Vladimir Putin will teach you to kick some butt

This has to rank up there as one of the coolest things ever done by a head of state while he's still in office. It seems that Russian President Vladimir Putin is a major badass at judo - he's a black belt. I guess when you consider his political background, this makes sense.

But he just announced that he and Yasuhiro Yamashita, a World and Olympic judo champion from Japan, have made an instructional video together.

If you're wondering when this future instant YouTube classic will become available, here's what Putin had to say.

"He and I have recorded a video disc as a video supplement to a judo manual," Putin said. "I think it will be coming out in January or February."

Man, it must be awfully cool to have a president that can break concrete blocks with his head, and administer the infamous "Touch of Death." And if you want to see Putin taking on either a really short Asian man, or perhaps a kid, here you go. I'm hoping it's a kid.


To be honest, this makes America look weak and scrawny. President Bush is really only known for two things in regards to sports - being a wussy high school male cheerleader and an incompetent MLB team owner. Neither of those strike fear into the hearts of anyone. I take that back, the male cheerleader thing definitely makes me afraid, but not in the right way.

Quite frankly, the only way to rectify this critical situation may be to elect Chuck Norris in '08.

-WCK

England's likely new coach is sort of a fascist

I really shouldn't be writing so many soccer stories this week, but as they say, when it rains, it pours. And man is it pouring ridiculous soccer stories this week.

As international soccer fans already know, England failed to qualify for Euro 2008. That doesn't mean much to us here, but it means a hell of a lot over there. So of course a new coach is in order.

Well, the main target of England's attraction is Fabio Capello, the former Juventus and Real Madrid coach. Nothing wrong with that, except that Capello has a somewhat ultra-right, fascist slant to his political beliefs.

Last year, when Capello headed off for his second tour of duty with Real Madrid, he told the Italian paper Republica: "Spain in two words? Latin warmth and creativity regulated by a rigorous order. The order which comes from Franco."

When reminded that Franco was a dictator, Capello replied: "But he left a legacy of order. In Spain everything works well, there is education, cleanliness, respect. We should follow their example."

Capello may have forgotten that both Mussolini and Hitler sent troops, aircrafts, tanks, and other weapons in support of Franco during the Spanish Civil War. The end result of said war was that Franco wiped out approximately 200,000 of his enemies and established a dictatorship for nearly 40 years under which he subjected his democratic and leftist enemies to forced labor camps, mass exile, prisons, torture and executions.

Capello has also admitted to veering to the far right in his voting in Italy. He began to follow politics in 1968 and after starting off voting for the Italian socialist party, he drifted further to the right, eventually switching to extreme right parties Lega Nord and Forza Italia.

Anti-racism groups have accused Lega Nord of "openly embracing racist and fascist" attitudes. And both Spanish and Italian papers have taken shots at Capello calling him a fascist sympathizer.

What makes Capello's political beliefs even more strange is that his father spent time in a Nazi concentration camp.

Capello of course tried to backtrack on his statements, claiming he didn't believe in totalitarianism. But his voting record, and his less-than-intelligent spoken words, still linger.

The fact of the matter is that for most Europeans facism still stings deeply, since a number of countries were under fascist control during WWII. And some, like Spain, for a much longer period of time.

Yet at the same time, England appears ready to make this guy their national team coach before Christmas.

I'm not sure what the American equivalent of this would be. I think, and I'm being serious here, that if U.S. Basketball Team coach Mike Krzyzewski said he really liked the way Stalin got things done that would be about the same.

And I assume we'd all think long and hard about whether we'd still want him to be our country's head coach.

-WCK

But do you really want to be seen with Sen. Chris Dodd?

I've actually interned at the US Senate in the past. It's a interesting place to say the least. And if you're like me, then sometimes the only way you can tell if someone is important on the Hill is if they're surrounded by reporters or staff members. That's Sen. Chris Dodd in a nutshell. Until I worked on Capitol Hill, I never could have picked him out of a police lineup.

A few of you may also know that he's running for president in 2008. I hate to break it to many of you, but he's not going to win. But that hasn't stopped him from trying. He's now looking to bribe you for your support via Red Sox tickets.

Next Thursday at 5 P.M. Eastern, he's going to pick one entrant at random, live and online, to attend Game Six with him that Saturday. He's actually putting up two tickets so you can bring a guest, $600 towards airfare, and a hotel room in Boston.

But naturally there's a catch. You have to make a minimum contribution to his campaign of $20.04 (in honor of the last time the Red Sox won the World Series) to be in the drawing. Of course.

