Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Yao may be having second thoughts about marriage

This is a very recent photo of Yao and his future bride taken in Lin'an City in the Zhejiang province. According to what I've read, the Chinese frequently take wedding photos before the actual wedding. They aren't officially married yet, but it's coming soon.

Yao looks a bit tense in the photo and it looks like there's an imaginary ball and chain hanging from his neck. Maybe he's having second thoughts about walking the plank or maybe he's just mad. Either way, he ain't real psyched.

As you may remember, Yao is set to marry his longterm sweetheart Ye Li. Some people believe Yao could have done a bit better. The look on Yao's face says he may be thinking the same thing. I hope he invited Brady Quinn to make a fool of himself at the reception.


Michael Strahan is hemorrhaging cash

Michael Strahan has had a tough time lately. First he was called a deadbeat by a judge for only giving his ex-wife $3.7 million. Then his ex-wife said he was gay. Then the classy lady had a garage sale selling all of Mike's stuff and then sold their house.

Well, at least Strahan's ex-wife isn't emptying his pockets anymore. No, this time it's the Giants who are doing it.

Strahan, who says he's contemplating retirement but actually appears to be holding out for a new contract, is now being fined $14,288 a day for missing training camp. And it's retroactive to last Friday when camp started. That mean's as of today he owes the Giants $71,440. And the Giants are flying Simeon Rice - a potential replacement - in this afternoon.

I definitely feel for Strahan, who has gotten the rawest of raw deals of late. But seriously man, you're only making $4 million a year. Get into camp before you have no money left at all. The last thing any of us want to see is you working at a McDonald's in three years.


Shark week links Tuesday

As Shark Week continues, I'm honored to bring you this hilarious clip from the B-movie Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. It's pure comedy gold. Nothing like a shark the size of a mack truck eating rafts full of people.

And I'm sure you're dying to hear my take on the KG trade. I think it's great that Boston now has three all-star players, a point guard who can't shoot, and no bench. They'll win the East because the East stinks. Then they'll get utterly destroyed in the Finals. There's your analysis. And we'll be blessed with a few more years of McHale running the T-Wolves into the ground. I just saved you 3 hours of reading drawn out versions of this on other blogs.

Now on to the links.

Michael Vick probably wishes he had Greg Anderson as a friend. Because Vick's buddy sang like a canary on Monday. [SI]

People shelled out as much as $265 to see the LA Galaxy play in Frisco, Texas tonight against FC Dallas. Only one problem, Beckham ain't playing. Nor is he even with the team. Ouch. [The Pig Pen]

Since Pacman might be rasslin' soon, a look at who should join him. Yes Joey Porter, you made the list. [Pacman Jonesin']

The Cavs are suing TicketMaster. Go Cavs. [Lion in Oil]

Andy Roddick blames McNuggets for his recent early exit. I once had a friend who ate 40 McNuggets in an eating contest. He sure looked better on the court the next day than Andy did. [Rumors and Rants]

A look back at the 2007 drafts for every sports city. [Doberman on the Diamond]

Not sports-related but definitely worth your time. Japan has produced an interesting addition for use with your girl's iPod. A vibrating musical dildo. Yeah, you read that right. [Brahsome]

Bay Area sports stars get Simpsonized. Bonds is great, but Nick Swisher takes the cake. [Say Hey]

Landon Donovan wants out of LA. [Deuce of Davenport]

A look at the MLB trade deadline deals and potential deals. [Nyjer Please]

More of the most obscure sports movie countdown. Rad is featured with a clip. Rad! [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]


Ride the log

This is an out of left field post. What we've got here is video of the Onbashira Festival that is held once every six years in Nagano, Japan.

Why are we showing this to you? Because it's from Japan, and everything from Japan is awesome. It also may be the craziest "sport" I've seen in well, pretty much forever. Essentially, you get on a log with 30 other guys, hang on tight, and try not to get killed as the log barrels down a hill at 25 mph. Only residents of Suwa city in Nagano are allowed to ride the log, so don't worry, you can't do this.

This sport has a track record of horrific injuries and deaths, which is what happens when you try and ride a multi-ton log. Don't worry, everyone in the video from 2004 was ok. Maybe if we work hard we can bring this sport to America. Or maybe not.


Please remember that sports are really not that important

We've all gotten mad before when our team has lost, but I thought this kind of stuff was usually reserved for mentally imbalanced foreign soccer fans.

A Queens man is facing a life sentence after being charged with beating his mother to death with a barbell during a Mets loss.

From Reuters:

Michael Anthony, 25, was watching the New York Mets lose a game on Saturday from his home in the borough of Queens when he began furiously banging on the walls, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said in a statement on Monday.

His father Fred Fischman shouted at him to stop, but Anthony punched him in the face and threw him to the ground, according to the criminal charges.

When Anthony's mother, Maria Fischman, 61, tried to intervene, prosecutors said he stabbed her once in the head with a knife before chasing her into a bedroom where he struck her several times with the 20 pound (9 kilogram) barbell.

The game was a 6-5 loss to the Nationals in the second game of a doubleheader (the Mets won the first game). And despite the loss to the Nats, the Mets are still in first place.

Just a completely unnecessary tragedy.


Monday, July 30, 2007

Carlos Tevez is a heartbreaker

This is Carlos Tevez. He was involved in a rather dodgy transfer this past year in which he was transferred to West Ham of the Premier League to help them avoid relegation. And as you can see, he is generally regarded as the ugliest player in soccer. Huge neck scars, crooked teeth and a unibrow will do that to you. Deuce of Davenport has always said he looks like the Incredible Hulk, and I agree.

But anyway, for a period of time he was going out with this lovely Argentinean model, Natalia Fassi.
They broke up for reasons we'll get to later, but she apparently really wants him back.

Now I know what you're thinking. She just wants the money or to be seen with a soccer player again. I mean, that has to be the reason? Or maybe she's legally blind.

Turns out we were all wrong. Apparently Tevez is, uh, pretty good in the sack. He better be with a mug like that. Here's what Fassi said drove her to Tevez in the News of the World:

"Every time we made love it was so passionate we would forget what planet we were on."

Ok. But what about the fact that he looks like Frankenstein?

"He is no David Beckham. If you compared the two I definitely would take Beckham any time. But it was a relationship of love. I liked the way he looked at me."

Yes, I'm sure that's true. This must have been the look she loved (also known as Tevez's "Oh" face):

I mean seriously ladies, what's not to like about that? That crooked tooth is sexy.

