Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Pacman is having a better year off than you'd think

I certainly had no idea what in God's name Pacman was going to do during his year off. He of course is working on some album, which is what every suspended athlete does. But remember his TNA appearance? We all laughed, thought it was hilariously stupid and moved on.

But maybe we should have paid more attention.

It's being reported by multiple sites that Pacman Jones was paid $25,000 for his one appearance on TNA and he'll get that same amount for all subsequent appearances. Considering he can't even wrestle, that's one hell of a haul for doing a few minutes of acting.

There's one other problem though, most wrestlers that appear on TNA earn $750 or less per appearance. Yikes. And there's been talk that TNA might actually have to cut wrestlers if Pacman dips into the funds again.

Considering some of the wrestlers were pissed that Jones got his own RV in addition to the $25,000 during his first TV appearance - and there's at least one other reason why wrestlers may hate him - maybe Pacman should just forget ever appearing on TNA ever again.

-WCK

Tuesday links

Man, this was one kick-ass weekend for idiot college football fans getting caught on tape. We of course brought you the shit-eating Ohio State fan (even though that technically didn't happen this weekend) and now our buds at the Deuce give you these two gems. An Arkansas fan deepthroating a dog - bad news, it's not a female. And rioting at Appalachian State.

On to more normal links now.

Steroid testing reaches high school. [Larry Brown Sports]

Products athletes should actually be hawking. [Sons of Sam Malone]

Appalachian State beat Michigan and made some $$$ in the process. [Epic Carnival]

No garlic eating in China before the Olympics. Of course, because garlic eaters will ruin the Olympics, just like they always do. [Lion in Oil]

Kanye West's new song entitled Barry Bonds. I'm a rap fan and a Bonds fan, and I don't like the song. [Say Hey]

A look at Jake Peavy's numbers so far this season (filthy) and his Cy Young competetion. [Rumors and Rants]

We all love gambling, so here are some actual real poker betting for you. [Crashburn Alley]

-WCK

Starving kids don't bother Kobe Bryant

Stories like this always remind me that pro athletes live and walk in a world much different from ours - at least until they inevitably go broke by age 40 from doing stuff exactly like this story.

Pic and story from TMZ:

Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, were at Friday night's grand opening of BLUSH Boutique Nightclub at the Wynn in Las Vegas, when he saw poker player Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari kick in for two bottles of $1,400 Cristal champagne. According to sources inside the club, Kobe wasn't about to be shown up by some puny little card player -- and kicked in for five bottles. Antonio, who's used to upping the ante, then switched his order to ten! Go big or go home!

Kobe ended the competition when he purchased an astounding 15 bottles -- and then left the club! Just to put Bryant's baller status into perspective -- Kobe's $21,000 bill still doesn't cover what NBA and gambling legend Charles Barkley drops on one hand of blackjack!

You have to love Kobe's competetive spirit, and the sheer audacity to do something this ridiculous. There's nothing quite like spending a teacher's yearly salary on something you'll never use. Good to see capitalism at work doing, uh, whatever it is capitalism does.

-WCK

Eating shit for Ohio State tickets


Ohio State definitely has some psychotic fans. I'm not sure when this video is from, but it's an idiot diving headfirst into a pool of shit to search for tickets to an Ohio State game that are buried somewhere at the bottom of the dark abyss - and don't worry, he gets a mouthful of the tasty stuff. Despite that minor complication, he takes just a bit too much joy in the spectacle, which confirms my belief that no one in their right mind should ever live in Ohio.

This is also reason #7,647 why the terrorists hate us.

-WCK

Monday, September 3, 2007

It really sucks being a Penn St. football player

You may remember back before the college football season began that a couple of Penn St. players got involved in some off-campus fisticuffs - and Joe Pa wasn't pleased. Starting safety Anthony Scirrotto and backup defensive tackle Chris Baker still face charges in the case. Joe Pa vowed that the team would help clean up Beaver Stadium after every home game this year.

There was some question about whether he would actually go through with it, but that was answered on Sunday.

The players, some of them looking very groggy, arrived at the stadium in four blue university buses at 7:52 a.m.

I assume groggy is newspaper talk for "extremely hung over."