Something tells me that Dodd is going to be spending more money than he'll actually be making from this stunt.

By the way, if you want to know why I have such a strong distaste for politics, then this would be a great example. I'm sure you're wondering though, since Dodd has already jinxed the Red Sox into getting swept or losing in 5, what will the lucky winner get as a backup prize?

you and your guest are invited to spend a day on the Presidential campaign trail with Senator Dodd in Iowa or New Hampshire.

You know what, I'm going to hang on to my $20.04

-WCK

Tom Brady's new archnemesis has a beef with sports

Take a quick look at these two pictures and guess who's 29.

If you said they both are, then you sir are correct. The answer changes slightly if you rephrase the question to who is sleeping with supermodels.

That man above Brady, who looks like he's in his mid-40s, is Mr. Kevin Thompson. He's running for Congress in Massachusetts, he's part of the ultraconservative Constitution Party - and he's using Tom Brady as a whipping boy. And if you don't believe he's 29, check out his MySpace page.

The Fanhouse first reported on this earlier today talking about what a bizarre political strategy this was in going after Brady, because everyone in Massachusetts loves him. But logic hasn't gotten in Thompson's way. Here is one of the barbs he threw Brady's way:

• What is manly or praise-worthy of a man hopping from supermodel to supermodel and forcing a woman to raise her child without a loving, present, father?

If you're still wondering why Thompson is picking on Brady, aside from the fact that Brady's about to have an out-of-wedlock kid, and is dating a supermodel, the reason is that Thompson hates sports - as if you couldn't tell from his awesome physique. This also might be considered a dangerous tactic to use in an election district located just outside Boston that is packed with Red Sox and Patriots fans. Here are Thompson's thoughts on sports:

• It seems as though even good, fundamental men fall into this trap of “worshipping” sports stars to the point of overlooking their sin. I will never understand the great hold sports has upon people. In the end, it is all meaningless to begin with. Bodily exercise profits little Paul tells us. And let’s not fool ourselves - this is exactly what Paul had in mind...Why is so much of our time wasted on something meant as a diversion, played by immature, sinful men and in the end has no effect on our life, the lives of others or on anything of eternal worth. Yet, for some odd reason, many people associate ability in sports with an ideal of manhood.

I personally think the Cincinnatti Bengals and Pacman Jones have helped us overcome our worshipping of sports stars - instead we just mock them - but I could be wrong. As for Thompson, my guess is he got beat up by football players a lot as a kid. For Brady, this is just practice for the future.

By the way, if you take umbrage with Thompson's views on sports, you can reach him here. I already sent him an email letting him know I think Shawn Kemp is a swell father.

-WCK

A reason to bring back an old post

As was first brought up by the FanHouse today, there's a guy named Kevin Thompson who is running for Congress in Massachusetts and he's hammering Tom Brady for his unholy lifestyle.

• "Tom Brady apparently has no regard for traditional virtue or Biblical morality... What is manly or praise-worthy of a man hopping from supermodel to supermodel and forcing a woman to raise her child without a loving present, father?"

I love this because Brady has often said he's interested in running for political office someday, and this is what he can expect will happen if he ever runs.

And what do you, we actually did a post on Tom Brady's political future not that long ago. Seems like running for Congress might be right up Brady's alley. Just think of this as early practice Tom.

-WCK

Dreamboat's political future

This picture won't help

As the race for the 2008 presidential election is beginning to sort of heat up, we thought back on all the times in recent memory we've heard jackass talking heads on radio and television tell us how "it's only a matter of time" before Tom Brady becomes President. When did everyone decide on this? Certainly there are former football players who went on to have political careers. Gerald Ford, Jack Kemp, Heath Shuler, Tom Osborne, and Steve Largent to name a few. Lynn Swann, you're total garbage.

But when did it become written in stone that Dreamboat was going to have his finger on the button when China invades Taiwan in 2041? Sure he's mentioned an interest in eventually going into politics, but that doesn't mean we should roll out the red carpet for him.

We decided we should do an investigation to determine whether or not Dreamboat actually has the potential to be the president of the US and A some day. We've created a scoring system from 1 to 100 points that grades Brady on everything he's done so far and how it could impact his future presidential chances. If it's something good for his future political chances, he gets points. If it's bad, we subtract points. Because Brady is already an extremely well known athlete and a partial celebrity, we'll start him at 75 points.

After we're done, Dreamboat will find himself in one of these categories.