The couple was known as Beauty and the Beast in Argentina during their six-month affair and they ultimately broke up because Tevez got his actual wife pregnant (this guy has a wife?!). So anyway, I think there's an important lesson here. And that lesson is if you're an ugly famous soccer player, you can still get tons of hot women. Or something like that.


We'll miss you Coach

Today is a sad day here in the Bay Area. The 49ers and football have lost one of the greatest - if not the greatest - coach in NFL history, Bill Walsh. Walsh was also a Bay Area product through and through. He was born in Fremont and attended "Speed City" - San Jose State University.

I was too young to witness The Catch, but I saw another version of it. My catch was Montana to Taylor in Super Bowl XXIII. Cincinnati has yet to recover.

As you all know, Walsh spawned a million prodigies like Mike Holmgren and Dennis Green. And he even coached Tony Dungy. He also left us with the West Coast offense, which has become an absolute staple of pro football. In fact, there doesn't seem to be any question in my mind that Walsh left the biggest imprint in football history.

If you don't believe that, then read The Blind Side by Michael Lewis. In it Lewis details the clash between Walsh and Parcells that changed football history. It also shows how Walsh could even make mediocre talents very good players.

I'm not going to say Montana stunk, but he owes a lot of his success to Walsh.

The 49ers and the Bay Area faithful pretty much owe everything to Walsh. Thanks again for all the great years, Coach. We'll miss you. God speed.


Shark Week links Monday

That's right, it's Shark Week. And according to the Discovery Channel, this is Shark Week's 20th year. Had no clue about that. In fact, I didn't even know the Discovery Channel existed in 1987 (did it?). You learn something new everyday.

Also, if sharks don't frighten you, this probably will. Pacman is apparently getting involved with wrestling. Should be fun. Glad to see he's got some work.

On to the links, and if you want to see the video of the above shark attack again, here you go.

The indomitable Charles Oakley speaks. And you will listen. [Deuce of Davenport]

Someone has found out who Alfonso Soriano's booty call is. [Out of Left Field]

Where's Bonds going to celebrate his HR record? Maybe Africa. [NOIS]

A BCS playoff would RUIN college football? I'm not sure I agree, but I'm more than willing to listen to the argument. [We Suck at Sports]

Deion is getting some flak from the NFL Network for his thoughts on dogfighting. [Awful Announcing]

Remember SMU's football team? They got the NCAA death penalty. They may finally be coming back to life this year. [The Pig Pen]

Some unanswered questions about that Eddy Curry robbery. [Epic Carnival]

Congrats to Iraq for their Asian Cup championship. And what's this? Iraq and the U.S. could now meet up in the 2009 Confederations Cup. Uh oh. [Just Call Me Juice]

What sports team would be Bart Simpson? [Our Book of Scrap]

Ichiro is my hero. And he has 1,500 hits now. [Babes Love Baseball]


Here comes The Rainmaker!

I really thought this was a joke the first time I heard it, but almost every wrestling site on the internet is reporting it, and even a major newspaper.

It's been confirmed (more or less) that Pacman Jones has signed with Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA) to become, well it's not known what yet, during his year off from football. Wrestling Edge says he already signed while The Tennessean says he's on the verge of signing. Either way, odds look pretty good he's going to do something with TNA.

Quite frankly, I'll have trouble believing this until I see him on television doing what I hope will be his signature move, "The Rainmaker." He'll pin opponents by throwing thousands of $1 bills on top of them.

The news is supposed to break nationally on Tuesday. And according to the Tennessean, he won't be wrestling, which is a shame. Whatever he does, it's also supposedly all right with the Titans. I guess they really could care less about what Pacman's up to these days.

And if Pacman ever steps into the ring and needs a tag team partner, he can always call on Chris Henry.

Sites saying Pacman is signing:
The Tennessean
Wrestling Edge


Poker and enraged bulls = a winning combination

I'd like to salute the men of genius who came up with this brilliant game. It pits rednecks against an enraged bull in a game of high stakes poker. He who gets up last from the poker table wins...and gets some brutal punishment. Everybody wins.

On a more serious note, I'm stunned anyone would subject themselves to this.

Tip o' the cap to The Draft General for unearthing this gem.


Sunday, July 29, 2007

Maybe Cuba should stop attending the Pan-Am Games

We all know Cuban athletes are famous for spending their entire careers honing their skills so they can compete on the world stage - and then as soon as they get there they immediately defect.

Well, the Pan-Am Games seem to have become the event of choice for Cuban defections. This year at the Pan-Am Games four Cubans defected.

And this year wasn't even that bad by historical standards. In 1999 defecting was nearly an event at the Games. 13 Cubans, including a journalist, defected by the time it was all over. In 2003, Cuba sent home athletes during the middle of the Games that they thought might defect. And 5 of Cuba's best baseball players weren't even allowed to attend the 2003 Games because they were considered likely to defect. Ironically, two of the players managed to defect to El Salvador only a few months later.

This year Castro, fearing a repeat of 1999, even ordered the men's volleyball team to be rushed back to the island before they could accept their bronze medals.

But significant damage was done. The country's star boxer Guillermo Rigondeaux "disappeared" while he was in Rio de Janeiro to take part in the 2007 Games.

The 2000 and 2004 bantamweight Olympic champion apparently defected along with fellow boxer Erislandy Lara over the weekend of the 21st and 22nd, media in Rio reported last week.

"We gave them permission to go out last night and they did not return," Maximiliano Gonzalez Diaz, president of Cuba's National Boxing Commission, told Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa in Rio. "It is very sad."

Why they let Rigondeaux go out for a night is beyond me, considering there were rumors Rigondeaux might defect before the Games began.

Handball player Rafael Da Costa Capote and gymnastics trainer Lazaro Lamelas had earlier abandoned the communist island's delegation. Capote and Lamelas said last week that they plan to request asylum in Brazil.

Rigondeaux's defection is a particularly strong blow for Cuban sport. Boxing is one of the country's showcase sports. And Rigondeaux, 26, was the biggest star of the Cuban delegation in Rio. He won 142 consecutive fights from 1999-2003, and was seen as the last great boxer of his generation.

With Rigondeaux's "disappearance," Cuba no longer has a reigning Olympic champion living on the island.

And to make matters worse, in December 2006, three other boxing stars - Yan Barthelemy, Yuriorkis Gamboa and Odlanier Solis - defected during a tournament in Caracas. They now box professionally in Germany.

