The best quotes of Rampage Jackson

While roaming around the net today, I found this incredible list from the OC Register of Rampage Jackson quotes that were put up just before he cruhed Chuck Liddell back in September. They're simply incredible. I know the timing isn't great, but whatever. Rampage is like Yogi Berra and Gary Sheffield rolled together on steroids.

THE BEST QUOTES OF RAMPAGE JACKSON

On MMA:
"Well the weird thing about me is that I grew up fighting and one of my friends introduced me to it (MMA) and I was like, 'Whoa, you mean I can beat up white dudes and not go to jail?'"

Rampage and PRIDE announcer Mauro Ranallo calling a Kevin Randleman fight:
Ranallo: "There's a left by Jackson ... or make that Randleman, sorry"

Rampage: "Thats alright, all black folks look alike."

Interview with PRIDE announcer Stephen Quadros:
Quadros: "Rampage, where do you see yourself in 2 years?"

Rampage: "Well, right now I'm 23, so in two years, I see myself 25."

On his UFC debut against Marvin Eastman:
"I love Marvin, he's like a brother to me. But right now it's time for some black-on-black crime."

Interview before his rematch against Chuck Liddell:
Question: "Chuck said in his pre-fight interview it's gonna be a first round knockout. What do you have to say about that?"

Rampage: "If he plans on getting knocked out in the first round that's his business."

On who is his role model:
"Right now, Chuck Liddell is my role model. I really look up to him, mainly because he is taller then me."

On what impresses him about Chuck Liddell:
"His Mohawk. I'm impressed with how he keeps his Mohawk looking like that every time I see him. I'm really impressed with that. I wonder if he cuts it himself, if he has a barber or does he have a stencil thing he puts on his head so he doesn't mess it up? Chuck keeps that Mohawk looking like that all the time."

On his main concern about fighting Liddell:
"I don't want to kill him. It's a sport you know, I just hope he survives."

After beating Chuck Liddell for the UFC title:
"You can make a mistake and get caught in a submission, but Chuck made a mistake and he got caught in an ass whoopin'."

"I'm gonna put rims on my car, my scooter, my shoes and my everything."

"The drinks are on the house if you get somebody to buy you one."

On being the victor at the end of the fight:
"I like to see my hand raised at the end of the night. I like when the ref raises my hand. That's why I shave my armpits like the professionals wrestlers. I like to see my arm raised."

On the new UFC video game:
"I never get black eyes ... because I am black."

Joking about his friend Tito Ortiz having a large head:
"They made a Tito bobblehead but that (thing) wouldn’t bobble, it would just fall down to one side and stay there."

On getting into brawls:
"I want to avoid every punch you throw at me, but I'm not scared to get hit. But I'm not just going to let everybody hit me. What the hell's wrong with you?"

On his style of fighting:
"My style is 'whoop that ass.'"

On his taping of the "UFC All Access" show for Spike TV:
"All access was every where man, they even followed me in the bathroom, I give all access to a number two!"

On his rematch against PRIDE light-heavyweiht champion Wanderlei Silva:
"When I beat Wanderlei, I'm a take his belt, pull his pants down and spank him for bein so ugly."

Post-fight interview after Jackson fought Matt Lindland:
Stephen Quadros: "Was that like fighting an octopus?"

Rampage: "Man, that was like fighting a big ass smelly skunk. Matt you need to take a shower man."

During a post-fight interview:
"If I forgot a sponsor, then you aint paying me enough."

On PRIDE heavyweight champion Fedor Emelianenko:
"He's a baaaad man. He's a nice guy, though."

On his fight purses:
"Yo man, I need to get paid. I got a ton of kids. I have like a kid every 30 seconds. Wait, what time is it? Damn, there's another one. Told ya."

On his fighting philosophy:
"When someone tries to force themselves upon you, you have to impose yourself upon them. And doing so, you whooping they ass."

On fighting Ricardo Arona:
"I wanna fight him because I don't know him and he's in the video game, and I'm not."

On the MMA crowds in Japan:
"In Japan, the crowd is quiet, this one time I heard a cute girl fart in the second row."

Some random Rampage quotes:
"My momma said never trust a catfish with a mustache."

"I don't mean to make excuses for all my losses, but I can make excuses for all my losses."

"I ain't no one's punching bag. I go to the gym and see punching bags, and they black. But I ain't no one's punching bag."

-WCK

OJ gets axed from UFC fight

OJ's had a lot of trouble of late doing just about everything. And it seems just about no place wants him to be anywhere near their business. OJ not that long ago got thrown out of a steakhouse, which I guess makes a lot of sense considering no one wants him to have a knife in his hands.

But now he's also being denied access to UFC fights. According to multiple MMA web sites, OJ's entourage (he has an entourage?) asked for free tickets to UFC Fight Night at the Palms Casino in Vegas this past Wenesday.

And OJ got denied.

There's a question as to who actually denied him the tickets, the Palms or UFC, but either way that's awesome. The fact that OJ can't even get a ticket to what is the most violent mainstream sport going on right now just seems like poetic justice.

-WCK

WTF? Chuck Liddell was a kid actor?

