Monday, December 3, 2007

19th century ballplayers uncensored

I've never really thought much about how 19th century baseball players would voice their displeasure with each other, but I always assumed it'd be something like this:

Good sir, I believe you tried to imprint your cleats upon my shin. I trust you shan't do that again.

But I was wrong, dead wrong. Robert Edward Auctions, which is a seriously high-brow baseball collectibles company, got their hands on an 1898 MLB document that is rife with expletives. It seems at the time, MLB wanted players to avoid using "any indecent or obscene word, sentence, or expression" on the field (or have directed at fans). So they sent a out a league-wide document that gave examples of what they didn't want players saying. Here are some of the "brutal" things they didn't want to hear, and remember, this was a league-wide, uncensored, document that was sent out.
"You cock-sucking son of a bitch!"

"A dog must have fucked your mother when she made you!"

"You cunt-lapping dog!"

"I fucked your mother, your sister, your wife!"

"I'll make you suck my ass!"
You know, I don't remember hearing any of those expressions in the Ken Burns baseball documentary. If you want to read the full document in detail, here's the first part, and here's the second part.

And so you can get your full 19th century fix, here's that clip of Conan at an 1864 baseball game. You should have told the hurler what you did to his mother last night, Conan.



-WCK

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Comparing the Conan video to that document is like comparing "Gunsmoke" to "Deadwood."

Anonymous said...

A good reminder that obscenities weren't invented yesterday.

Gourmet Spud said...

I think the real issue is how uncreative players today are with their swearing compared to those in the early 1900s. They should watch more Deadwood in schools.

Kevin Hayward said...

I can just picture Ty Cobb getting called out at second, opening his mouth to swear, and remember the list. Then he says, "Crud!"

Chris said...

Is telling someone to "suck your ass" not the best insult ever??? If it isn't, I don't want to know what is.

Anonymous said...

That is without a doubt, my all-time favorite Conan sketch. The shy girl and conan with a moustache are what make it brillant!

Also,
Hornus Wagner knows your mother sucks cocks in hell!

Loser Domi said...

I loved the "A dog must have fucked your mother when she made you!" I mean, beastiality AND your mom's a whore in one shot.

@gourmet spud: +1

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