This essentially means Cuba has no boxing team to send to Beijing in 2008, a sport in which they usually contend.

I'd don't think too many people are shedding tears for them.


Good thing he wasn't hanging off of a cliff

I don't rock climb. This is why.

It's also kinda related to this. As in people hurting themselves and winding up in water.


Sunday link squad

Aaron Rowand has a hilarious injury. [Fanhouse]

Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, Donnie Sadler. Uh, what? Donnie Sadler? [Babes Love Baseball]

What team is the equivalent of Homer Simpson? [Our Book of Scrap]

History was made in San Fran on Saturday night, but not by Bonds. [Rumors and Rants]

The Gooch seems to be a good fit for Philly. [We Should be GM's]

George Costanza appears to be working for the Yankees. [ShakedownSports]

Is anyone gonna want to play in Chicago for the Bulls? [Winning the Turnover Battle]


Saturday, July 28, 2007

A-Rod's road to becoming the Home Run King is harder than you think

In light of Barry Bonds's recent comments that A-Rod isn't as good as he is, more people than usual are starting to come out of the woodwork to take shots at Bonds. This is obviously because they aren't happy Bonds used steroids. Fair enough.

But the main taunt at Bonds is this: A-Rod is definitely going to pass your eventual home run record down the line anyway.

Really? When did this become set in stone? Because from where I'm sitting, the odds of this happening don't seem to be nearly as good as some people think. And there's data to back me up.

In 2006, Baseball Prospectus's PECOTA projection system, which uses comparisons to similar players throughout history, weighing factors such as statistics, age and major league service time, defensive position and body type, did a breakdown of what the all-time home run list would look like in 2020.

Guess who was at the top? Barry Bonds. Guess who had an estimated 678 home runs? That's right, Alex Rodriguez.

Now you're probably up in arms about this estimate. And I agree with you. Right now, it looks like A-Rod will play until he's at least 40. If he manages to stay healthy and hits on average a little more than 30 home runs a year - which is a lot when you stop and think about it, he'll probably pass Bonds (since there's a question of whether Bonds plays another year).

Ok, but what about the eventual decline with age, since we're assuming A-Rod won't turn to steroids like Bonds did and start hitting 73 homers at age 36.

Well, The James Lincoln Ray Sports Page just recently did that for us. Factoring in decline due to age and everything else, they projected A-Rod to hit 788 home runs by the time he turns 40. And remember, since A-Rod's birthday is in July, he'd likely hit a few more before the end of that season - if he's still playing. If A-Rod played until he was 41 or 42, he'd likely hit over 800 home runs.

That's great, but let's think about this rationally for a moment. Bonds wants to play another year to reach 3,000 hits. If he does play, and hits say 25 home runs, then Bonds will in all likelihood be very close to 800 home runs himself.

And as Baseball Prospectus's estimate showed us earlier, we probably need to take into account things like what positions Bonds and A-Rod play. Bonds played left field, A-Rod shortstop and third. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Bonds has played a position that has likely helped him extend his career while A-Rod has played positions that would shorten his career.

There's also the example of Ken Griffey Jr. Everyone thought he was going to challenge Hank's record. Instead he started falling to pieces at age 33. There's no gaurantee A-Rod won't have the same thing happen to him. By the way, Prospectus picked Griffey to end with 637 home runs, which seems to be a real good guess - and maybe even a bit optimistic.

The truth is that as players get older, their skills can often drop off dramatically in the blink of an eye. Bonds (and I would argue Clemens as well) managed to escape this by using performance enhancing drugs. They are literally the only two guys in baseball history to be better after turning 35 than when they were during the normal peak years of players (25-29; according to Bill James).

People seem to think A-Rod can keep up a high level of production like Bonds and Clemens did, but it simply won't happen if he decides not to use steroids. And if Bonds retires with close to 800 home runs, it's going to take an awful lot for A-Rod to surpass that.

There is some hope though for A-Rod. The one and only Hank Aaron had quite a productive conclusion to his career. And almost like Bonds, Aaron had his most prolific home run season at age 37 when he hit 49 home runs. But considering there has only been one man not on steroids who was that productive a power hitter that late in his career, the odds probably aren't in A-Rod's favor.

Another thing that could help A-Rod is if he decides to become a DH. But who knows right now if he'll do that. Bonds has actively made it a point to break Aaron's record as a fulltime player. A-Rod may choose to do the same thing. There's also no gaurantee A-Rod will even be the kind of hitter at 40 that a team would want as a DH.

A-Rod might do it, provided his body doesn't breakdown, but it just sure as hell won't be as easy as some people hope it will be.


French dogs continue to be retarded + Saturday Links

You may have seen TV video of yet another retarded French dog blindly wading into oncoming bikers. Interestingly, the guy that got clipped by the dog, Sandy Casar, came back to win the stage. That means so far in the Tour de France we have Dogs 1, Cyclists 1. Here's hoping there's a tiebreaker soon. Anyway, the latest video isn't up on YouTube yet, but you can see it here on Versus. Thanks Versus, you were finally good for something.

On to the links.

Michael Vick, you are officially up shit creek. One of your boys is about to squeal. [SI]

This is an interesting way to raise money for charity. [Our Book of Scrap]

Still some questions in regards to Pat Tillman's death. [Epic Carnival]

Our Philly friends were not pleased with what occured this week. And we can't blame them. [We Should be GM's]

Yo! Stallone Night is going on this Saturday in the minors. You're the disease, I'm the cure. [The Feed]

Padres have made some strange moves of late. [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Brian Billick drops the word I used in the Vick link on the radio. [Larry Brown Sports]

Some new fools have joined the fray at Sons. [Sons of Sam Malone]


The Dodgers are not very subtle

Tell me this isn't a direct shot at Barry Bonds.

On Aug. 2, the Los Angeles Dodgers are having a two-hour steroids awareness clinic - right before they play their final game of a series against the San Francisco Giants.

About 100 kids from area Little League teams are expected for a two-hour steroid awareness clinic to be held on the field during the afternoon.

Dodger outfielder Juan Pierre, hitting coach Bill Mueller and former Dodger Lou Johnson are to participate in the clinic.

I'm glad Pierre will be the player that talks to the kids, considering he still is one.

And if this is an underhanded dig at Bonds by the Dodgers, which I totally think it is, they better be aware that there's at least one player on their team who many people have suspicions about as well.