The players picked up trash in eight sections in the south end of the stadium and around the perimeter of the field. There are 92 sections in the stadium. The football team was also joined by Penn St.'s club teams, which normally clean the stadium.

Probably the worst thing was after cleaning up for more than 90 minutes and getting back on the buses, Joe Pa forced the team back out to the stands again because they'd done such a crappy job. It took them another 15 minutes before Joe Pa let them go.

I can't imagine this will actually go on all season. Maybe another home game or two max, but that's it. Otherwise, Joe Pa is a psycho.

But either way, you've got to admire him for coming through on this, but good lord this has to suck for the players. I played football in college and you could have lit me on fire at 7am on Sunday mornings and I wouldn't have gotten up.

-WCK

The 11 fools you always find at pickup games


This video comes courtesy of Basketbawful, and it just killed me. It's the 11 guys you always find at pickup basketball games. They're definitely missing a few, like Ball Hog, The Requisite Chick, Mr. Uncoordinated, and Perpetual Cherry Picker (that would be me), but it's still good.

-WCK

Labor Day links

Suck it Department of Labor!

Hopefully you're not laboring today, since after all it's Labor Day. And if you are laboring, reading this is better than work. Probably.

On to the links.

A great way to remember Pacman's brief, but memorable time, in TNA wrestling. [Mondesi's House]

What should you do when you're responsible for your team's loss? Why quit of course. [The Beautiful Game]

You should really join a gang today. Myself, I'm in the Loco Burritos. [Introducing Liston]

The Phils swept the sorry-ass Mets in a 4-game series, which of course means the Phils were stealing signs. And by "stealing signs" I mean "try harder Willie Randolph, your team sucks." [Fanhouse]

J.D. Durbin's infinite ERA is going to create a wormhole in the universe. [Ump Bump]

Melo rocks Argentina. [Brahsome]

Colt Brennan has some kick-ass hair. [Mr. Irrelevant]

Uh, that's about it. Seriously.

-WCK

Sunday, September 2, 2007

A look back at a great sports prank

August 31st marked the 20 year anniversary of one of the better pranks in professional sports history. A minor league catcher named Dave Bresnahan for the Indians double A affiliate painted a potato to resemble a baseball in order to use it to pick a guy off from third base during a game. The following is from a Yahoo Sports story on the incident.

The tater plot started in the bullpen, sanctuary for baseball's bored. Relief pitchers pass the time by scoping out women or making up silly games involving sunflower seeds. As the .149-hitting backup catcher, Bresnahan spent plenty of time in the 'pen, and he broached the idea that had cooked in his mind for years. John Stuart Mill would have been proud of the marketplace of ideas that commenced. A roll of tape would be too light, a rosin bag too fluffy.

"And then it came to me: a potato," Bresnahan says. "Mainly because it sounds funny."

Word filtered around the Bills' clubhouse about Bresnahan's plan, and with the team more than 20 games out of first place, it gave players something to anticipate. The schedule gave Bresnahan a perfect chance. He knew he would play at least one game against the Reading Phillies in an Aug. 31 doubleheader, and the Phillie Phanatic was showing up that day too, ensuring a big crowd.

A few games before potato day, Bresnahan caught a game against the Phillies. He tried to pick a runner off third base, the first piece of bait in his elaborate hornswoggle.

"There was a lot of premeditation in this," Bresnahan says. "I'm kind of anal that way. When I plan something out, I want to make sure the details are covered. In order for this to really work, I needed a guy on third with two outs. When I did it, all the guys on the field would hustle back into the dugout. That way if the umpire ruled against us, we'd have to run back out on the field. And then it's more dramatic."

Earlier that week, Bresnahan called major-league umpire Tim Tschida, a friend of a teammate, and asked how he would rule the potato play. Tschida said he would return the runner to third base, end of story. If it was good enough for Tschida, Bresnahan figured, it worked for him.

In the fifth inning, the time came. Two outs. Runner Rick Lundblade on third. Bresnahan told home-plate umpire Scott Potter the webbing of his glove had broken. Potter allowed him into the dugout, where a glove with the peeled potato waited. Teammates giggled. Bresnahan told them to shut up.

