Friday links

Let's take a look at what we learned from the first NFL game of the season.

1. If the Saints are the class of the NFC, the NFC is in deep shit.
2. The AFC is good.
3. It's hard to believe, but after having won a Super Bowl, Peyton Manning is in even more commercials. And they all sucked.

Also, unless you've been under a rock, then you know Rick Ankiel - The Story of the Year - has now been connected to an HGH scandal. Which means he's no better than Bonds as we are more than happy to point out to you.

On to the links.

This is too bizarre. Over at Epic Carnival a post was put up literally an hour before the Ankiel story broke. It's entitled "The 10 secrets of Rick Ankiel." Don't worry, I added the 11th in the comments section. [Epic Carnival]

Speaking of Ankiel, Rumors and Rants thinks the Ankiel story is just piling on to a very bad last month and a half. [Rumors and Rants]

And NOIS does their take. [NOIS]

Oscar de la Hoya is going to be doing what now? [Larry Brown Sports]

David Boston, staying one step ahead of Rick Ankiel. [More Credible]

The video game that will surely replace Madden. [NOIS]

Elijah Dukes ain't paying his child support or alimony. I'm shocked! [Sons of Sam Malone]

Keith Olbermann's week 1 wasn't very good. Although don't take my word, I didn't watch his segment. [Awful Announcing]

The best and worst NFL mascots. Although I personally don't think the Chargers belong on the worst list. [All On The Field]

Say Hey, like me, believes our 49ers are headed for a 9-7 season. [Say Hey]

Would you like an ironing board to the face? Sir, yes sir! [Deuce of Davenport]

-WCK

Head, meet concrete

Here's a great reason to build a pool in your backyard. It teaches stupid pampered teenagers the meaning of pain.

Although I shouldn't talk, I had a pool.

-WCK

T.O. is into deer fighting, or something

I don't really want to write about this, not because I have anything against T.O. (well, maybe I do), but because I'm getting tired of people trying to help explain Michael Vick. As a lot of you know, Whoopi Goldberg recently defended Vick. She claimed dogfighting was part of his cultural upbringing. Excellent. Just like how repeatedly bashing losers was part of my upbringing. It's ugly sure, but dammit it was ingrained in me people, there's nothing I can do about it. So I'm glad Whoopi and I see eye to eye on this issue. You know, except for the part about killing dogs.

But T.O.'s response was more interesting. He compared dogfighting to hunting deer: “They cut their heads off and they go to mount them on the wall. And they are animals as well. I don’t see a big difference in the situation.”

Excellent point T.O., even though deer are totally wild animals that can't easily be kept in cages and half-drowned by you before you put a bullet in their heads. And they aren't bred for domestication either. But other than all those things, and about 50 other reasons, they are exactly like dogs - no question.

All this aside, if T.O. starts his own deer fighting league, I'll totally be there.

-WCK

Maurice Clarett lost by a nose

The Columbus Dispatch newspaper, which caters to Ohio State football like a crack whore in need of a fix, just got done with one of its all time best journalistic pieces.

If Ohio State football could have a Mount Rushmore of football heroes, who would they be? According to the Dispatch, Chic Harley (who I've never heard of), Woody Hayes (he won a lot of games), and two-time Heisman Trophy winner Archie Griffin were all automatics. The real question was who would be the fourth.

I did all I could to elect Maurice Clarett, who taught us that you should always drive with Vodka and loaded weapons - but like Kent Brockman said, "Democracy simply doesn't work." The fourth person was decided yesterday and it's Jim Tressel, who won with a measly 91 votes. I smell vote-tampering.

While I'm still kicking myself that I didn't find this a week ago, you can actually still vote and comment, even though the contest is technically over. It's one way to voice your outrage that Clarett wasn't given his rightful place on the Pantheon of Ohio State football greats.

If you'd like to have some Photoshop fun with the original photo, or you feel that Terry Glenn and Joe Germaine were clearly overlooked, here you go.

-WCK

Thursday links: The start of the season

All right, the NFL officially starts tonight. And I begin my survivor league with the notable bros at East Coast Bias, and also Agent Steinz - who's done quite the job of hawking this blog's T-shirts on the Blog Show. There will also be some other top-rate bloggers in the group, including Awful Announcing, NOIS, and Ladies...

