Rugby players care not for endangered species

Man is this story ever bizarre. I don't know if you've ever heard of the quokka, but it's an endangered species or a "vulnerable" species in Australia, depending on whom you ask. Either way, it's an animal in trouble. A quokka basically looks like a mini-kangaroo and weighs about 10 pounds.

Anyway, the Australian rugby team Western Force, which plays in the well known international Super 14 rugby league, is in deep trouble for apparently "hammer-throwing" quokkas during a team bonding session last Friday that - surprise - involved heavy drinking. By the way, if you don't know what hammer-throwing is, take a look at the picture below.
According to Australian newspapers, one player reportedly picked up a quokka by the tail, spun it several times above his head and then let it go - on the fly.

Another incident included a player enacting a series of diving tries with a milk crate containing quokkas. No word on if he spiked the crate in celebration after his successful tries.

My guess would be the quokkas probably didn't enjoy these games too much - if they survived. I'm not sure what the American equivalent to these stunts would be, but I'm pretty sure repeatedly punting a bald eagle would be in the same ballpark.

There's currently an ongoing investigation to determine what exactly happened. I'm pulling for the quokkas.

-WCK

Further proof that golfers are complete wusses

Australian Robert Allenby has a problem. Drunk fans like heckling him. When you combine that with the fact that Australians are constantly drunk, then we've got a serious problem. And at this past weekend's Australian Masters, he got the business (my new favorite term) from a few sauced up guys.

So how did he respond? By, uh, refusing to play in future events. Yeah, that'll teach those obnoxious fans.

"If I have another experience like I did on Saturday, I don't think I'll be coming back."

The reason this is a big deal - I mean, it's not a big deal here, but I guess it is in Australia - is because of what the organizers of December’s Australian Open are planning. They want a carnival like atmosphere on the 11th hole which is not far from a bar.

Should be awesome.

Truthfully though, I've never understood why we can't heckle golfers. I guess golfing purists will tell you it messes with the player's concentration, but I'm not buying that. We have countless sports where heckling isn't just a distraction, it's a given.

Pro basketball and baseball players usually get the worst of it, since they're typically the closest to fans. And anyone who's going to tell me that it's much harder to hit a golf ball than it is to hit a 92-mph slider while some fat guy in row three is yelling about what he did to my mom last night - forget it.

Despite what you may think of Barry Bonds, I'm still amazed by his sheer concentration and ability to produce despite constant heckling. Nothing can get to that guy. But snap one photo of Tiger Woods during his backswing, and he has a damn hissy-fit and sics his caddy on you.

Besides, just think of how interesting a US Open final round would be with some guy riding Woods about how he missed his daughter's baptism to play in a charity golf tournament.

That'd get me watching. For like a minute or two.

-WCK

Rafer Alston had a productive weekend

If by productive you mean getting drunk and getting arrested. Which is probably what happened to you this weekend as well. Anyway, it's leaked out that Rafer "Skip to my Lou" Alston was arrested early Sunday morning on charges of assault and public intoxication. I guess that's better than a DUI, unless he beat the crap out of someone.

The Rockets, naturally, were ecstatic.

"We are aware of the situation and are attempting to get more details about the incident," Rockets general manager Daryl Morey said in a statement. "While we do not have all the facts yet, it is nevertheless very disappointing to have one of our players involved with any police activity. We will continue working with the authorities in order to get to the bottom of the situation."

Next to nothing is known right now about what exactly happened. All I can hope is that this forces the Rockets to actually go out and get a real point guard for T-Mac and Yao's sake. Having a point guard on your team who can dribble the ball off of someone's forehead is great for pickup games, but not so great for the actual season.

-WCK

This is new to me: Lesbian strip soccer

Here's a sport that seems to have flown under the radar for a while. It's lesbian strip soccer. And it comes to us courtesy of Canada.

It consists of an all-girls soccer game in which the players drink beer on the pitch, do body shots between halves, and kiss the referee after each game. [Wasn't that college?] Once a team is ahead by five points, every subsequent goal requires the leading players to take off an article of clothing.

"After you get close to five (goals behind) and you're getting beat, you want to see some naked girls. So you start letting them score," said one participant. That could either be really awesome or really horrible depending on who's on the leading team. Here's hoping Sarah Shahi shows up, I mean at least she played a lesbian on TV.

Apparently this event, known as Festival of the Babes, is taking place for the 17th year in a row during the Labor Day weekend in Canada.

And trust me, it ain't nearly as hot as it sounds.


-WCK

Start your weekend early

The crew over at Deuce of Davenport has a great new way for you to enjoy drinking. Assign athlete names to drinks.

Quite simply one of the best ideas I've heard in a long while. I'll take two Doc Goodens, three Troy Aikmans, an Eli and an Elijah Dukes.

It's gonna be one crazy night, dawg.

-WCK