Friday, July 27, 2007

Baseball sure seems opposed to letting women ump in the majors

Some of you may remember Lion in Oil did a post a while back on the first female Cuban umpire to make the equivalent of Cuba's major leagues. I realize Cuba isn't exactly a very forward thinking country, but in terms of letting women ump baseball games, they're light years ahead of us.

As of right now, Ria Cortesio is the only female umpire in American pro baseball, and she's been doing it for nine years - primarily in class A and AA.

She umped a major league exhibition game at the start of this season, the first woman to do so in 20 years. She also umped the All-Star Futures game last year.

"Until I work a regular-season Major League baseball game, I haven't done anything," Cortesio said, "I don't want to be a pioneer. I just want to do my job."

The interesting fact is that there has never been a female umpire who made it to the majors. And the question is why? Certainly female umpires are a lot rarer than male umpires (there have only been 5 total in baseball's history including Cortesio), but it's not like they haven't existed at all.

In fact, Pam Postema, who ended her career in 1996, spent 13 years in the minors - seven of them in AAA.

Although often considered a prospect for major league umpiring, Postema never received the call until 1988, when Baseball Commissioner Bart Giamatti offered her a contract to officiate at the MLB level during spring training. Later that year, Giamatti also offered her a chance to umpire at the "Hall of Fame Game" between the New York Yankess and the Atlanta Braves.

Both opportunities looked promising, but Giamatti died soon thereafter in 1989, and Postema never again got the chance to umpire in the major leagues. In December of 1989, the Triple-A Alliance cancelled Postema's contract after 13 years of well-regarded experience in the minor leagues. She then filed a sex-discrimination lawsuit at the federal level, which was settled out of court.

In 1992, Postema published a book entitled You've Gotta Have Balls to Make It In This League.

Judging by Postema's experience, Cortesio has a mountain to climb despite her nine years of experience. Cortesio has yet to even ump at the AAA level.

So what's the conclusion? I think it's pretty simple. Baseball would prefer not see women umps in the majors.

But let's hope Cortesio can bust through.


Even prisoners are going after Michael Vick

This one is pretty interesting. Michael Vick is in even more legal trouble. We've posted the whole thing over at Epic Carnival.


Your weekend sendoff

Our good buds at the Deuce threw up a great video today of a fat guy having trouble on a diving board, and quite frankly, it got us hooked. We can never get enough videos of fat people hurting themselves on diving boards, and we know you can't either. So here you go.



It's one quality day out there on the blogosphere. Everything from Vick's full indictment to a potential watershed day for steriods in baseball to fat guys on diving boards. If you're not here reading these links you better be dead or in jail, and if you're in jail...BREAK OUT!

Wanna read Vick's full indictment? Of course you do. Especially the part where one of Vick's buddies shoots a dog for not "testing" well. Oh boy. [Scribd]

A look at some athletes who were featured in movies and TV shows. Regrettably Jim Brown is not included. But thankfully, a mullet rocking Bob Golic (Mike's brother) is. [The Bench Warmer]

Today could be a huge day for finding out who did steroids in MLB [Lion in Oil]

Juice sits down and has a chat with Darren Rovell. [Just Call Me Juice]

A 12-step program for helping washed up ballplayers realize they need to retire. [Babes Love Baseball]

Catching up with the dude who has the longest name in MLB. [The Extrapolator]

What's playing on Joey Harrington's iPod? Is there a song titled "I Suck at Playing Quarterback", because that should be on his iPod. [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Fat guy and a diving board. Always a great combination. [Deuce of Davenport]

Some weird statistical stuff in regards to A-Rod's race to 500 home runs. He may have actually already hit 500. [The Feed]

Jay Leno had a joke last night that since all the major American sports are having huge scandals, maybe people will turn to soccer. Maybe they will. [Say Hey]

A look at Barry and Roger. Seems they both have grown a bit over the years. [Winning the Turnover Battle]

A Jack Cust update for you. [Rumors and Rants]

Donaghy's bookies were just wannabes apparently. [Larry Brown Sports]


The FCC has had enough of your shit

I'm not sure how many of you know this, but you can actually swear on live television if it's considered a "fleeting expletive" and not get fined. Lord knows announcing live isn't easy and it's possible for even the best people to accidentely drop a "shit" here or a "double penetration" there. I'm not sure Bert Blyleven's live double F-bomb drop from a year ago would count as fleeting, but you get the point. And this kind of thing happens a lot more than you'd think.

Well, the government has decided to step in and end the fun. For a while the FCC has been trying to get the right to fine broadcasters that accidentely swear. Standing in their way was a New York federal appeals court that found the commission's policy on fineable "fleeting expletives" to be arbitrary and capricious. So just make that swear look like an accident my friends and you're in the clear. But last week in Washington the U.S. Senate Commerce Committee took an active step to negate the appeals court ruling when they passed a bill that would allow the FCC to fine broadcasters for slip of the tongue expletives. And the House is now on board as well.

What a shame. Half the reason I watch pro sports is because they're as live as TV gets. My dream is witnessing Joe Buck spurt out a hailstorm of expletives on live TV as Randy Moss takes a dump on the field after a touchdown to win the Super Bowl.

But if this bill passes, every sporting event broadcast could go on tape-delay in order for the stations to avoid paying out the ass should Bert Blyleven drop another crowd pleasing F-bomb.

And that's just fucking wrong.


Thursday, July 26, 2007

A reason not to shank a golf ball

I don't play golf at all, for multiple reasons, but this may be the single best reason.


Troy Hudson's rap career goes THUD

You may or may not remember that Troy Hudson, also known as T-Hud (or Thud as I like to call him), had his official CD release party last week in Minneapolis. And you may also remember, according to the Fanhouse, that T-Hud was spending a bit too much time rapping and not enough time balling.

We decided it's time to check in on T-Hud and see how his first week of sales went.

Might want to get back in the gym Thud, I mean T-Hud. His album, Undrafted, was ranked #116,515 on Amazon, which puts him slightly ahead of Ron Artest's horrific My World album at #125,309. And keep in mind, Artest's album has been out for 10 months, so you know it's not quite as popular as it once was. Not a good sign T-Hud. Also when you type him into Billboard's album charts, it doesn't even have a peak position for the album. Basically Billboard pretty much refuses to acknowledge it exits.

So what went wrong? You know, aside from everything. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he titled a song Pussy Whipped. Because nothing says gangsta like being pussy whipped.