Good luck everyone.

I've chosen the Steelers for Week 1. I'll waste a good team in Week 1 just so I can get a sense of how all the teams look this season. Since the Steelers are playing the Browns, you can put that win up on the board right now.

As for overall, I'm riding the Chargers this year. They're my pick come hell or high water. Even though I realize I should probably choose the Pats. Whatever, west coast for life.

On to the links.

We Suck at Sports has the fully translated Darko tirade, it's no joke, and man is it ever intense. [We Suck at Sports]

What music would Leitch listen to if he were stuck on an island? [Brahsome]

Find out how much it'll cost you to have Parcells be your keynote speaker. He'll tell you how much you suck, then replace you Dave Meggett. [Awful Announcing]

I forgot this earlier, but you need to see this, it's a midget v. mascot danceoff. [Home Run Derby]

Lonny Baxter, still a gun lover. [Deuce of Davenport]

Your top 10 QB wingmen. No surprise who #1 is. [Rumors and Rants]

You know, if it weren't for App St. upset of Michigan, we'd probably all be taking a dump on Notre Dame this week. [Larry Brown Sports]

We all love Baron Davis, but who's going to be backing him up this next year? [Say Hey]

NOIS discusses the WNBA Finals. [NOIS]

Willis McGahee seems to think he's a pretty good running back. Maybe, but I think he's a much better baby maker. [Sons of Sam Malone]

This is a few days old - I should have linked it earlier - but I never get tired of seeing Bush look like an idiot. [Pacman Jonesin']

-WCK

More parkour pain

With Leather has gotten me hooked on parkour, or as I like to call the American version - "freedom running." They had quite the clip yesterday of a dude flying off a roof and then hitting himself in the groin on a trampoline. Much to my dismay though, there was a tiny bit of padding on said trampoline.

That got me thinking, what if you removed the padding but still had the help of gravity?

Well here you go. These kids look like they're in control, until one loses his grip. Then gravity does it's magical work, and the un-cushioned railing gets to decide whether this guy will be having any kids in the future.

-WCK

Pretending to be a major leaguer for 20 years

Here's an interesting story. Bill Henry was a 16-year MLB player who pitched in two games of the 1961 World Series while playing for the Cincinnati Reds.

When word leaked that he had passed away last Thursday, it made its way onto national headlines, since Henry had a decent career as a relief pitcher.

Only problem was Henry wasn't actually dead. He was reading the paper this weekend when he suddenly read his own obituary.

Uh, what?

Yes, the real Bill Henry from Texas who debuted with the Boston Red Sox in 1952 and went on to have a career record of 46 wins, 50 losses, 90 saves and a career earned run average of 3.26 - is still alive.

The guy who pretended to be him for the past 20 years is now dead.

"Let everybody know that I'm still kicking," said the real Henry. "I don't know what to think," he said of the man who took his identity. "I'm baffled."

News of Henry's death appeared first in a paid obituary in a Texas newspaper on Thursday. On Saturday, a brief news item about Henry's death appeared in The Ledger's sports section under the headline "Major League Relief Pitcher Bill Henry, of Lakeland, dies at 83." That item was picked up by The Associated Press, which distributed it nationally. Even Sports Illustrated picked it up.

David Lambert, a genealogist for the New England Historic Genealogical Society and a member of the Society for American Baseball Research, discovered the hoax. When he caught wind of Henry's death he noticed a discrepancy in the age mentioned in an obituary. Henry, the retired major leaguer, was born Oct. 15, 1927, in Alice, Texas. The deceased Henry was born Feb. 1, 1924, in Moberly, Mo.

The fake Henry had collected and autographed real Bill Henry cards and frequently spoke with schoolchildren about his MLB days (which of course was a total lie).

What's weird is that the fake Henry got away with this for so long, considering all the information on the back of real Henry cards didn't match up with the fake Henry's background or birthdate.

So I guess that's good news for all you wannabe athletes out there. It seems it isn't real hard to pass yourself off as a former pro athlete. Just be sure you don't pick an athlete that's well known and currently playing, because that could cause some problems.

