Don't stick your hand in there

This is some British cable access program taking a look at some cheeky bastards who have been taking dumps in the holes of a local golf course. That's a pleasant prize for the lucky golfer who dips his hand in to retrieve his ball.

See, this is why I don't play golf.

-WCK

A tuna melt sandwich, except with a squirrel instead of tuna

Salty D did a post last week wrecking fans of SEC football, and said he'd actually seen people stewing squirrels before games. I was skeptical, but Salty D came through for us. Watch this video he sent us of how to make a squirrel melt. I might have three or four of these this weekend.

-WCK

You can own a piece of Mike Tyson's poop

Mike Tyson shits gold. Too bad he doesn't get any of it.

I'm not sure who in their right mind would buy stuff like this, but if you want, you can now buy a tiny bit of Mike Tyson's shit.

There's a Los Angeles based company called Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids that actually hawks the, uh, remnants of celebrities and two well known sports figures.

For Mike Tyson, his fecal matter goes for $31, his skin cells for $12.75, and his bacteria for $6.75. The shit is a bargain, but the bacteria, totally overpriced. Just be careful folks:

• For fecal and urine specimens, you will receive 2.0-3.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in a hermetically-sealed transparent plastic cylinder (about the size of a film canister). The contents will be clearly visible through the cylinder. We do not recommend opening the cylinder after purchase, and we cannot be held liable for any injuries you sustain from engaging in this highly risky behavior.

Yes, I would certainly avoid opening the cylinder since Tyson is world famous for his smelly shits. But I guess if you're crazy enough to buy this stuff, you're probably crazy enough to open the cylinder. Former wrestler Mick Foley is the only other sports figure on the site. His fecal matter goes for a paltry $23.

Just so you know, Tyson doesn't get a dime for this. Well, I think he doesn't, but who knows, he's pretty desperate at this point.

Now I know what you're wondering. Is this legal? Let me have the web site answer that for you:

• Yes. Federal laws simply require that our samples not create an immediate threat of injury or disease propagation. Our fecal matter, urine, saliva, and sweat specimens are hermetically sealed in unbreakable plastic containers to prevent any unwanted personal injury. Bacteria and skin cells are sealed within heavy-duty glass microscope slides.

So anyway, enjoy browsing the site. There's even an interesting bit on whether the site will take vaginal fluid. Their answer: Possibly. Better watch your back Eli.

-WCK