Anyway, here's an old video of T-Hud doin' whatever it is he does. I like how instead of having a dogfight in the video, there's an underground Kimbo Slice style fight. That should at least keep PETA off his back.


Thursday links

No time for funny crap. Here ya go.

A clip of Barry Zito (supposedly) singing. It has to be Barry, the singing is horrible. [Say Hey]

Cade McNown gets the axe from the Playboy Mansion. [Nyjer Please]

We bloggers are some huge-ass hypocrites. But hey, I never link ESPN. Well, maybe. Just once, I swear. [Larry Brown Sports]

Priest Holmes, coming back. What does this mean for the Chiefs and LJ? [The Feed]

Lance Armstrong and John Edwards do some cycling. No word yet if Edwards was caught doping. [Lion in Oil]

What's the price of success to succeed in sports? [We Suck at Sports]


Like a chicken with its head cut off...

The boys at Deuce found this about 2 months ago, but I had to bring it back. This is a fight between Vince Pettway and Simon Brown that occured back in 1995. It's one of the more unique knockouts I've ever seen, considering what Brown continues doing after he gets knocked out.

To make it even better, Mike Tyson was commenting on this fight. Of course he was.


This show is definitely going to make it

I think we all know NBC has had some trouble since Seinfeld went off the air. I mean I never watch it, and that's all that really matters.

Well, hope is on the way and it should have all us sports buffs breathless with anticipation. And by "sports buffs" I mean "psychotic weekend fishermen."

A couple of weekend fishermen, on what I can only assume was a wicked bender, decided to try and create a TV show for NBC. It seems as though this thing has been in the works since 2000, which means these guys are either incredibly lazy or don't know when to take a hint. I'm going with the former judging by their awesome web site.

Anyway, the title of the show is Mens Fishing Weekend. Here are some of the great show ideas.

Episode 1: Intro: The first trip - How to hit cookies with a canoe paddle
Episode 2: Stealing Magazines
Episode 3: Finding the Trestle Bridge
Episode 4: The Day Fishing Died
Episode 5: The Finger Cutting Episode
Episode 6: Bob's Hostile takeover
Episode 7: [Celebrity guest appearance] A special Mens Fishing Weekend (Dave Barry's cut out joins us for a weekend - but gets kicked out after one day)

If you think that's can't miss television, here are some future episode ideas they're working on:

The Deer hunter
Aliens visit
We don't eat with Bob
Pete breaks his rod/Ken loses his
Charles Simulates sex and the Dildo award (to be shown on Cable only)

That last show idea sounds just a bit too gay for me, but the rest are definitely all winners. Anyway, the good news is the group is meeting just before the Super Bowl broadcast to continue "To approve all screenplays for the new TV show Mens Fishing Weekend."

Best of luck boys, I've already got the show penciled into my schedule.

By the way, if you're wondering what the show might actually look like, here's the best example. Nothing like a little fish tonguing to get the audience pumped up.


This is new to me: Lesbian strip soccer

Here's a sport that seems to have flown under the radar for a while. It's lesbian strip soccer. And it comes to us courtesy of Canada.

It consists of an all-girls soccer game in which the players drink beer on the pitch, do body shots between halves, and kiss the referee after each game. [Wasn't that college?] Once a team is ahead by five points, every subsequent goal requires the leading players to take off an article of clothing.

"After you get close to five (goals behind) and you're getting beat, you want to see some naked girls. So you start letting them score," said one participant. That could either be really awesome or really horrible depending on who's on the leading team. Here's hoping Sarah Shahi shows up, I mean at least she played a lesbian on TV.

Apparently this event, known as Festival of the Babes, is taking place for the 17th year in a row during the Labor Day weekend in Canada.

And trust me, it ain't nearly as hot as it sounds.


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Curt Schilling is being a jackass again

Apparently Curt Schilling has gotten bored with his blog or something. Because he's back making crazy statements about Bonds and McGwire again.

Schilling said on HBO's "Costas Now" that Bonds and McGwire's refusals to address accusations of steroids use are tantamount to admissions.

"If someone wrote that stuff about me and I didn't sue their (butt) off, am I not admitting that there's some legitimacy to it?" he said on HBO's "Costas Now."

"If I wrote a book about Bob Costas and in that book I wrote about Bob Costas' girlfriend being on the road, and Bob Costas giving that girlfriend card show money and I outlined your daily steroid regimen, I've got to believe your first line of defense is to sue my (butt) off," Schilling said.

"It goes to the Mark McGwire thing in Congress. I mean, I'm a huge Mark McGwire fan. But I just always thought it was very simple: If you did something and someone asks you if you did it and you didn't do it, you say no. Any other answer than no is some form of yes, isn't it?"

So wait a second Curt, why were you so reticent when you were testifying on Capitol Hill?

"When you're sitting in front of Congress and you're under oath, you'd better be damn sure if you're going to mention a name that you are 100 percent guaranteed sure somebody did something," he said during the HBO interview.

Yeah, that makes sense, you want to be sure you're 100% correct when you're testifying to Congress, but when you're on a TV show you might as well just swing for the fences.

Perhaps Curt is forgetting that he could be sued for making statements that suggest things he can't prove.

Look, I'm no fan of steriods, but let's let the higher-ups in baseball handle this, rather than jackass pitchers who are f*cking press whores.


The Ben Roethlisberger impersonator is back

So you may remember some guy named Brian Jackson pretended to be Ben Roethlisberger for a while back in 2005 to help pick up chicks. Anyway, it didn't work out so well and he was fined $300 and served 30 days in jail.

Well, he's back, and this time it's a bit more serious. Seems Jackson went around saying he was Pittsburgh tight end Jerame Tuman and bilked a woman out of $3,200.

Excellent. Maybe everyone in prison will believe you're a Pittsburgh Steeler. You better hope so.

Anyway, considering this is the second time this has happened (or third if you count the fact that Jackson also pretended to be Roethlisberger's backup Brian St. Pierre), maybe they better look into sending this guy to a place that doesn't have any football teams nearby. Like the Mojave Desert.


Sean May digs the iPhone and seedy strip malls

Here's something I never thought I'd see. A professional athlete standing in line at a seedy looking strip mall. But here's Sean May on iPhone Day in NC waiting with the other iPhone nerds for his chance to make Steve Jobs even richer.

I'm actually impressed May didn't pay someone to wait in line for him. This is probably his offseason workout plan to shed those extra pounds. Keep at it big fella.