90-100 points: This means he could very well find himself in a heated presidential debate someday discussing important topics. You know, like should we clone U.S. athletes to dominate the Olympics? (yes)

75-89 points: Likely will serve in the U.S. Senate at some point in time or be a potential candidate for Governor of a state.

70-74 points: Mayor of a large U.S. city.

60-69 points: Will be a U.S. Congressman.

50-59 points: Mayor of a reasonably large city.

40-49 points: Either a local city mayor or a sports announcer.

30-39 points: No hope for political future. Likely to be a GAP model, if GAP still exists.

10-29 points: Professional goat-holding model.

0-9 points: Goat farmer.
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Ok then, let's start the fun.

Political allegiance: Two of us grew up where Brady did and went to a rival high school, meaning we know hardly any more about him than you do. It was suggested that when Brady attended the State of the Union address in 2004 that he might be a Republican. Good friends of Brady, however, say he is a moderate Democrat. Being a Democrat right now would help, but so what. Who knows if that'll help in 25 years. (+0)

Speaking of that State of the Union Address: He appeared at a Bush State of the Union address. No one wants to be seen at a Bush State of the Union address. (-5)

Model shoots: Appeared in a photo shoot with a goat. Not quite the same as Reagan appearing in a movie with a monkey. (-5)

Decision making ability: Has shown great decision making ability as a QB, which would likely carry over into politics. This should be a winning category for Brady. But he knocked boots with Tara Reid. No one who hooked up with Tara Reid should ever have his finger on the button. (-5)

Warren G. Harding factor: Malcolm Gladwell in Blink suggested that Harding was elected the 29th President of the U.S. primarily because he looked like a president. There's certainly reason to believe that, since Harding was incompetent before he became president and went down as one of the worst presidents in U.S. history. But whether Brady would be a good or bad president doesn't matter. There are more than enough stupid people in this country who would vote for Dreamboat simply because he looks like a president. (+15)

Shawn Kemp factor: Let's make this clear right away. As a politician, you can't have it be known that you have an illegitimate kid, period. You can have one (or more), just don't let anyone know about them. Ever. (-25)

Religion: This is actually important. Brady is Catholic. Although we may see an African-American or woman president elected in 2008, the fact remains that with the exception of JFK, every President in this country's history has been a male WASP. And if you think there's no way that someone would base their vote on a candidate's religion, look at Mitt Romney. He's Mormon. He's not winning. Enough said. (-5)

Voting blocs:
African-Americans: Brady has played in a league dominated by African Americans, the most loyal voting bloc in America. If he ran as a Democrat, the whole voting bloc would be his. If he ran as a Republican, he'd could at least say "I have black friends" and not be lying, unlike Lynn Swann. (+5)

Women: Think we all know the answer to this one, even though he knocked up Bridget. (+5)

Gay community: YES! Fabulous! He'd get more points if he were Brady Quinn. (+5)

Connecting with the average Joe: Dating a supermodel instantly loses you points in this category. Not many people out there can relate to Brady's life. Except me. (-5)

Foreign Policy: Went to Africa to fight poverty. Poverty still winning. (+1)

Public speaking: He's better than Bush. But then again, who isn't? (+5)

Ability to sell out: Politicians always have to sell out to someone to gain votes. This is why Peyton Manning would succeed in politics because he sells out like a whore. Brady has endorsements, but he doesn't sell out enough. Gotta work on that Dreamboat. (-5)

Football is war: If Lt. Kellen Winslow Jr. is correct, and football really is war, then Brady would be a solid fit as Commander in Chief. I'm a soldier! (+5)

Politics as a bloodsport: Politics is brutal, and football is reasonably good preparation, since it taxes you mentally and physically. We'd also suggest Brady attend some of Ron Mexico's dog fights to toughen himself up even more. (+5)

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Final Tally: I was hoping we'd get professional goat-holding model, but we didn't. The final total is 66 points, meaning Dreamboat should be able to pull a Heath Shuler if he chooses the right voting district. We'd probably suggest somewhere back in California, since Massachusetts may never get over the fact that Brady wore a Yankees cap.

The simple fact of the matter is that because he knocked Bridget up, and isn't going to marry her, his chance at President is completely shot. He may work his way up from Congressman (if he's very good) to Senator or Governor, but even that seems a bit of a stretch. I don't know anyone who ever won a Senate seat or a Governor's seat when it was openly known that they had an illegitimate kid. But you never know. If he runs in California pretty much anything can happen, as evidenced by the fact that we have the Terminator as our Governor.

-WCK