A Joe Pa costs 1/8 of a Nick Saban, and will get you more wins

Joe Paterno may be a bit old for a coach, and he may not know what a Playstation 3 is, but considering what Penn State is paying him, that's ok. He'll do for now.

It was revealed today that Joe Pa makes only a little over $500,000 a year. While that's still a lot of money, it pales in comparison to what other big name coaches make. Alabama's Nick Saban is the highest paid coach in the land at $4 million per year - which makes me laugh every time I hear it - while Oklahoma's Bob Stoops makes over $3 million. Ohio State's Jim Tressel, Florida's Urban Meyer and South Carolina's Steve Spurrier make upward of $2 million annually. I especially like how Meyer is paid $2 million a year to literally run 6 offensive plays. A drunk monkey could run that offense.

What's a bit odd about this whole story is that we never knew what Joe Pa's salary was until now. Penn State is a public institution, which means that all employee salaries should be available to the public.

Penn State, however, refused to make the information public for a long time. It took five years of legal turmoil between The Patriot News in Harrisburg and Penn State before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that Joe Pa's salary and those of other top Penn State officials are public information.

I'm actually glad we finally found out what Joe Pa makes, and it's not outrageous by any means. As Joe Pa said "I'm paid well. I'm not overpaid." Plus he has a substantial retirement fund he can dip into.

In an age where college football has become big business not only for schools, but for coaches, it's good to see a coach of Joe Pa's stature not robbing a school blind. Hopefully, it also leaves some extra money in the coffers to spend on stuff like, say, education.

-WCK

It seems the Packers put a bounty on Purple Jesus

Some people have asked me, what exactly do you have against the Packers? Well, nothing really, until now.

NFL officials are investigating whether Green Bay Packers players placed bounties on Purple Jesus and the Carolina Panthers.

League rules prohibit teams and players "from offering or accepting bonuses to a player for his or his team's performance against a particular team, a particular opposing player or players, or a particular group of an opposing team."

League spokesman Greg Aiello confirmed the investigation Monday.

Apparently Packers defensive backs offered to pay the team's defensive linemen $500 each if they were able to hold Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson under 100 yards rushing two weeks ago. This is new to me, but I believe that's code for "take that guy out." Which is exactly what happened. Peterson wound up rushing for only 45 yards before being removed from the game after tearing his LCL in the third quarter.

The hit was legal, but it sure stinks to high heaven that the Packers had a bounty on Peterson and he gets injured in the same game.

Speaking of bounties, I'll give $500 to anyone who can keep football announcers from gushing over Favre after he throws another stupid interception.

"Look at how much fun he's having out there!"

Yeah, that pick was just what the Packers needed.

-WCK

You too can operate your own dogfighting ring

For those of you that are rich enough - which in all honesty is probably no one reading this - you might be interested to learn that Mike Vick's 15-acre Virginia estate that was at the center of his dogfighting case will soon be up for auction.

After Vick vacated the place, the house and property were assessed for tax purposes at $747,000 and sold to Todd Builders Inc. of Carrollton, Virginia, for $450,000. They'll be auctioning it off on Dec. 15.

Now, being the scrupulous buyer that you are, I'm sure you want to know what you're getting - aside from a dogfighting compound, of course. Well, the home is 4,608-square feet with five bedrooms and 4 1/2 bathrooms. And it has a fireplace - which I assume is to make fires or burn evidence.

Kyle Hause Jr., a real estate agent in Newport News who's doing the auction, is of course refraining from hyping up the house and its infamous past.

"Only one person can own the most famous house in America today," Hause said. "You can ask people from coast to coast which house has the most notoriety in the country today, and it's this house."

Wait, did I say he's "refraining from hyping up the house?" My mistake. I confused a real estate agent with an actual human being. Maybe they'll even throw in a free dog carcass if you buy it. And if you want to check out the backyard, just look below. The black sheds in the white circle are where - as they say - "the magic happens."