This extremely brief video comes courtesy of Sports Rumblings, which somehow found out that UFC badass Chuck Liddell appeared in the 1981 movie The Postman Always Rings Twice, which had Jack Nicholson in it. The Iceman also appeared briefly in How High and Cradle 2 the Grave, two slightly worse movies, along with his notable appearance on Entourage.

If you want to see the Iceman's old high school work, you can find that over at Awful Announcing.

-WCK

Wanna get your ass kicked for $3,000?

Mixed martial arts is a pretty rough sport. You've gotta train hard for months on end and all that hard work can vanish in one quick bloody mess.

But you get paid reasonably well if you're appearing in big events and facing top-tier competition, right? Right?

Wrong. As it turns out, most MMA fighters - even those on the pay-per-view card - get paid practically nothing for fighting in what are incredibly lucrative events, even if they win.

Here's a breakdown of the recent payout totals from UFC 73, that occured this past weekend.

Let's start with the two Championship fights.

Middleweight Championship Bout
Anderson Silva (winner) - $90,000
Nathan Marquardt - $24,000

Lightweight Championship Bout
Sean Shrek (winner) - $28,000
Hermes Franca - $14,000

Aside from Silva, none of these guys are going to make it rain anytime soon. Let's move on to some of the other Main Card payouts.

Light Heavyweight Bout
Tito Ortiz (draw) - $210,000
Rashad Evans (draw) - $16,000 (are you @#$%^&! kidding me?!)

Heavyweight Bout
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (winner) - $200,000
Heath Herring - $70,000

Lightweight Bout
Kenny Florian (winner) - $16,000
Alvin Robinson - $3,000

Nothing like being on the main card and only pulling in $3,000 in prize money like Robinson. And man, if I'm Rashad Evans, I am one pissed off dude right now. I just managed a draw against a guy that made almost $200,000 more than me. I think I'll try and steal Ortiz's wallet on my way out the door.

Now let's look at the Preliminary Card of UFC 73 where you'll start to see some incredibly low prize totals.

Light Heavyweight Bout
Stephan Bonnar (winner) - $32,000
Mike Nickels - $5,000

Lightweight Bout
Frankie Edgar (winner) - $10,000
Mark Bocek - $3,000

Lightweight Bout
Jorge Gurgel (winner) - $14,000
Diego Saraiva -$3,000

Welterweight Bout
Chris Lytle (winner) - $20,000
Jason Gilliam - $3,000

I realize that certain matchups in the sport are more intriguing and produce higher payoffs for specific participants. But man, the UFC is cutting it pretty thin on a couple of bouts here, even though all these guys will probably make some extra cash with sponsorship money. It seems pretty clear that it's better to be an undercard boxer than a top-flight UFC fighter, even though boxing is supposedly in trouble. And it's not like the UFC isn't making money. UFC 73 pulled in more than $1.5 million in gate receipts alone and the main card fights were also on pay-per-view. UFC doesn't release pay-per-view profits, but judging by past UFC events, a conservative estimate would be in the $10 million range.

Considering these guys aren't exactly fighting every week, and the UFC has been known to release fighters who make monetary demands, this sport sure puts a huge premium on winning.

Also, if you need an extra 3 Grand, I'm sure the UFC would be glad to have your body as a donation.

[Thanks to MMA Fighting for the payout totals]

-WCK

That was quick

UFC fights tend to be short, I mean title fights can only go a maximum of five rounds anyway. But this one was over in the blink of an eye.

Less than 2 minutes in, Rampage Jackson nailed the Iceman with a solid roundhouse right to the face. Lidell went down and Jackson went to town on Lidell's face. That was it. And let's be honest, this can't exactly have been what the UFC was hoping for. UFC president Dana White was billing this fight as something that would kill boxing forever.

So this actually brings up an interesting question. Although mixed martial arts has already basically gone mainstream, will short fights keep it from becoming everything it could be?

It's definitely a possibilty. Two of the undercard fights ended in the first round as well. Also a UFC title fight can only go a total of 25 minutes (5 rounds of 5 minutes) while a boxing title fight can go for 36 minutes (12 rounds of 3 minutes). The bonus of course with mixed martial arts events is that the undercard is usually huge. UFC events normally have nine fights total.

The problem though is that as tonight showed, the main event can be over really quickly. And that was probably the main reason you paid $40 to get it on pay-per-view or it was the reason you bought incredibly expensive seats at the event.

Essentially, anyone who watched ESPN tonight saw the main event for free. Now of course the same thing can happen in boxing, which has always annoyed people. But just from having watched UFC a fair amount, the fights tend to be over quickly.

That has its pluses and minuses of course. The intense nature of mixed martial arts fights is what people like about it and what I like about it. Boxing can often be slow and tiresome as fighters circle around each other throwing weak jabs at one another. But boxing tends to be longer and more involved. Of course we've also seen how boxing has had a serious decline in viewership over the past few years.

I guess it's basically a personal taste question, but I can't help feeling like there could be something that could extend UFC fights to a degree (particularly non-title fights, which only go 3 rounds of 5 minutes) while also keeping them at the intense pace people have come to love.

-WCK