The potato remained in Bresnahan's glove until he called the pitch, an outside slider that had little chance of being put into play. During the windup, Bresnahan transferred the potato to his bare hand.

"It wasn't that bad a throw," Bresnahan says. "It was supposed to be bad. But it was smaller. It was moist. I was nervous. I came up firing. As I threw it, I said, 'Oh, no.' It was headed right toward his helmet. It just missed."

Third baseman Rob Swain, flummoxed by the good throw, tried to sell it by doing his best olé. The potato hit the ground and exploded into three pieces. Lundblade never saw it. He had started running home.

"I tagged him and showed him the ball, then rolled it to the mound and ran toward the dugout," Bresnahan says. "All my teammates buried their faces in their gloves and were laughing. They couldn't move. I told them to get off the field."

Behind the plate, Potter was confused. The third-base umpire ran into the outfield and retrieved the biggest chunk. "It's a (expletive) potato," he yelled to Potter.

"What are you doing?" Potter asked Bresnahan.

"It's just a joke," he replied.

Potter awarded Lundblade home and the scorekeeper charged Bresnahan with an error. Bresnahan wasn't ejected, but Williamsport manager Orlando Gomez yanked him from the game immediately and fined him $50. That night, celebrating over post-game beers, Bresnahan's teammates started a fund to pay the fine.

When Bresnahan showed up at the stadium the following day, Gomez called him in his office. Jeff Scott, farm director of Williamsport's parent team, the Cleveland Indians was on the phone. Bresnahan knew Scott from their days in the Seattle organization. Scott laughed, told Bresnahan he was an idiot and said he needed to release him.

And thus ended Dave Bresnahan's baseball career. Though he did make one more trip that season to the ballpark. Later that day, Bresnahan returned from the grocery store with huge sacks of potatoes. He placed 50 of them on Gomez's desk.

-WCK

Sunday link squad

The link squad for today is Appalachian State, who took it to Michigan. By the way Michigan, you might want to work on your placekicking blocking schemes. Because they were horrible yesterday. On the crucial game ending block that App St. guy came through so clean he could have stolen the ball out of the placeholder's hands.

On to the links.

The inevitable web site calling for Lloyd Carr's head sure popped up fast. [Get Rid of Carr!]

The M Zone's reaction. [The M Zone]

That new Red Sox pitcher is pretty good. [Awful Announcing]

When's it ok to force dogs to the breaking point? [NOIS]

T.O. keeps putting his foot in his mouth. [Larry Brown Sports]

Since Beckham isn't playing any more this season, I guess you might as well see him in this commercial. [The Beautiful Game]

-WCK

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Saturday football recap: The Pac-10 brings out the wood

We're west coast guys, and tonight we couldn't be prouder. Cal put the wood to Tennessee and would have beaten them by 21 if Nate Longshore hadn't had the only Cal brainfart of the evening with that fumbled snap. Not only that, but Cal made Tennessee look slow tonight. Yeah you read that right. A nationally ranked top-15 SEC team looked slow. And had the ball run down their throats.

Neither of us can understand why people kept bashing the Pac-10 before the season started. We're looking at you Les Miles, you fucking asshole. USC and Cal are insanely legit teams and anyone who thinks playing UCLA will be a walk in the park has their head up their ass.

And who said USC has an easy schedule this year? They have three huge games against Nebraska, Cal and UCLA. Yeah, total walk in the park. In fact, if USC and Cal stay undefeated this year, their matchup in the Pac-10 may be the real national championship. And DeSean Jackson, you made me have a Reggie Bush flashback tonight.
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On to Notre Dame. They suck. Period. And Charlie Weis is a pompous dick. Plus, we can't help but be glad that somewhere else on the college football map a guy named Tyrone Willingham led UW to victory. We always thought it was fair to bring up the question of race as to why Willingham was let go by Notre Dame. Now it rings more true than ever. After winning 10 games his first year at ND, Willingham didn't get a 10-year contract. But Weis did, and he didn't even win 10 games his first year. People said what killed Willingham was his second season, when he went 5-7. Let me tell you something, Weis will be lucky if the Irish manage to win 5 games this year.
-----------------
Lastly, a tip o' the cap to the boys at Appalachian State. Biggest upset in college football history. That just further cements the notion that Michigan is the biggest choker in college football history. Or maybe that's just Lloyd Carr. Whatever.