-WCK

You may have some money coming your way today

Now that the Red Sox have won the World Series, it's time for one furniture store to start shelling out a hell of a lot of cash.

Jordan's Furniture, which is based in New England and may have the most boring commercials in the region, ran a promotion back in March and April: buy any sofa, dining room table, bed or mattress, and if the Red Sox win the World Series, you'll be completely refunded. Uh oh.

Apparently there were just below 30,000 orders taken during the promotion, so a lot of people will be getting a lot of money back.

If each order was just $500 — a pretty conservative estimate — then Jordan's might end up giving away more than $15 million. But most people bought more than one item. Apparently one customer could get $40,000 back after they furnished their whole house.

Jordan's — like most companies that run such promotions — had taken out prize indemnification insurance, which covers the payouts. So regrettably they aren't going bankrupt. But estimates are that they spent at least $4.5 million on insurance, so at least there's that.

So just in case you weren't already pissed off enough at Red Sox Nation, now you've got this to add some fuel to the fire.

-WCK

Pete Rose needs to move to Europe

I'm not quite sure how concerned Europeans are with their athletes using insider information for gambling purposes. But I guess they're a little more cool with it than people here in the States are.

That's because Bolton Wanderers goalkeeper Jussi Jaaskelainen of the EPL supposedly bet money on who his new head coach would be. Not so surprisingly he got it right and won some money. Also not surprising is that it's somewhat sketchy how he picked the right guy.

A little over a week ago, Bolton coach Sammy Lee left after a horrible start to the season. There were obviously questions about who would replace him - along with betting odds on who it would be. One person that wasn't really a popular choice with fans to replace Lee was Gary Megson. Megson was ultimately given 3-1 odds to become Bolton's new coach but wasn't even close to being the favorite.

Despite those odds, and fan hatred, Jaaskelainen supposedly put down £100 a day for 10 days on Megson to become his new head coach. Jaaskelainen also revealed he and his teammates had discussed the managerial speculation that had surrounded the club since Lee's departure.

Megson was named the head coach yesterday. So when it was all said and done, Jaaskelainen won around £3,000, which I realize isn't much for a pro soccer player. Even better is that there are already odds on whether Megson will make it through this season. Hopefully Jaaskelainen doesn't bet on that.

But I can't be the only one that finds it bizarre that athletes can bet on stuff like this when they're pretty likely to have insider information about it. Looks like Pete Rose should start getting involved in soccer.

-WCK

Vick is in a lot of trouble

In a move that can only be described as somewhat unexpected, Mike Vick lost his arbitration case with the Atlanta Falcons and barring a successful appeal by the Players Association, he'll have to give back $20 million to the team.

We thought Vick would beat this or pay very little back, primarily because Atlanta would need to prove that Vick knew he was in violation of his contract when he signed it. And some legal experts thought Vick wouldn't get hit hard either. Plus an arbitrator had previously stipulated in the Ashley Lelie case that teams cannot recover option bonuses or prorated shares of option bonuses, and this appeared to severely limit the money that teams could recoup if a player defaulted on his contract.

Well that didn't happen. From Yahoo! News:

The Falcons argued that Vick, who pleaded guilty to federal charges for his role in a long-running dogfighting operation, knew he was in violation of the contract when he signed a $130 million deal in December 2004.

The team said he used proceeds from the contract to fund his illicit activities and sought the repayment of $19,970,000 in bonuses he was paid over the last three years.

There are completely different interpretations on why this happened, mainly because the papers decided not to completely fill us in. Some people think this was simply an issue of prorated bonuses. That's likely, but the arbitrator also wrote that his ruling in the bonus dispute involving Ashley Lelie did not apply in Vick's case - which seems odd. And there's no explanation about why Vick's case is different.

However, after Vick's indictment we know he bought the house in 2001 and began sponsoring dogfights in 2002, so that might have actually played a bigger role in this ruling than anyone originally thought it would.

