The Marlins are orgasmically bad

Some of you may remember that story Larry Brown Sports did last week on that Marlins series where they had only about 200 people at one game. Well, CNN did a quick story on it and, uh, someone at CNN was doing something in the background. Turn the volume up.

-WCK

Good lord, a player gets his own TV channel

The Global Icon must be pissed he wasn't the first athlete to do this.

Humorless Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard has just gotten his own cellphone TV channel through mobile operator Orange. The idea behind this travesty is to get more people watching TV on their cellphones, and also to create an astonishing increase in traffic accidents. Two excellent goals.

So what's going to be airing on this channel? Hopefully epic soccer games, hot soccer groupies, crazy fans, and barroom fisticuffs - all narrated by Lampard.

It will include Frank's own video diaries filmed in the last two seasons at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea's training ground and Frank's house. There's also guest interviews with his dad, his cousin, and a rugby player. Oh, and you'll get to see Frank's pets.

Well thank God I at least get to see his pets. But overall, I'm pretty disappointed. I was hoping to see Lampard make it rain on my cellphone TV. But I'm not so sure they even know what that is over in England.

-WCK

This show is definitely going to make it

I think we all know NBC has had some trouble since Seinfeld went off the air. I mean I never watch it, and that's all that really matters.

Well, hope is on the way and it should have all us sports buffs breathless with anticipation. And by "sports buffs" I mean "psychotic weekend fishermen."

A couple of weekend fishermen, on what I can only assume was a wicked bender, decided to try and create a TV show for NBC. It seems as though this thing has been in the works since 2000, which means these guys are either incredibly lazy or don't know when to take a hint. I'm going with the former judging by their awesome web site.

Anyway, the title of the show is Mens Fishing Weekend. Here are some of the great show ideas.

Episode 1: Intro: The first trip - How to hit cookies with a canoe paddle
Episode 2: Stealing Magazines
Episode 3: Finding the Trestle Bridge
Episode 4: The Day Fishing Died
Episode 5: The Finger Cutting Episode
Episode 6: Bob's Hostile takeover
Episode 7: [Celebrity guest appearance] A special Mens Fishing Weekend (Dave Barry's cut out joins us for a weekend - but gets kicked out after one day)

If you think that's can't miss television, here are some future episode ideas they're working on:

The Deer hunter
Aliens visit
We don't eat with Bob
Pete breaks his rod/Ken loses his
Charles Simulates sex and the Dildo award (to be shown on Cable only)
That last show idea sounds just a bit too gay for me, but the rest are definitely all winners. Anyway, the good news is the group is meeting just before the Super Bowl broadcast to continue "To approve all screenplays for the new TV show Mens Fishing Weekend."

Best of luck boys, I've already got the show penciled into my schedule.

By the way, if you're wondering what the show might actually look like, here's the best example. Nothing like a little fish tonguing to get the audience pumped up.


-WCK