-WCK

Jose Canseco ran the 40 in 4.2 seconds

Every time I hear people say, "You know what, Jose Canseco was right about steroids in baseball" I think back on all the times Jose was wrong about pretty much everything else. This clip is about 8 or 10 such examples of the later.

The best though is that according to Jose, he used to run the 40 in 4.2 seconds, which would have made him as fast as Deion Sanders. I'm a longtime A's fan and the only thing I ever remember Jose running fast for was...uh...nothing.

-WCK

An interview with a potential All American Football League Player

Some of you may be familiar with the All American Football League. It's a pro league expected to start in April of 2008 and as of right now, several tryouts have already occurred. What makes this league unique is that to compete in it you must have a 4-year college degree.

The league has some interesting ideas as well, which include creating partnerships with NCAA Division I Football schools to host games. The league will be led by former NCAA President Cedric Dempsey.

We had the chance to speak to Drametrice Smith, who is expected to play in the league when it kicks off in 2008. Smith picked up a number of academic awards during his college career and graduated with a degree in communications in 2006. He's currently doing PR work for the league and judging by his exclamation marks at the end of many of his answers, he's ready for this league to get rolling.

So let's get on with the interview. Questions in bold, answers in italics.

What is the overall vision of the league and what is the league trying to accomplish?
To put quality athletes on the field as well as fill the stadium seats. It's only two things that matter Athletes and Fans! Vision, is to improve grad rates throughout the country.

Many players who plan on playing in the NFL leave school in the spring to concentrate on preparing for the NFL combine, workouts, and the draft. Do you think the AAFL can actually change this pattern so more players graduate?
That’s the ultimate goal of this league is to give a guy a chance to focus on school first. Education is vital once you have a degree no one can take your education from you.

Under the current model, the league has signed an agreement with the University of Florida to play some home games in Gainesville. Orlando's Citrus Bowl is expected to host the remaining games. The League has also signed contracts with the Universities of Tennessee, Purdue and NC State to host League teams. And the League has signed a contract with Legion Field to host its Alabama team. Still under consideration are independent sites in Georgia, Michigan, Texas, Mississippi and Arkansas. How many teams do you hope to have in the league by kickoff in April 2008? Will you look to expand after 2008?
Right now, 8 teams hopefully more. Most definitely the league is going to expand, teams are already just waiting to see how the first season kicks off. Then they will jump on the band wagon.

What other schools are being targeted by the league as host sites?
Nebraska, Ohio, Florida State

Are you concerned that with the top college players going into the NFL, that there might be a lack of talent in the AAFL?
No, that’s a misconception its great quality athletes all across the country. Not, everyone ends up in the NFL on there first go around, some athletes are late bloomers. The AAFL may end up just being a productive feeder for the NFL in the near future.

Similarly, are you concerned that the AAFL may lose its top players to the NFL?
That’s great if we lose top players to the NFL that means the NFL supports the AAFL therefore the league will be around for a while. This opens the door for the next graduate to get an opportunity to go out and show cases their talent.

The league almost seems to be the equivalent of a minor league version of the NFL. Would that be a fair assessment?
No, that’s not a fair assessment minor league teams don’t use great facilities and minor leagues don’t have the financial background this league has in place.

One of the league’s key concepts is to have players playing on teams that match up with the school or region that they played college ball at. That way the fan base is already familiar with the players. How do you think fans will take to players that aren’t from their particular region, seeing as there will likely be a fair number of these players?
If an athlete goes out and makes a difference on the field, where he came from will just be history. The fans maybe upset in the beginning, once the season gets rolling and each state is represented right then the country will fall in love with the AAFL.

According to the web site, the colors of the state university school will be utilized for teams, as well as the band and cheerleaders when and where possible. Is there a danger that the league is trying duplicate the college experience too much? Or do you think fans will appreciate that?
This is a great idea tying to that rich tradition that already exists, and just throwing a professional twist into the mix. The fans are going to love this, football year round, something they love with passion.