A good friend of ours who has been in Atlanta for a while also said that rumors about Vick and dogfighting have been swirling around down there for years - long before Vick signed the contract.

So maybe the Falcons used Vick's indictment against him. Or maybe it is just prorated salary junk. Or maybe its both. Regardless, Vick could probably use some extra money right about now.

-100%

Travis Henry's kids are in a lot of trouble

Travis Henry. Man, myth, legend. And of course father to nine illegitimate kids. As some of you may remember, Henry has had some trouble paying all of his child support. Which is why this upcoming news is potentially devastating to a rather large group of people.

Henry just tested positive for marijuana use and could be suspended for a year. Hope you like bread and water kids.

Yes, Henry previously served a four-game suspension from the NFL for violating the league's substance abuse policy in September 2005 as a member of the Tennessee Titans. Henry can appeal the latest violation, but if it's denied he'll begin serving a one-year suspension immediately.

I think I speak for all of us when I say that the NFL simply can't suspend Henry. Considering this man is the bread winner for the equivalent of an army battalion, the NFL should make special considerations. Otherwise we might get word of a starvation wave that's sweeping sections of the country.

But on the bright side, if Henry gets suspended he can always spend time with the kids. That is if he can actually remember where they all are.

-WCK

Mike Vick might have a lighter wallet after today

Most of us were aware that the Atlanta Falcons were going to eventually try and see if they could get back a significant portion of Mike Vick's $130 million contract.

Well, that day is today.

The Atlanta Falcons will try to convince an arbitrator the team deserves a refund on up to $22 million in bonus money paid to Vick. The Falcons are expected to contend that Vick knew he was in violation of the contract when he signed the $130 million deal in December of 2004, and that he used proceeds from the deal to fund his dogfighting operation.

The Falcons will be represented Thursday by team president and general manager Rich McKay and three more team officials in the private hearing in Philadelphia.

Attorneys representing the NFL Players Association will argue against the Falcons’ claim. Which means Vick might as well just give the money back now.

In all seriousness though, it's going to be exceedingly difficult for the Falcons to get the $22 million back. According to the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement, bonus money earned can not be returned.

Despite that fact, the Falcons are going to give it a try. Frankly I think it'll be hard to prove that Vick is aware of anything, let alone violations of his own contract.

But hey, most people thought Isiah Thomas was going win his sexual harassment case. And we all know what happened there.

-WCK

Cubs fans are delusional

This always seems to happen whenever a major pro sports team is on the verge of being sold. Rabid fan starts site asking other rabid fans to pledge money to eventually buy team. Needless to say, there better be a lot of rabid fans out there if the minimum asking price for the team - like the Cubs - is $600 million.

But hey, might as well give it a shot, right? Some loyal Cubs fans started Let's Buy the Cubbies back at the end of June. Basically, it asks people to pledge how many shares they'd buy in the Cubs at $200 a share. They don't have to pay now, just when the magical number of $600 million is hit so they can bargain with MLB.

So, they almost there yet? Uh, not even close. So far total pledges are under $400,000 which means the Cubs will probably be going to either Mark Cuban or some greedy conglomerate. But the fans are still hilariously hopeful.

My favorite comment on the site: "We're so close! Keep fighting"

If by close you mean $599.6 million away.

-WCK

Lance Briggs' baby mama sues him ahead of schedule

Lance Briggs seems to be having a rough couple of months. First he blasts the Bears for not paying him enough, he then got charged for wrecking his Lamborghini, his team has started out 1-3, and now he's being sued by his baby mama.

Except this is one of the weirder suits out there I've heard of. That's because so far, even though Briggs and Brittini Tribbett aren't married, Briggs has been a pretty good father - although his baby's only 3 weeks old. So what's the problem then?

According to her lawyer, "we've got to formalize the obligation of support and right of visitation. Lance has been exemplary both as a parent and as a provider thus far. There's no animosity here, but legal necessities are not always niceties."