Thanks to MurphyMac for grabbing the pics.


Looks like we still have a long way to go in this country

A slightly more serious post here. It seems that Ian Johnson, the player for Boise State who scored the game winning touchdown against Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, has been getting threats about his upcoming marriage to Chrissy Popadics (best last name ever). If you recall, he's black and she's white.

They're due to be married this Saturday in Boise and Johnson has reportedly received threatening letters, phone calls, and even personal threats from people who don't like their marriage plans.

I find it strange that something like this could happen in 2007, but then I remember that a lot of people in this world are absolute idiots.


Hump Day links

Not exactly the picture you were expecting. But that's because you have a dirty mind. Besides, we'll use any excuse to re-link our post on robot camel jockeys. On to the links.

Mottram tells you what 10 CDs he'd bring to a desert island. Pretty good list. [Brahsome] Plus Mr. Irrelevant is back, and it's new and improved.

Hey wait a second, turns out it's the Dolphins who are the most criminally prone team in the NFL. [Larry Brown Sports]

Forget "Who's Now." Say Hey is doing a look at sports figures through the eyes of Plato's Divine Comedy. Here's the background, and here's the first circles of sports hell. And yes, Carl Monday is involved.

How one ref can fix a game and go unnoticed. [Washington Post]

Is that minor league coach's death a wake-up call? [Epic Carnival]

What it's like to be a Lions fan. Brace yourselves. [Ghosts of Wayne Fontes]

Curtis Martin is going to retire. For real. [The Feed]

Hot golf wives/girlfriends. [Epic Carnival]

The greatest current mullet in the majors may be set to retire soon. [Lion in Oil]


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Best headline ever

This is the Northern Arizona University paper. And this is what happens when you let college students create headlines with no supervision. I like how the newspaper is "The Lumberjack." Lumberjackit indeed my friend.

Thanks to sugargiggle.


Just livin' the dream

Continuing with our girls beating the crap out of people theme today, here's one you'll like. Remember when your old PE teacher started hasslin' you? "Drop and give me 20 you pansy!" And you just wanted to bash his motherf*cking face in.

Well, this girl decided enough was enough and took matters into her own hands - and some hair.


Nothing like a good old fashioned Texas cheerleader fight

I never saw "Bring It On" or any of its subsequent follow-ups, but if I remember one thing from the 30-second TV trailer, it's that cheerleading is ultra competetive. And that the girls that do it are - how do I put this nicely - catty bitches. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Anyway, it seems on Monday that 33 cheerleaders from two different Texas high schools got into the catfight to end all catfights at Texas State University at the end of a 4-day cheerleading camp. Here's the Dallas Morning News's take on the beat down.
  • Squads from both Dallas Skyline and Midland high schools were staying in Blanco Hall and preparing to check out about 11:30 a.m. Monday, said Mark Hendricks, a university spokesman.

    The Skyline girls staying on the fifth floor began knocking on the doors of the Midland cheerleaders on the fourth floor, he said.

    Some of the Midland cheerleaders came into the hall. Shouting, pushing and shoving ensued before someone called police, Mr. Hendricks said.

    Eleven Midland girls and 22 Skyline girls were involved. No injuries were reported, he said.

No one got injured?! That's a shame.

As you can see from the map below, the Texas news was all over this huge story (except for getting scandalous photos). Judging by the forecast, Midland came in from the west and Skyline from the north, which resulted in the huge shitstorm at TSU.
Man, is there really nothing better to cover in Texas than this shit? You know, at least until football season starts.

Regrettably, as I said before, there are no pictures of this incident. However, this is why God gave you an imagination. Or if you're too lazy, here's a really crappy local news video.


Tuesday quick links

We won't be able to post for a bit this morning after these links. Just a bit of business to attend to. We'll be back by mid-afternoon West Coast time. If you want to kill some time waiting for more posts, play some Tecmo Super Bowl. It'll cure what ails ya.

If the Giants had won the World Series in 2002, would the fans give it back considering an awful lot of the players may have been on performance enhancing drugs? [Say Hey]

I like this new sport a lot. [Deuce of Davenport]

Starbury - man of the people. [The Feed]

How to save the Falcons. [Winning the Turnover Battle]

Some early results on the quest to find the greatest sports movie of all time. [Our Book of Scrap]

The Eskimo-Indian Olympics? Man, some of these events seem to be in poor taste. But they are hilarious, totally hilarious. [Larry Brown Sports]


Monday, July 23, 2007

Jeff Feagles may be our lone link to Tecmo Super Bowl this year

Tecmo Super Bowl. Maybe the greatest sports video game of all time and the game that made Bo Jackson and QB Eagles instant legends.

It was the first football video game to get an NFL team license, so it featured all 28 teams and rosters from the 1990 season - save for a few holdouts like QB Eagles. Tecmo Bowl only had 12 teams and didn't have the NFL's consent to use team names. After Jerry Rice retired, there were no more active players in the pros from Tecmo Bowl.

Well, with the NFL season approaching and training camps starting this week, we may now be on the verge of losing any remaining active players that originally appeared in Tecmo Super Bowl as well.

As of right now, from our research, there are only two players from Tecmo Super Bowl currently signed to teams. That's Jeff Feagles, who's in the last year of his contract with the Giants, and Junior Seau. It has been reported that Vinny Testaverde will resign with the Pats, but that has yet to officially happen.

The most likely player to get signed that played last season but isn't currently with a team is former Saints kicker John Carney. If some team is really desperate, maybe they'd sign Morten Andersen or Ricky Proehl who both played last season as well.

Anyway, we all know the real reason you're reading this post is that you want to play the game rather than do work.

And we're here to help you achieve that goal. So here's Tecmo Super Bowl in all its original glory.


Brady Quinn has an inflated sense of self-worth

Brady Quinn sure has been a popular subject of late in the blogging community, especially for his tendency to show up in odd locations and get photographed.

But here's a new one, and this time it's making the people of Cleveland not so pleased.

Quinn, who let's all remember has yet to throw a single pass in the NFL, spent his Saturday at a Cleveland area mall charging $75 for a signed picture of himself and up to $225 for other signed merchandise. Lining your already full pockets will always endear you to fans.

No word on what a picture signed by both Bret Michaels and Quinn was going for.

