the promotion, so a lot of people will be getting a lot of money back.

If each order was just $500 — a pretty conservative estimate — then Jordan's might end up giving away more than $15 million. But most people bought more than one item. Apparently one customer could get $40,000 back after they furnished their whole house.

Jordan's — like most companies that run such promotions — had taken out prize indemnification insurance, which covers the payouts. So regrettably they aren't going bankrupt. But estimates are that they spent at least $4.5 million on insurance, so at least there's that.

So just in case you weren't already pissed off enough at Red Sox Nation, now you've got this to add some fuel to the fire.

-WCK

Thursday "Keep it in perspective" links

All day long you're going to hear people saying "This World Series is over already." Pay no attention to them. Even though the Rockies were destroyed last night, the fact remains that this was one game. It doesn't matter if they lost 13-1 or 100-1. It's one damn game. Besides, this wasn't exactly a surprise. The Sox had one of the best modern postseason pitchers on the mound and were playing at home. And the Rockies insane run was going to end at some point anyway, we all knew that, and I'm sure they did too. For the Rockies, now's the time to make the move. They've got Schilling, Dice-K, and Lester coming up. Even if they go back to Colorado down 0-2, so what? The Sox will have to tinker with their lineup and they'll be throwing Dice-K and Lester out there. This series is far from over.

Also a tip of the cap to Bay Area product Troy Tulowitzki (Fremont High). The lone bright spot for the Rockies last night.

On to the links.

Ah yes, a look at forgotten players in the CFL. [Deuce of Davenport]

Who will beat 31 NFL teams first? Manning or Brady? Then when they're done, they should switch teams and play each other for the ultimate 32 team winner. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

The '72 Dolphins team ain't so pleased with the current squad. [Larry Brown Sports]

Who is the bigger loser? Cleveland or Buffalo. My vote's for Cleveland. They suck at everything. [Rumors and Rants]

Who should be the Yankees manager? [NOIS]

The evolution of Dirk's Nowitzki's hair. [The Pig Pen]

Proving that hooliganism is making strides in our country, a soccer mom goes WWE on a coach. [The Beautiful Game]

The Jub-Jub gets dropped in the third inning. [Home Run Derby]

The problems of fall wedding season and watching the NFL. See, this is why you should do everything you can to never, ever, be invited to weddings again. May I suggest taking a dump in the punch. [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

A dumbass Sox fan tries his hand at making fun of the Rockies by going hick-style, which seems odd because there aren't a lot of hicks in Colorado. Sort of like how it's odd there aren't a lot of sober, rational Sox fans. Wait, that isn't odd at all. [Red Sox Monster]

Everything's coming up Red Sox

Considering I'm not pulling for the Red Sox in the World Series at all, it pains me to write this post. But what can I do. The Nation is out in force doing comical and stupid things. And it's my job to bring you that news. The man you see above is Mr. Cedric Baar. He's actually a Yankees fan who lives in Rockland, Massachusetts. However, when his beloved Yankees lost in the ALDS, he decided to hitch his wagon to the Tribe in a bet to beat the Red Sox. Needless to say he lost the bet. Naturally, most people who lose a bet and have to wear a dress like to pay their price without a TV camera in their face. But Barr was unlucky, because it must have been a slow news day and Fox shoved a camera in his face to get a thrilling interview. And here's the worst thing. It's not like he was only subject to abuse on Tuesday. No sir. He also has to be out on the street in Rockland again from 5-6pm on Thursday and Friday. Sweet.

And in other Red Sox related news, 7 fans who allegedly threw bottles and rocks at police after Sunday's ALCS Game 7 were sentenced to each write a 5-page essay explaining what they have learned from their experience of being arrested. My guess would be run faster. But don't worry, this isn't as easy a sentence it seems like. I'm not sure any of them can write.

-WCK

Worst Name Ever

If we're all lucky, then the Red Sox's season will end tonight. But even if it ends here, there's still plenty of ways for The Nation to piss you off.