Talk about moving fast. Shit, she's only had the kid for 3 weeks. She also seems to be on her way to making it legally acceptable to be a complete gold digger. Hoes of the world, take notice.

I mean besides, you might as well squeeze all the cash you can out of Briggs now anyway, you never know when he's going to get into another car accident. And there goes the paycheck.

-WCK

How much will Fire(Coach's Name).com set me back?

After a weekend of football that saw five top 10 college teams fall, Norv Turner solidify his title as worst coach in NFL history, and Lovie Smith back a QB who's maybe as bad as Rex Grossman, you have the feeling that a lot of fans around the country are pretty pissed today.

Naturally, when you're pissed at a football coach, the only rational thing to do is get your hands on a Fire(Whoever my coach is).com domain name. Back in the day, that would have been relatively simple. Just sign up, pay a few bucks, and rant away. But these days, in this tech savvy (and greedy) world, you're going to have to shell out for that right.

That's because there's a site called Redshirted.com that annoyingly owns the rights to a lot of FireCoachWhomever.com domains. Let's see what some of the big names potentially on the hot seat go for.

fireLovieSmith.com - $150 (I have a feeling this price may escalate real soon)
fireRomeoCrennel.com - $150
fireJoeGibbs.com - $250 (You've still got it Joe)
fireMarkMangino.com - $100
fireSlyvesterCroom.com - $250
fireRichRodriguez.com - $250

And just for fun:
fireMikeMartz.com - $50 (What a bargain! Of course it's a little strange to have a web site dedicated to firing your offensive coordinator)

Now I know what you're thinking. What does Norv go for? Ah, my friend, you will have to bid on that. Quite frankly, if I were Redshirted, I wouldn't let that sucker go until I got a couple G's for it. My guess is everyone in San Diego wants that domain name right now.

Some of the names you can't get, because they're already sold, include Brian Billick, Urban Meyer, and Dennis Green. I know for a fact that fireDennisGreen.com was crucial to his demise in Arizona. Or maybe it was just because he sucked. Whatever.

Anyway, if you don't mind spending all your hard earned blog money, then soon you too can bring down the hated coach of your choice. I'm just pissed that fireNickSaban.com is already taken. But then that's hardly surprising.

-WCK

Shaq's personal trainer got the better of him

This is one of those posts that creeps into the celebrity range a little bit too much for my taste, but whatever. As we all know, Shaq is getting divorced. Which, when you think about it, isn't real surprising. He's an NBA superstar, which means we can pretty much assume he's cheated on his wife multiple times. And don't worry, there are plenty of rumors about Shaq out there, including Kobe Bryant's "I should have paid her off like Shaq does" line.

But here's the fun part. Apparently the reason they're getting divorced is not just because Shaunie O'Neal had been hiding money and investments. No, apparently she's also been having a raging affair with one of Shaq's personal trainers. Yikes.

According to Janet Charlton's Hollywood, which I've never heard of until today but I assume does top-notch work and is never wrong about anything, had this to say:

When Shaunie fell for this guy she started stashing money away and went so far as to put a secret down payment on a HOUSE that she plans to share with the [guy].

Ah yes, resorting to illegal money stashing to burgeon an affair that your NBA superstar husband doesn't know about always makes things more interesting. If there was a murder involved we'd have a Hollywood script. Or ninjas, that would work too.

Truth be told, I don't really feel bad for anyone in this sordid affair. Well, I guess I do feel bad the personal trainer. He might be in trouble the next time Shaq comes in for a workout, but that shouldn't happen until about February.

-WCK

Let's all go visit Mike Vick's house

Mike Vick has had a pretty bad run of late. And I'm not just talking about the federal dogfighting charges. He's recently been indicted by a Virginia grand jury on state charges and he's being sued by a Canadian bank that he got a loan from.