It is likely that if teams get their players from specific regions, former rivals will now be playing on the same team. Do you think fans will have a problem with this?
From the players’ perspective, I don’t see that being a big issue. But do you think that will bother fans? No, some host universities will not employ true rivalries such as Alabama and Auburn, no way will these two combine for a team in this league. Rich tradition will die, must keep that rivalry going for the fans. Certain teams can coincide with ex-rivalries but some are just a no, point blank no!

It’s been said on the AAFL web site that the average player's total yearly compensation, including benefits, is to be around $100,000. With 40 players per team, and six teams, that’s already $24 million per year spent on the salaries of players. I assume there also still needs to be wide scale promotion of the league as well which will cost more money. With ticket prices starting at $10-$15, and TV deals yet to be completed, do you think it will difficult for the league to turn a profit?
TV deal will be completed very soon, the league will turn a minus cal. profit this year to get it up and running, but when it expands then the revenue is generated!

There is also the potential for fan ownership of teams. Do you expect a fair number of people to be interested in team ownership? Yes, if they can come up with the money someone will purchase a team. Money talks a thousand miles.

Despite the fact that the league’s major goal is to increase the graduation rate of football players, do you think there’s a conflict of interest in having professional teams playing on college campuses?
No, its motivation in my eyes to those athletes who are playing for those universities to see players from the AAFL as role models, to inspire them to get their education. Also, AAFL will be giving back to the community during off season. This league is a positive issue in America, its here to help the NCAA and NFL stepping stone!

What do you hope to accomplish and what do you hope the league accomplishes in this first year?
My goal for this league is to come into camp into shape, go out there and be the most dominant player I can be. Put God first and everything else will take care of itself. The league will accomplish many things, I just hope one day that the league will have plans for us after football; I also hope the league fields teams all across the country to reward those athletes who did the right thing by going to class! No matter what happened on or off the field, they have a degree give them a shot!

-WCK

Wednesday links

It's late, I'm tired. The pic above is good enough because we have a post about Jose doing what Jose does best, saying stupid shit.

On to the links.

A cheerleader magazine is coming out that I'm sure will be filled with excellent articles on our nation's current crisis in Iraq. And also hot, hot women. [Epic Carnival]

The NOIS boys talk about Tiki, and go after Coughlin. [NOIS]

And Popjocks reams Tiki. [Pop Jocks]

A look back at the bling of recent World Series Champs. [Home Run Derby]

Water slide = massive beach riot. Sa-Weet! [Awful Announcing]

Whoopi defends Vick. Anyone else want to ruin their careers? Time's running out since Vick's about to go prison. [Our Book of Scrap]

I'm not the only one that finds the suspensions of Harrison and Wilson a little strange. [Lion in Oil]

A new study reveals that men like hot women. Who would have thought? [CNN]

Here's Brahsome's take on that groundbreaking study, complete with pictures of hot girls so you can test to see if the study is actually true. [Brahsome]

-WCK

The Japanese get a lot more out of their mascots

I'm not even going to try and explain this video. It makes no sense whatsoever. But what it does have is one insane green Japanese dinosaur mascot who just kicks ass at every sport you can possibly imagine. He climbs mountains, does wheelies on an ATV, ski jumps, you name it.

I'm suddenly really pissed at American mascots. All they do is breakdance. What pussies. Can't we at least get one of them waterskiing through a ring of fire for god's sake? I'm not asking for much here people.

-WCK

Let's get drunk and drive a tank

I had to do it, he called me a wanker.

In this modern day hectic corporate world, sometimes it's impossible to get the whole office out for some much needed exercise. But no longer.

A British business that must be owned by an extremely bored former military unit is now offering corporate packages to let people drive tanks - while drunk out of their minds.

You're kidding, right?

This is a great Christmas Gift Idea for Him and also a great Corporate Hospitality Idea for a Team Building event for your company. The Tank Driving course includes complimentary drinks all day.

Yes, nothing helps team building like pretending you're at war - while drinking a martini. That Volvo was totally VC man! And guess what you'll receive after your day of riding the tank around like a jackass? A Certificate of Achievement. I'm surprised it wasn't a plaque on the Douchebag Hall of Fame Wall, but that's just me.

Hey, it's still probably better than wacky tacky tie day.

-WCK