Since the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004, more and more families across the country are birthing their boys into Red Sox Nation with the name Boston. Man, imagine having to go through life with that name. Might as well just let the kid start teething on a bottle of whiskey.

In 2004, for the first time in a century, Boston appeared on the government's list of the 1,000 most popular names. Once less popular than Adolph (ok, I made that up), the name has made a comeback, rising to 626th place. According to the Social Security Administration, 856 boys named Boston were born in 2004, 2005, and 2006.

There are even a few celebrity fathers of Bostons, including Kurt Russell and some Survivor contestant named Shane Powers who I've never heard of and isn't really a celebrity.

And here's the worst thing. Experts predict there will only be more baby Bostons because the Sox aren't going away any time soon.

"What people name their kids is an expression of their personality and values," said Cleveland Evans, associate psychology professor at Bellevue University in Nebraska and former president of the American Name Society.

I guess being named Cleveland probably means your parents didn't like you, but still, it's better than being named after a city with an insufferable fan base.

Buena suerte Tribe.

-WCK

Terry Francona needs some help with physics

This floating ball must be a knuckleball because they're lighter.

Bill Simmons once wrote a column where he said that he thought baseball players were the dumbest of all professional athletes. I'd have to say I agree with him. And that's because when it comes to physics and baseball, most baseball players seem to harken back to the equivalent of the pre-Galileo days.

Here was an excellent nugget of infomation that Tim McCarver passed along to viewers after Casey Blake launched that mammoth home run off of Wakefield.

One thing Francona was telling us before the game is that a knuckleball is so light, that if you make crisp contact with it, it will fly.

Wow. The stupidity alarm is exploding right now. So Francona believes that the weight of a baseball somehow gets lighter if it's a knuckleball? While curve balls clearly gain weight. God, Francona's statement is so dumb it makes my head hurt. I guess Francona has more important things to worry about right now than gravity, considering Boston is down 3-1 in the series.

But my question is why do announcers let guys get away with shit like this? Sure McCarver's a former player, but shouldn't Buck step in and say, "That's ridiculous."

Did you know managers used to think you couldn't have a knuckleballer throw in a domed stadium because there was no wind? That's brutal, but true. And you constantly hear announcers who say "look at the late break on that ball." Curve balls don't break. Sliders don't break. No pitches break. If a pitcher could throw a ball that could travel 55 feet in a straight line, and then break a foot down into the dirt, no one would ever get a hit. Curve balls, sliders, splitters all do what they do because they're on a set path once they leave a pitcher's hand. It's an optical illusion that they break late or do something "magic." Let's take a look at the trajectory of a curve ball.

Anyone see a massive break at the end? Because I sure as hell don't. Selig should just force every baseball player to take a class in physics so we don't have to hear any more of these asinine comments by managers and announcers. Because seriously, I felt stupider after hearing Francona's thoughts on the knuckleball.

-WCK

But do you really want to be seen with Sen. Chris Dodd?

I've actually interned at the US Senate in the past. It's a interesting place to say the least. And if you're like me, then sometimes the only way you can tell if someone is important on the Hill is if they're surrounded by reporters or staff members. That's Sen. Chris Dodd in a nutshell. Until I worked on Capitol Hill, I never could have picked him out of a police lineup.

A few of you may also know that he's running for president in 2008. I hate to break it to many of you, but he's not going to win. But that hasn't stopped him from trying. He's now looking to bribe you for your support via Red Sox tickets.

Next Thursday at 5 P.M. Eastern, he's going to pick one entrant at random, live and online, to attend Game Six with him that Saturday. He's actually putting up two tickets so you can bring a guest, $600 towards airfare, and a hotel room in Boston.

But naturally there's a catch. You have to make a minimum contribution to his campaign of $20.04 (in honor of the last time the Red Sox won the World Series) to be in the drawing. Of course.

Something tells me that Dodd is going to be spending more money than he'll actually be making from this stunt.