With Vick's livelyhood being taken away from him as well, he's certainly going to be in some serious financial trouble soon.

But there is hope on the horizon. According to UPI, the Surry County home that played host to the illegal dogfighting operation has become a local tourist attraction.

Across the street at Ferguson Grove Baptist Church, the groundskeeper, John Williams, watched tourists come and go all summer. He told The Virginian-Pilot newspaper that sometimes vehicles backed up half a dozen at a time to look at the house and take photos.

"If half of 'em that come and look at it each took a little bit," Williams said, showing what he meant with his thumb and forefinger - "there wouldn't be nothing left."

Even though Vick technically doesn't own the house anymore, he could at least try and start charging an admission for people to see the place. Maybe call it Ron Mexico's Dogfighting World, and charge $65 for entry. $200 for a yearly pass and a malnourished pit bull.

-WCK

Kevin Garnett is a lot richer than I ever thought (updated)

UPDATE: The rumor was this place was KG's home. Unfortunately, that appears not to be true. What a shame. Turns out it's just the home of some people who are I guess even richer than KG. It's still worth reading just because this house is insane. Just replace "Kevin Garnett" with "rich old white people" and you'll be fine.

I know Kevin Garnett is a rich, rich man. But he must be pulling in some serious endorsement loot on the side. Why, you ask? Because the man's house in Minnesota is on the market for an obscene $53.5 million. And we're in a housing slump right now.

Good God that's ridiculous. Most high profile athletes have houses somewhere in the range of $5 mil-to-$15 mil, like Alonzo Mourning. A $53 million mansion with 9 bedrooms, two pools (one indoors, one outdoors), and more than a quarter mile of lakeshore is the kind of place a billionaire like Scrooge McDuck lives in. Or Mr. Burns.

Although I think one of our sarcastic-ass readers nailed it on the head - "I thought $55 mil would buy the whole state of Minnesota."

Here are some of the more ridiculous features of the house:

Number of Full Baths: 9
Number of 3/4 Baths: 2
Number of 1/2 Baths: 5

That's right, you can take a dump in a new toilet every day for more than half a month.

Garage Spaces: 12

The man obviously is not concerned about the cost of gas. Or concerned about global warming.

Above Ground Square Feet: 23297 Sq. Ft.
Below Ground Square Feet: 9164 Sq. Ft.

In addition to the sheer size of the house, there's also 13 acres of property to romp around on. But here's what kills me. The real estate company selling this thing says it's a "single family home." In all seriousness, about 6 families could take up residence in this mansion and you'd never know it. If you want to read all the details, here you go.

Anyway, KG, I salute you. I wish you the best of luck in finding a home as equally ridiculous as this one in the Boston area.

HT: Digg

-WCK

How much is your head worth?

There's an interesting article over at a somewhat gay sounding site called FitBuff about a new Riddell helmet that's recently come out. The helmet costs an unreal $1000 but has some major advantages over current helmets.

Well, helmet may be the wrong term. It's being called a high-tech, concussion-sensing, skull encapsulator. Great. Anyway, the football helmet can monitor the precise location and severity of a hit to the player wearing it. Every time a player takes a hit, the helmet uses sensors, similar to those used in airbags, to register the impact, then wirelessly send the data to a computer on the sideline. If the computer determines that a certain player has received enough damage to potentially cause brain injury, it sends an alert to the coach or team trainer instantly.

What's pretty funny is that there will also be a consumer version of the helmet that will work a bit differently. The helmet will need to be hooked up to a computer after the game to upload the data. Once uploaded, you'll be able to officially determine that your illegitimate kid is in a coma from the hit he took on field.

Apparently eight college football teams are already using the new Riddell football helmets.

I'd have to this think this would be great for the pros to use considering how commonplace concussions are. But then I remember Gene "Neck Snapper" Upshaw is in charge of the players union. He'd prefer that players simply go braindead.