Fans were pissed because there were no advertisements that said they would need to pay for Quinn's autograph. Now obviously it's a bit absurd to think he wasn't going to be charging anything for his autograph, but $75 for a signed picture of himself?! I'm not even sure I'd pay $75 for a Joe Montana signed picture.

Still, Quinn may just be hitting the market now while demand is high. Somehow I have a feeling that in a year or two it may be a bit less expensive to get an autographed picture of Quinn.


Back in the flow of things links

We're pretty much back to normal this week after having been a little light on posts last week. Let's get to the links.

George W. Bush may be behind the push to indict Bonds. Wonder if Bush can f*ck this up as badly as he did Iraq. [Larry Brown Sports and The Fanhouse]

Apparently a Yankee cried after that beatdown they received from the Devil Rays on Friday. [The Feed]

Who's more out of control: the media or athletes? [We Suck at Sports]

Billy Beane is going to bring Moneyball to the MLS. [Lion in Oil]

Whatever happened to Mike Gallego? Wait, who? [Say Hey]


Guess who reffed a controversial NBA Playoff game

I've got to admit, the Suns/Spurs series this year made me madder than any series since the Kings lost to the Lakers in 7 in 2002 in the Western Conference Finals. And what's this? Tim Donaghy reffed that travesty of a Game 3 in Suns/Spurs series. You know, the one in which Simmons ripped the officiating crew a new one.

A brave soul out on the internet managed to get all the questionable calls from Game 3 up onto YouTube. Obviously Donaghy didn't make every bad call in that game, but he made his share.

Go ahead and take a look back. It's all there for you to see.

Dwyermaker and I still refuse to recognize the Spurs's championship for the 2007 season. And you know what, this video ain't got either of us changing our minds on that decision.


Sunday, July 22, 2007

NBA Ref Scandal vs. Michael Vick/NFL Scandals vs. Roids in the MLB...

After a couple weeks of everyone bitching about how there's been no good sports stories to write about, good lord! I mean this NBA Ref Scandal, and Michael Vick dogfighting indictment, not to mention Bonds getting to the point where he's about to break the most sacred record in American sports in the next week or so (bringing the Steroid controversy to the forfront), is just an unprecedented amount of sports-related news. This is like the 1919 Black Sox scandal, Mike Tyson rape indictment (back when boxing mattered - and hell no I didn't pay $50 bucks to watch Winky Wright and Bernard Hopkins fight), and Roger Maris's home run record asterisk in 1961... but this is all happening in the course of 10 days! Unreal...

Interestingly enough and contrary to a number of polls I've read, the NBA scandal is by far the least important of the three scandals. Here's why. The reason that Major League Baseball and the NFL have reached unprecedented levels of popularity over the past decade is largely based on the issues addressed by these scandals. The Sosa/McGwire home run chase and Bonds's and Clemens's performances over the past 10 years at advanced ages have been a major reason behind the resurgence of baseball after the destructive strike in the mid-90's. And guess what? All of that is potentially, if not almost definitely, directly related to illegal and unprecedented steroid use. Look at the statistics on players in the late 80's and early 90's. Players would be near the top of the league with 30-35 home runs! Can you even imagine that today?

And for football I don't think that people realize that this Michael Vick scandal and Pacman Jones suspension represents a lot more for the sport than people realize. What is unprecedented about the players in the NFL today is the amount of immoral and illegal behavior that is tolerated and even encouraged in middle school, high school, college, and into the pros than ever before. Yes, the NFL has always been a haven for the toughest and craziest of American athletes, but shoot-outs in strip-clubs and electrocuting innocent animals??? I mean this shit is insane and if you think that this isn't only the tip of the iceberg, you're crazy. I've said this before, but I can't wait until the Jose Canseco-esque autobiographies about this era in MLB and the NFL start coming out in about 10 years. If you think the stories about the '86 Mets doing blow in NYC and a roided up A's team in the late 80's is interesting, I can't wait to hear what comes out about what's happened in the last 5 years in sports.

The main problem is that these athletes today have been protected from the minute they showed the potential to throw a football 60 yards and run a 4.4 40. And even worse a lot of them have been encouraged to act this way. The crazier you are, the tougher you are and the farther you are willing to push things the better. I've had friends who played State Championship level football in high school in Texas in the 90's talk about doing roids and coaches essentially encouraging it (to the point they ended up dropping out of high school because of drug abuse); I went to a strong sports high school and saw a star running back who went on to play D-1 football slap the shit out of a girl in front of about 20 students and everyone laughed and no one said a thing. I had friends who played Division 1 football in college who were suspended for steroid abuse and buddies who were walk-ons being asked in detail about fights they'd been in as if it were their entry-pass to making the team. This is really, really sick and while there's little question that football is almost incomparable today to what is was 15-20 years ago in terms of the skill level, size, and speed of the players. But what's the cost?

While we are dealing with these deep-seeded societal issues in baseball and football, this NBA scandal appears at the outset, at least, to be a rogue referee who carefully and intentionally carried out a deliberate scheme on his own (meaning without other NBA players, refs, or administrators) and I suspect will be severely punished for it. This behavior has been common-place in sports for years. Boxing obviously is one example with a history of corruption and blatant violations of players shaving points in college football and even premiere soccer leagues in Europe have occurred quite recently as well. When sports and money are involved these are the risks that are run. This current NBA scandal doesn't reflect anything but a single person's weaknesses and greed. Not a huge deal. The second Lebron starts throwing dunks down next year and Wade comes back at full health this will all be forgotten. I mean people joke about the Ewing draft envelope being frozen or creased or god knows what else so that the Knicks amazingly ended up with THE NYC center for the decade. If that were true, that would be a WAY bigger scandal than one ref shaving a few points over the course of a few years without anyone noticing. Not to mention the fact that the baseball and football scandals truly involve deeper societal issues about the acceptance of cheating in our modern society, winning at all costs, and coddling high-performing individuals to unprecedented levels.


The Chinese have us pegged

I know you're already making your plans for the Beijing Olympics in 2008. And I also know you're thinking - damn, how in God's name am I going to get my Tec-9 and my anti-aircraft rocket-launcher over to China so I can squeeze off a few rounds during some down time?

