The best (or worst) Olympic music video you will ever see

This video is an absolute acid trip of epic proportions. It was, I guess, a promotional video for the 1984 Olympic Games - and it may be the real reason why the Russians boycotted those Olympics. The video provides you with a brief history of the Games through interpretive dance, cheesy 80s music, a lot of suggestive sword-grabbing, and costumes that were likely worn in the movie The Beastmaster.

I don't even think the Chinese could make an Olympic music video this awesome, and that's saying something.

-WCK

Tony Montana should have used a yo-yo

This strangely hilarious ad actually features two yo-yo professionals - Paul Yath and Patrick Mitchell. I've never heard of them either, and I had no idea there's actual professional yo-yoing. But they show you that yo-yos aren't just for kids that are afraid of the sun and fresh air. Yo-yos are straight-up gangsta, son!

Next time some sucka insults you, bust the side of their face with a yo-yo. They'll never mess with you again - after they kill you, of course.

-WCK

Hot dogs at halftime, and other bizarre athlete food and drink tales

Agent Steinz's great post from a couple days back about how Caron Butler used to religiously down a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew both before games and in the middle of games to amp himself up got me thinking that Butler can't be the only athlete who's ever had a weird association with food and drink in regards to his athletic performance.

And that's indeed the case. A number of athletes have had food and drink play a critical role not only in their athletic accomplishments, but also athletic failures. So let's take a look back, in no particular order, to see who else joins Caron Butler on the Mount Rushmore of food and drink athletic fame.


1. Rod "Hot Dog" Strickland - Rod had a very long and productive NBA career, spanning close to two decades. Some people say he never got the respect he deserved, others say he was a total space cadet. But what I know Rod best for was his habit of throwing up hot dogs during Wizards games. Yes, Rod was a huge hot dog fan, and nothing could stop his quest for a Ballpark Frank, not even a game. Strick used to eat hot dogs from the press room just before game time, sometimes with reporters. This is an actual conversation from a Strick hot dog grab one night (via the Washington Post).

Reporter: Rod, you can't eat that. You'll get sick and throw up!

Rod: I know. Won't be the first time...or the last...Can you slide me that mustard?

2. Babe Ruth - Everyone knows Ruth loved to eat and drink. He also might have been a good challenger for Joey Chesnut and Kobayashi if he were still around. According to an awful lot of people, Ruth once ate 24 hot dogs during a break between a doubleheader. And proceeded to wash down said dogs with 8 sodas - or more likely 8 beers. Ruth also claimed his daily breakfast was as follows: a pint of whiskey mixed with a pint of ginger ale in a pitcher of ice, followed by a porterhouse steak, four fried eggs, fried potatoes, and a pot of coffee. Forget about Wheaties, that's the real breakfast of champions. And morbidly obese men.

3. Billy Walker - Yes, Walker is now well known for taking a leak into some towels during a game, but there was once a time when he was known for something else. Last year he ate popcorn on the bench while watching his Kansas St. teammates lose to DePaul in the NIT. He was recovering from a torn ACL at the time, but I think this speaks to what we all know is true. The NIT is boring as hell.

4. Paul Waner- Waner was part of a Hall of Fame brother tandem that played from the mid-1920s to the mid-1940s for the Pirates. Paul was known as "Big Poison" and his younger brother Lloyd was known as "Little Poison." What made the elder Waner unique though was that he was essentially Caron Butler, except with alcohol, not Mountain Dew. Waner drank nearly constantly and frequently played drunk or hungover. He even said there was an advantage to playing while sauced because a pitched ball looked so blurry, there was "More of it to hit." Waner also once hit a double, rounded second base, and slid into the bullpen mound - more than 60 feet away from third base. Teams would also pitch to Waner depending on whether he showed up to games tanked or not. A pitcher for the NY Giants said if Waner was drunk, he'd pull the ball, if he was sober, he'd go to the opposite field. "Not that it made a great deal of difference."

5. Antonio "Double-Cheeseburger" Tarver - Long before Tarver appeared in the most recent Rocky film, he fell prey to one of the worst ideas in Olympic history. In 1996, a McDonald's was inserted into the Olympic Village in Atlanta. But it gets even worse. If you were an Olympic athlete, you could order whatever you wanted for free. Tarver, who was the light-heavyweight gold-medal favorite, nearly ate himself out of the competition. He spent the entire day before his first bout against lowly Russian Dmitri Vybornoz pigging out at Mickey D's.

"It was free, you know, double cheeseburgers and stuff, any time you want," he said.

Tarver had to go to a split decision in the bout, but won. He went on to win a bronze and eat 127 double cheeseburgers.

6. Andy Roddick - Time for even more McDonald's trouble. Ranked No. 5 in the ATP rankings, Roddick was playing in the semifinals at the Indianapolis Tennis Championships in July, and was expected to cruise to a victory and likely the title. Instead he dropped his semifinal match to unseeded Frank Dancevic 6-4, 7-6 (7-1). Roddick blamed his poor performance on the fact that he had gorged on Chicken McNuggets the night before the match. Considering how I feel after I eat a couple McNuggets, I believe Roddick.

7. Wade Boggs - Boggs is best known for eating chicken before every game of his career. Considering he played in nearly 2,500 pro games, that's a lot of chicken. That also explains why he went by the nickname "Chicken Man" on the Red Sox. But Boggs also had another ridiculous habit. He apparently consistently drank upwards of 50-60 Miller Lites on cross country flights. During an interview, here's what former Yankee Jeff Nelson said.

Nelson: Oh, I’d say, on a typical road trip, east coast to west coast, say a road game to Seattle……Wade would drink anywhere between 50 and 60 beers.

Paul Sorrento, however, claimed it was usually 70 per trip.