-WCK

Pacman is having a better year off than you'd think

I certainly had no idea what in God's name Pacman was going to do during his year off. He of course is working on some album, which is what every suspended athlete does. But remember his TNA appearance? We all laughed, thought it was hilariously stupid and moved on.

But maybe we should have paid more attention.

It's being reported by multiple sites that Pacman Jones was paid $25,000 for his one appearance on TNA and he'll get that same amount for all subsequent appearances. Considering he can't even wrestle, that's one hell of a haul for doing a few minutes of acting.

There's one other problem though, most wrestlers that appear on TNA earn $750 or less per appearance. Yikes. And there's been talk that TNA might actually have to cut wrestlers if Pacman dips into the funds again.

Considering some of the wrestlers were pissed that Jones got his own RV in addition to the $25,000 during his first TV appearance - and there's at least one other reason why wrestlers may hate him - maybe Pacman should just forget ever appearing on TNA ever again.

-WCK

Starving kids don't bother Kobe Bryant

Stories like this always remind me that pro athletes live and walk in a world much different from ours - at least until they inevitably go broke by age 40 from doing stuff exactly like this story.

Pic and story from TMZ:

Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, were at Friday night's grand opening of BLUSH Boutique Nightclub at the Wynn in Las Vegas, when he saw poker player Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari kick in for two bottles of $1,400 Cristal champagne. According to sources inside the club, Kobe wasn't about to be shown up by some puny little card player -- and kicked in for five bottles. Antonio, who's used to upping the ante, then switched his order to ten! Go big or go home!

Kobe ended the competition when he purchased an astounding 15 bottles -- and then left the club! Just to put Bryant's baller status into perspective -- Kobe's $21,000 bill still doesn't cover what NBA and gambling legend Charles Barkley drops on one hand of blackjack!

You have to love Kobe's competetive spirit, and the sheer audacity to do something this ridiculous. There's nothing quite like spending a teacher's yearly salary on something you'll never use. Good to see capitalism at work doing, uh, whatever it is capitalism does.

-WCK

Michael Strahan is hemorrhaging cash

Michael Strahan has had a tough time lately. First he was called a deadbeat by a judge for only giving his ex-wife $3.7 million. Then his ex-wife said he was gay. Then the classy lady had a garage sale selling all of Mike's stuff and then sold their house.

Well, at least Strahan's ex-wife isn't emptying his pockets anymore. No, this time it's the Giants who are doing it.

Strahan, who says he's contemplating retirement but actually appears to be holding out for a new contract, is now being fined $14,288 a day for missing training camp. And it's retroactive to last Friday when camp started. That mean's as of today he owes the Giants $71,440. And the Giants are flying Simeon Rice - a potential replacement - in this afternoon.

I definitely feel for Strahan, who has gotten the rawest of raw deals of late. But seriously man, you're only making $4 million a year. Get into camp before you have no money left at all. The last thing any of us want to see is you working at a McDonald's in three years.

-WCK

Brady Quinn has an inflated sense of self-worth

Brady Quinn sure has been a popular subject of late in the blogging community, especially for his tendency to show up in odd locations and get photographed.

But here's a new one, and this time it's making the people of Cleveland not so pleased.

Quinn, who let's all remember has yet to throw a single pass in the NFL, spent his Saturday at a Cleveland area mall charging $75 for a signed picture of himself and up to $225 for other signed merchandise. Lining your already full pockets will always endear you to fans.

No word on what a picture signed by both Bret Michaels and Quinn was going for.

Fans were pissed because there were no advertisements that said they would need to pay for Quinn's autograph. Now obviously it's a bit absurd to think he wasn't going to be charging anything for his autograph, but $75 for a signed picture of himself?! I'm not even sure I'd pay $75 for a Joe Montana signed picture.

Still, Quinn may just be hitting the market now while demand is high. Somehow I have a feeling that in a year or two it may be a bit less expensive to get an autographed picture of Quinn.

-WCK