Good sir, I believe you tried to imprint your cleats upon my shin. I trust you shan't do that again.
But I was wrong, dead wrong. Robert Edward Auctions, which is a seriously high-brow baseball collectibles company, got their hands on an 1898 MLB document that is rife with expletives. It seems at the time, MLB wanted players to avoid using "any indecent or obscene word, sentence, or expression" on the field (or have directed at fans). So they sent a out a league-wide document that gave examples of what they didn't want players saying. Here are some of the "brutal" things they didn't want to hear, and remember, this was a league-wide, uncensored, document that was sent out.
"You cock-sucking son of a bitch!"You know, I don't remember hearing any of those expressions in the Ken Burns baseball documentary. If you want to read the full document in detail, here's the first part, and here's the second part.
"A dog must have fucked your mother when she made you!"
"You cunt-lapping dog!"
"I fucked your mother, your sister, your wife!"
"I'll make you suck my ass!"
And so you can get your full 19th century fix, here's that clip of Conan at an 1864 baseball game. You should have told the hurler what you did to his mother last night, Conan.