Well, China has you covered. Not only will they be launching missiles into the air to prevent rain during the Olympics, but they'll also escort you out to the countryside for some target practice with the Chinese Army. Excellent.
  • Pay on the spot by the bullet or other projectile. Professional staff from China's army will assist you in having your weapon pointed at the right target. Please don't forget take your passport on hand for identification when you are going to attend the shooting activity. You might want to bring your own earplugs as well.
Oh yeah, you should totally bring earplugs. Nothing is worse than the ringing you get in your ears after pouring out a clip from an AK. But wait, did you say I can also fire off some rounds from an anti-aircraft rocket-launcher? Yes, yes I did.
  • The China North International Shooting Range offer a wide selection of both heavy and light weapons. If you are shy, you may use TT Olympia sports pistol. If you are used to it and want to relax yourself, you may try anti-aircraft rocket launcher!
I've got to be honest, I'm not shy. And nothing relaxes me more than shooting down a 747 in mid-flight. And just in case that doesn't float your boat, you can also fire off some mortars.

I don't know about you, but I'm calling my travel agent tomorrow.


Sunday keep the A's in the Bay links

I don't even know what to say, because this is random beyond belief. But we met a girl in Boston tonight who knows the guys that made this Ghost Ridin' video to keep the A's in Oaktown. It's 2 white dudes ghost ridin' a Volvo, and it's absolutely worth 3 minutes of your life. 1.1 million views can't be wrong.

Ghost Ride the whip everyone. And for God's sake, keep the A's in the Bay. Don't let 'em move to Fremont. As soon as MC Hammer (an Oakland native and Bay Area legend) moved to Fremont, he went downhill. And shit, don't let the 9ers move to Santa Clara either. On to the links.

Man, this is a tough one, who is worse, Tim Donaghy or Mike Vick? I think I'm actually leaning toward Donaghy, and I like dogs. [NOIS] All I know is Donaghy didn't ref Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals, which the refs clearly gave to LA over Sac-Town. So that means there are TWO refs who have debts to settle as far as I'm concerned. That's right, f*ck you LA, we still smell conspiracy in that Game 6. That championship is tainted.

Oh yeah, Scott Olsen of the Marlins got tasered recently. Nyjer Please runs down his greatest hits. Dude is nuts. Plus some interesting mug shots. [Nyjer Please]

Suns have been making some strange moves of late. But as far I'm concerned, Nash is still King. [Winning the Turnover Battle]

That's enough for now. Ghost Ride the Whip!


Saturday, July 21, 2007

I was pretty sure our team sucked

Vietnam's player of the year Phan Van Tai Em apparently doesn't think much of his national soccer team. Why else would he schedule his wedding on the same day as the quarter-final matchups of the Asian Cup?

That's right, Phan planned his wedding far in advance of the Asian Cup, and as luck would have it, Vietnam advanced to the knockout round of the Asian Cup for the first time in 47 years and the team's matchup with Iraq fell on the same day as his wedding.

So what did Phan do?

He left his team in the cold and went to his wedding. I think if you did this in Colombia you'd be shot on the spot.

"It's very disappointing that he has no confidence in his team, or he would not have arranged his wedding for the same day as the quarter-finals," head coach Alfred Reidl said.

Vietnam wound up losing to Iraq 2-0 on Saturday. Good for Iraq, I had no idea they had a soccer team.

As for Phan, me thinks this may upset his countrymen just a bit.


Saturday links

We were admittedly a little short on posts this week. We were all really busy, so you'll have to live with that excuse. Anyway, we're not going to bust our asses this weekend either. If we post anything, it'll most likely be for Epic Carnival. Then next week, starting Monday, we'll be back in force.

On to the links.

Tim Donaghy has pretty much confirmed what I always knew - that NBA conspiracy theories are 100% legit. [Epic Carnival]

I was absent most of Friday and missed this very good post by the righteous men of Nation of Islam. Did Pacman actually make a threat at the Minxx? Because it appears there is now some real disagreement about this. [NOIS]

Joe Morgan is a huge liar. [The Feed]

This what you get when you combine the NRA with golf. Unreal. [Deuce of Davenport]

And that's enough for now, I'm damn tired.


Last but certainly not least

We made the Blog Show again this week, and for yet another YouTube clip. This would now officially qualify us as lazy bloggers I believe. But hey, we got the YouTube Clip of the Week, and that counts for something.

Thanks to With Leather for originally posting the clip, and thanks to Jamie, Agent Steinz and The Dude for throwing it up on the Blog Show.


Friday, July 20, 2007

Friday Dogghouse links

First off, we can't confirm if the Gump4Heisman Snoop MP3 from yesterday is legit or not. It appears to be an incredible fake and even now some people are unsure. I'm pretty sure it's fake, despite what a few people are saying. Great impression though.

And with that I have nothing else to add. On to the links, which again are not plentiful because we're pressed for time. But they are good MFing links.

A look back at Culpepper's career. [Brahsome]

How to get a save in a 12-1 ballgame. [Larry Brown Sports]

Not sports-related, but seriously read this. [Deuce of Davenport]

And your story headline of the day from Sooze at Babes Love Baseball - "Jays Beat Wang, End Yanks' Run at 5." They beat it hard!

And you know what, it's too late, I have to go to bed. We'll have more later today, but we'll return at full strength next week.


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Les Miles should expect a cap in his ass any day now

Dammit: It appears the Snoop MP3 is an incredible fake. Although a fair number of people are still unsure. We're pretty confident it's fake. We salute Gump4Heisman for the work it took to get what is an incredible impersonation of Snoop.

Some of you may be familiar with Les Miles having recently gone on a bit of a tear about the lack of competition USC faces every year in the Pac-10.

"I would like nothing better than to play USC for the [national] title. I can tell you this, that they have a much easier road to travel. They're going to play real knockdown drag-outs with UCLA and Washington, Cal-Berkeley, Stanford -- some real juggernauts -- and they're going to end up, it would be my guess, in some position so if they win a game or two, that they'll end up in the title [game]."

Well, it seems Gump4Heisman did quite the impersonation of Snoop and called out Les Miles.

Here are some of what we presume are a fake Snoop's comments:

"Who the f*ck is Les Miles?"

"The SEC, we done played Arkansas last year Les, tore they ass up by 40 Les, they won your division last year, Les, bitch-ass motherfucker."

"Man, we're USC. We get Heismans like my crew gets pussy -- whenever we want to."

The fake Snoop continued to rip Miles and then started comparing Les's infamous timeout call when the clock was already stopped to running a ho.

The fake Snoop also tells Miles that it was Saban who made LSU what it is. Ouch.

Here's the link to hear the whole thing.

Great work by Gump4Heisman. Incredible imitation, if it is an imitation.


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