Friday, June 15, 2007

Asterisks for everyone

*not an officially recognized championship

Now that the Spurs have "won" the championship, which we're not recognizing and we'll go into more detail on in a moment, we're presented with a strange case.

Robert Horry now has more championship rings than the greatest player to ever play the game. Just think about that for a second. A decent player, who's biggest claim to fame is making clutch shots and committing cheap fouls, has surpassed Michael Jordan in career championships.

Of course, Bill Russell has more championships than Jordan, but at least he was a player of sufficient caliber where we can say he's at least good enough to be in Jordan's company - if not right at Jordan's side. Robert Horry, however, shouldn't even be Jordan's footstool.

I can't imagine many people - fans and players - are real happy about this, especially Jordan. If Horry winds up at the bottom of the Hudson River in the next month, I wouldn't exactly be all that surprised. Charles Oakley would be my first suspect.

And as for the Spurs, as we said a long time ago, we're not recognizing their championship. Even though it's not really their fault. It's Stern's fault for not letting the Suns/Spurs series be decided as it should have been. So we're giving this championship a big asterisk. And since we're in the asterisk giving mood, here are some championships and records that deserve much needed asterisks.

2007 NBA Championship* - Spurs win, but Stern ruined the whole playoffs by suspending Amare and Diaw in Round Two, essentially handing the championship to the Spurs. Would the Spurs still have won? Maybe, maybe not. Problem is we'll never know.

Robert Horry* - Somehow has more rings than Michael Jordan. He should have an asterisk next to name just for that. As in *sucked something awful in comparison to Jordan.

2002 NBA Championship* - Lakers win, but never should have been in the championship. Lakers won one of the worst and most controversial playoff games in NBA history during the Western Conference Finals. Kings would have closed out Lakers in 6 if not for the Lakers getting an astounding 24 fourth quarter free-throws. Lakers wound up winning the series in 7, and NBA conspiracy theorists had their best evidence of game fixing by refs ever thanks to Game 6.

2002 NFL Championship* - New England Patriots win, but never should have been in the Super Bowl. Insane tuck-rule prevents a clear fumble that would have ended the game, resulting in game tying field goal before Pats winning in overtime.

1986 Fifa World Cup* - Argentina, who won it all, gets by England in quarterfinals largely on Hand of God goal. It was pretty easy to see. One of the worst missed calls ever.

1985 World Series* - Don Denkinger's infamous blown call at first in Game 6 plays huge roll in helping Royals beat Cardinals in 7 games.

1972 Olympic Basketball Gold Medal* - Commie Russians steal gold from the US after getting three attempts to hit final game winning layup. Deserves ENOURMOUS asterisk.

Single Season Home Run record* - Most people have already got this one up since it's pretty clear Bonds used steroids.

Pretty much all track and field records* - It's harder to find clean people in this sport than people using performance enhancers

Every Tour de France* - People might not realize that the guy that came in second after Floyd Landis also tested positive for doping.

1919 World Series* - Everyone knows what happened here. Cincinnati barely won a best of nine (yes, best of nine) series when the Black Sox were actively throwing games. But there's no asterisk in the books. If a championship ever deserved an asterisk, it's this one.

SPECIAL HONORABLE ASTERISK MENTION:

This year's NBA Eastern Conference* - For sucking. I also think the only Western Conference playoff team the Cavs could have beaten in a series was the Lakers.

Bruce Bowen* - For being someone who's made his whole career on fouling and injuring people.

-WCK

7 comments:

BGGB said...

2007 NBA Championship* - Spurs win, but Stern ruined the whole playoffs by suspending Amare and Diaw in Round Two, essentially handing the championship to the Spurs. Would the Spurs still have won? Maybe, maybe not. Problem is we'll never know.

I hate the Spurs as much as the next bitter NBA fan, but losing two players for one game doesn't asterisk-ize the entire playoffs.

This reeks of complaining about the refs or fans who think there's a conspiracy against their team.

Anonymous said...

agree Gabe... i mean the Suns did go out 4-2 (getting spanked in game 6 with amare and diaw)and have gone something like 15-6 against the spurs over the last few years...

Anonymous said...

I've gotta agree with Gabe and the Anonymous dude. You can't marginalize this title because two players missed one game of a seven game series. The Suns still lost in six. If it was game seven in a tight series, then maybe you've got a legitimate beef. The Suns knew what they had to overcome, had their opportunities, and couldn't even stretch the series to seven games. And I say all this as a guy who doesn't even like the Spurs.

JSun said...

Maybe gabe and anonymous and office drone are right.
Kind of like the "hand of God" goal -- it wasn't the game winner and England's goal was at the end of the game and Argentina was a powerhouse.

Oh, unless you take into account that things like the goal or the hip check change the landscape of everything, forcing strategic changes and making players take risks they wouldn't otherwise have taken. I suppose if the changes are made due to a legitimate call, that's one thing -- but at such a high level, you don't need any more handicaps than the other side can legitimately give to you.

Later in life, Maradonna's greatest was marred by cheating, disqualifications and drug addiction. Great guy.

Unknown said...

you're still talking about this like it mattered? did you not see how good they were, this was the best team they've had yet!

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ I can't believe some idiot still even has this thought in his head. Throw out game five, lets say it was a 5 game series. Guess what? The Spurs beat Phoenix more times anyways.

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