Who in the hell invents stuff like this?

There are times when you see a TV commercial and you to say to yourself, "They're not seriously trying to sell that, are they?"

Well, yes, they are trying to sell a putter with a scantily clad fat chick on it. I'd have to think Augusta frowns on something like this, but who knows. I just hope John Daly uses one of these things at his next tournament.

-WCK

Further proof that golfers are complete wusses

Australian Robert Allenby has a problem. Drunk fans like heckling him. When you combine that with the fact that Australians are constantly drunk, then we've got a serious problem. And at this past weekend's Australian Masters, he got the business (my new favorite term) from a few sauced up guys.

So how did he respond? By, uh, refusing to play in future events. Yeah, that'll teach those obnoxious fans.

"If I have another experience like I did on Saturday, I don't think I'll be coming back."

The reason this is a big deal - I mean, it's not a big deal here, but I guess it is in Australia - is because of what the organizers of December’s Australian Open are planning. They want a carnival like atmosphere on the 11th hole which is not far from a bar.

Should be awesome.

Truthfully though, I've never understood why we can't heckle golfers. I guess golfing purists will tell you it messes with the player's concentration, but I'm not buying that. We have countless sports where heckling isn't just a distraction, it's a given.

Pro basketball and baseball players usually get the worst of it, since they're typically the closest to fans. And anyone who's going to tell me that it's much harder to hit a golf ball than it is to hit a 92-mph slider while some fat guy in row three is yelling about what he did to my mom last night - forget it.

Despite what you may think of Barry Bonds, I'm still amazed by his sheer concentration and ability to produce despite constant heckling. Nothing can get to that guy. But snap one photo of Tiger Woods during his backswing, and he has a damn hissy-fit and sics his caddy on you.

Besides, just think of how interesting a US Open final round would be with some guy riding Woods about how he missed his daughter's baptism to play in a charity golf tournament.

That'd get me watching. For like a minute or two.

-WCK

Don't stick your hand in there

This is some British cable access program taking a look at some cheeky bastards who have been taking dumps in the holes of a local golf course. That's a pleasant prize for the lucky golfer who dips his hand in to retrieve his ball.

See, this is why I don't play golf.

-WCK

Play golf and take a dump at the same time

Some inventions are seriously stupid. Yet others are so insanely stupid that they somehow become cool. I'm not sure where this one falls exactly, but it's certainly intriguing.

The object you see to your right is the Potty Putter and it's been around since 2001, supposedly. If that's true, then I guess at least a few people out there own it.

Here's the information about what comes in the box:

No longer will your spouse/partner not have an excuse to putter around the house, at least in the bathroom. The kit includes a putting green, 2 golf balls, a mini-putter, a hole with flag stick and a “Do Not Disturb” sign. Pre-order for an October 5 delivery from Latest Buy with a price of AU $29.95 (~$26.66.)

The Potty Putter of course brings new meaning to the term hole-in-one. By the way, I wonder if Tiger used the Potty Putter when he was taking a dump at the US Open.

According to the internet, which is always right and should never be questioned, there was a real infomercial for this thing back in the day featuring actors and actresses putting with their pants off, which I'm sure was the highlight of all their careers. Unfortunately, no version of the infomercial exists on the internet.

However, here's a video featuring the Potty Putter and some other weird sports inventions that involve relieving yourself - including a portable urinal. Excellent.



-WCK

Tiger takes major dumps

This was passed along to us by a friendly reader and maybe you don't want to see it, or maybe you do. I'm not sure what gets you off. But anyway, this is Tiger, mid-round, taking a dump at the US Open before teeing off. He of course later took a more figurative dump by losing to Angel Cabrera. This video may be the only proof we ever have that Woods is human.

What's great is that there's a crowd gathered around the toilet, and Woods has a security detail. You know you've made it when you can't even take a dump without intriguing people.

-WCK

Tiger Woods attempts to be funny

I still fully believe Tiger is a cyborg and totally incapable of comprehending the human emotion known as laughter, but he tries hard here and succeeds to a degree. He does a decent impression of Charles Barkley's hideous swing.

-WCK

Proof that Woody Austin suffers from brain damage

I really could care less about golf, and personally I think Tiger is a cyborg, but I'm doing this post anyway because I'm sure one or two of you golf WASPs will love this. Me, I'm a WIC. White Irish Catholic.

Anyway, remember what Woody Austin said after Tiger beat him at the PGA?

"It just happens that he scored better. You can't throw away that many opportunities when you are trying to win a big golf tournament. He took advantage; I didn't. Does that mean he played better than me or he's better than me? I don't agree with that."

I thought to myself, how could he say something that dumb? The proof is in this video from 1997 friends.

-WCK

See you in hell seagull

Don't blame me for this post. Blame Michael Vick. Thanks to him I'm now numb to animal cruelty.

-WCK

Looks like we have our first dirty golfer

I know a lot of people thought Gary Player was nuts when he said that that there was at least one pro golfer on performance enhancing drugs. It turns out Player may be more right than anyone gave him credit for.

But I seriously doubt Player thought it would be Italian golfer Alessandro Pissilli.

Pissilli, who plays on the Italian pro tour, tested positive for finasteride during the Omnium National Championship on June 29 after a test was requested by the Italian Golf Federation. Finasteride is used to treat hair loss but can also mask steroid use, and has been at the center of several recent doping cases. Pissilli is also a club pro at Poggio de Medici in Florence.

I've been unable to find a picture of him, so who knows if he actually needs help with the old dome. But he's only 29, so me thinks he's probably still got plenty of hair.

If things go bad, he could be suspended for up to 2 years.

-WCK

A reason not to shank a golf ball

I don't play golf at all, for multiple reasons, but this may be the single best reason.

-WCK

This would get me watching more golf

With the British Open about to start, we bring you this video of something I admittedly thought I would never EVER see done in real life.

How wrong I was.

Nice follow through drunk man.

-WCK

Tiger gets closer to the Golden Bear, but in a different way

Tiger came up frustratingly short again Sunday in a Major, losing to Angel Cabrera at the U.S. Open. Thus continues the rather bizarre inability of Tiger to win a Major in which he is not in the lead or tied for the lead entering the final round.

Even though Tiger didn't get any closer to Nicklaus on Sunday in terms of Majors won, he actually did get closer to Niklaus in another category. Second-place finishes in Majors.

Everyone knows that Nicklaus owns the record for most Majors in golf history with 18. But a lot fewer people know that he also finished second or tied-for-second in an astounding 19 Majors as well. With a few extra lucky bounces, it's conceivable Nicklaus could have won 22 or 23 Majors. If he had had Robert Horry's luck he might have won 30.

And get a load of these stats. During the 1970s alone, Nicklaus finished in the top 5 in 31 out of 40 Majors. He also made the top-10 in an astounding 73 Majors during his career. That's over 18 straight years of finishing in the top-10 in Majors. Woods hasn't even been on the Tour for 18 years. Woods also only has 26 top-10 finishes in Majors at this point in his career.

While it does seem inevitable that Woods will win 19 or more Majors at some point, it's hard to imagine he could possibly surpass Nicklaus in 2nd place finishes and top-10 finishes at Majors.

Tiger Woods may some day be the greatest golfer in terms of Majors won, but there's still a very legitimate argument to be made that Nicklaus was a superior golfer to Woods in terms of sheer consistency in Majors.

-WCK