-100%

Your weekly EPL hooker orgy

I'm not the biggest fan of soccer, but I do pay attention to the EPL. Why? Weekly hooker orgies. We just don't get enough of those over here in the states for my liking.

And this week orgy involves probably the biggest name in the EPL - Cristiano Ronaldo.

Manchester United are to going to quiz the star striker after he "invited" five hookers back to his home for a poolside orgy.

You may remember Ronaldo has a bit of a thing for hookers.
He was falsely accused of rape by a prostitute after he had sex with her in his suite at London's luxury Sanderson Hotel in 2005.

The five girls travelled 60 miles by taxi from Leeds to Ronaldo’s home on the outskirts of Manchester to party with the players, who were celebrating United’s first victory of the season against the Tottenham Hotspurs this week.

The girls all work through McKenzies Escort agency based in Leeds.

Here's what the web site says about it's commitment to privacy:

“At McKenzies we realise that privacy is of the utmost importance. When making a booking with us, any details you provide are kept in the strictest confidence and are only stored until the end of the booking.”

Whoops.

Ronaldo, a new teammate, and several other guys reportedly all got in on with the hookers until 5am, when they were told to shut up and let Ronaldo sleep. The hookers apparently got plenty of camera phone pictures and videos as well. Those should probably be up on YouTube any day now.

My only question is if Ronaldo celebrated like this after the team's first victory this year, what in God's name did he do when they won last season's championship?

Needless to say, his relationship with Gemma Atkinson is probably on the rocks.

-WCK

Take me out to the brawl game, multiple times

For a more concise, and I would argue better version of this story, here's Home Run Derby's take on it.

There's nothing quite like a good old fashioned baseball fight. And if you attended the Thursday and Friday night games pitting the Kannapolis Intimidators against the Greensboro Grasshoppers of the South Atlantic League (Class A), you more than got your money's worth.

That's because first on Thursday night both entire teams were ejected after two epic brawls. A phone call had to be made to South Atlantic League president John Henry Moss, who ultimately decided along with the umpiring crew to reinstate enough players to actually conclude the game.

With two outs in the first inning, Intimidators pitcher Alberto Zazueta hit batter Logan Morrison with a pitch in the small of his back. Both benches cleared and, eventually, home plate umpire Matt Abbott ejected Grasshoppers batting coach Anthony Iapoce and issued warnings to both teams.

Logan returned to the plate in the third with two outs, and Zazueta hit Logan with a pitch on his upper leg. Abbott immediately ejected the pitcher and Kannapolis manager Chris Jones, and for a second time both teams left their dugouts for a true free-for-all.

"There were four or five brawls going on," Grasshoppers general manager Donald Moore said. "When all was said and done, each team had so many players ejected that they couldn't field a team -- there weren't enough position players left. No one wants a pitcher to play second base."

The umpires had tossed so many players that they didn't know what to do. The umps went into the clubhouse for an hour to discuss taking action before the decision was made to reinstate players.

Even after the call was made to continue the game, things weren't exactly normal.

The dugouts were empty for the remainder of the game. When not at bat, on deck or manning a defensive position, players were to remain in their clubhouses, which were protected by cops. Grasshoppers front-office personnel became messengers, summoning the sequestered players from their lockers to the field when a half-inning ended or their spot in the batting order drew near.

Then on Friday, just because two massive brawls weren't enough, the teams squared off again.

Benches cleared in the top of the third inning, after Intimidator Scotty Madsen slid into second with his spikes up. With South Atlantic League President John Henry Moss watching, players fought for about five minutes, until officials got both teams back into their dugouts.

Despite the fighting, no one was actually ejected this time.

I'm not sure what kind of suspensions are ultimately going to come down on both teams, but maybe if we're lucky all these guys will sign pro boxing contracts to fight during their down time. That's certainly get me watching boxing again.

Here's some video of the major bench clearing brawl, that would be the 2nd dust up on Thursday, in case you were wondering.


-WCK

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