By the way, if you want to know why I have such a strong distaste for politics, then this would be a great example. I'm sure you're wondering though, since Dodd has already jinxed the Red Sox into getting swept or losing in 5, what will the lucky winner get as a backup prize?

you and your guest are invited to spend a day on the Presidential campaign trail with Senator Dodd in Iowa or New Hampshire.

You know what, I'm going to hang on to my $20.04

-WCK

Papelbon: Lord of the Dance

I don't really know what to say about this video. But it's the Red Sox celebrating after winning the AL East. I really hope everyone was drunk.

-WCK

How To Kill Time During A Doubleheader

You have to wonder what these play-by-play and color analyst guys are doing in between games of a doubleheader. Well, we think Red Sox color guy Jerry Remy (a.k.a Rem-Dog - watch the video, you'll understand) just answered that question.

Now if only he can keep his feet.

Check out this video if you haven't seen it already. But it's worth the entire two minutes of it. The fun really begins around 1:01 mark. But who knew analysts could "rock out" so well?

Good thing the window behind him was closed, otherwise this may not have been so lighthearted of a post.

Maybe if he wasn't squinting so much, he would've seen where he was stepping.

-PB

Crap, Yanks show some life

The Yankees managed to get out of Boston taking two out of three. Even worse was the fact that Alex "I like she-males" Rodriguez got the game winning home run on an 0-2 pitch from Jonathan Papelbon.

Of course, Boston has nothing to worry about. They still have a 12.5 game lead over the Yankees and the teams don't meet again until August.

If I'm the Yankees though, I still wouldn't be real pleased with this weekend. Despite winning 2 of 3, the Yankees coughed up some big leads, highlighted by the Sox jumping all over Pettitte in the 5th on Sunday.

Also, the "Where is Roger?" chant by the Sox fans was definitely pretty hilarious after the Sox took a 5-4 lead in the 5th.

Since I'm a Yankees hater (I have no real allegiance to the Red Sox), I was hoping for a Red Sox sweep this weekend just for the fireworks. Had that happened, I think Old Steinbrenner would have woken up and we would have seen Torre fired and A-Rod shipped to Siberia where there are no she-males to be found.

It's a long season, there's still hope all those things can come true.

-WCK

It's always good when the Yanks get swept

The Red Sox did some historic work today as they tied a major league record with 4 consecutive home runs in a row. Dice-K got roughed up, but the Yankees pitching staff got abused. Even this early in the season, it's more than apparent that if the Yankees want to reach the postseason, they better get some pitching, and they better get it soon. I hear Roger Clemens is available.

Get Clemens on the phone now!

Usually when you hype something up too much, it winds up sucking something fierce. But sometimes, the hype is justified. Tonight it was definitely justified. The Red Sox managed to get past A-Rod's two-homer game by destroying the Yankees bullpen and Mariano Rivera. And what's this? Rivera is 1-2 this season with an 8.44 ERA and has blown saves in two straight appearances? This isn't going to continue, right? I'm not going to say the Yankees are in a lot of trouble right now, but, uh, they're in some trouble. With the exception of Andy Pettitte, the Yankees pitching is awful and if Rivera can't right the ship, this team isn't going to go very far in the postseason, if they even make it (which i think they will as a wild card). I realize it's only April, but I think the Yankees need to sign Clemens pretty soon.

Manny Ramirez and the New Yorker (or two things you rarely see in the same sentence)

Anyone who wants to get an insight into Manny Ramirez's mind should read this great piece by Ben McGrath of the New Yorker. Ramirez has been called a lot of things over the years, an idiot-savant, a loner, total flake, etc. This article at least goes into more depth than the axe to grind Boston media usually ever does. And despite Manny's strange nature and truly awful fielding (I'll never forget when he flipped over himself while running for a fly ball during the 2004 World Series), the man is argueably the best right-handed hitter of the last 25 years. I can't wait for his Hall of Fame induction ceremony that he probably won't attend.

-WCK