8. Tottenham Hotspurs - Sitting in 4th place with one game to play in the 2005-2006 EPL season and a Champions League berth at stake, 10 Spurs players came down with cases of food poisoning after a buffet meal at their hotel the night before their final game against West Ham United. The Spurs went on to lose 2-1, while Arsenal wound up winning their final game and moved into 4th place, thus knocking the Spurs out of the Champions League. Police and scientists were even called to investigate to see if the poisoning had been done intentionally. Although the hotel was ultimately cleared of the food poisoning, and the players were said to have come down with a virus, try telling that to any Spurs fan.

-WCK

You're with me, Kerry Leather and Lacy

Sometimes when you're bored as hell, you accidentally stumble upon something while surfin' them interwebs that is almost inexplicable. Like, why would anyone create a database of every stupid Chris Berman nickname that the man ever used on Sportscenter?

I honestly have no idea.

But you know what, somebody has actually done that. Believe it or not, there are hundreds of nicknames that Berman has used over the years. I thought there'd be maybe 75 to 100. Man, was I ever wrong. The list contains such longtime forgotten nicknames as:

Jay Fiedler on the Roof
Jim Saturday Night LeFebvre
Mike Car 54 Lavalliere
Al Cigarette Leiter
James Teenage Mouton Ninja Turtles
Chan Ho 3 Com Park
Mark Fall Of The House Of Tauscher
John Teenage Wetteland
Greg The Wrath Of Zahn
Rich Protect Your Car With Amaral

Anyway, the whole thing is categorized from A-Z. I'd only suggest viewing the complete list if you're having a really slow day at work. Which, come to think of it, is probably all of you.

-WCK

Hockey goes nude

I'd have to think it'd be awful weird to see a 7 ft. tall portrait of yourself completely naked, especially considering that you never posed naked in front of an artist.

But that's exactly what's going on right now for two former Boston Bruin greats, Bobby Orr and Derek Sanderson.

Artist Kurt Kauper, who loved the Bruins growing up, currently has an exhibition going on at the Deitch Projects gallery in New York entitled, "Everybody Knew That Canadians Were The Best Hockey Players."

Anyway, as I said before, Orr and Sanderson never posed for Kauper. The artist used images from hockey trading cards and photographs to create the nude paintings. And all but one of the nude paintings has been sold.

Kauper, who has done a number of nude portraits, including some of Cary Grant, has been surprised by the reactions of some people to him and his work.

"People didn't really ask the question so much as assume that I'm gay." Kauper is straight. He lives in New York with his wife, photographer Annelizabeth Wells, and their two children.

Sanderson has no problem with the paintings.

"I just hope he's a good artist," he said.

Orr, however, hasn't said anything about the paintings. And former Bruin Brad Park, who played briefly alongside Sanderson and Orr and looked at the works online, said he "would not walk across the street to view this art."

Anyway, I think the moral of the story here is this: If you don't want to be painted nude, then it's probably best not be a public figure. So in other words, hockey players should feel pretty safe at this point.

HT: Boston.com

-WCK

Rugby players care not for endangered species

Man is this story ever bizarre. I don't know if you've ever heard of the quokka, but it's an endangered species or a "vulnerable" species in Australia, depending on whom you ask. Either way, it's an animal in trouble. A quokka basically looks like a mini-kangaroo and weighs about 10 pounds.

Anyway, the Australian rugby team Western Force, which plays in the well known international Super 14 rugby league, is in deep trouble for apparently "hammer-throwing" quokkas during a team bonding session last Friday that - surprise - involved heavy drinking. By the way, if you don't know what hammer-throwing is, take a look at the picture below.
According to Australian newspapers, one player reportedly picked up a quokka by the tail, spun it several times above his head and then let it go - on the fly.

Another incident included a player enacting a series of diving tries with a milk crate containing quokkas. No word on if he spiked the crate in celebration after his successful tries.

My guess would be the quokkas probably didn't enjoy these games too much - if they survived. I'm not sure what the American equivalent to these stunts would be, but I'm pretty sure repeatedly punting a bald eagle would be in the same ballpark.

There's currently an ongoing investigation to determine what exactly happened. I'm pulling for the quokkas.

-WCK

Violating goalposts will help you win games

Grand Valley State University has pretty much been violating teams for the last few seasons. They've won an NCAA D-II record 39-straight games and haven't lost since 2004. However, during their most recent win against North Dakota on Saturday, the GVSU mascot decided to get in on the action. And by "get in on the action" I mean "he started humping a goalpost totally out of the blue."

Hey man, whatever helps you win games. By the way, if Chad Johnson did this he'd be suspended for a decade.

-WCK

Mr. Testicles, the Bo Jackson of mascots, returns

I know many of you are thinking to yourselves, didn't this blog mention last week that Mr. Testicles, the the Male Cancer Awareness Campaign mascot, was going to be participating in an event during halftime of the Everton v. Sunderland EPL tilt? Yes, yes we did.

And of course, there's now footage of his exploits. By the way, I think Sunderland could have used Mr. Testicles (literally). They got destroyed 7-1.


-WCK

Nothing says Christmas like a defecating Pau Gasol

You've got to stay with me for a minute on this one. In the Catalan region of Spain, there's a Christmas tradition where you put a tiny figurine of a peasant defecating within the traditional nativity scene. The figurine is called a caganer. The origins of why you'd put a crapping peasant somewhere in the vicinity of baby Jesus has been lost over time, but the practice has been going on since the 17th century. Some people say the peasant represents the equality of all people, others say it's just a kids game (as in find the crapping peasant).

But over time, the caganer has evolved to include celebrities, politicians, and of course athletes. So if you're looking for a figurine of Pau Gasol dropping a deuce for your nativity scene this year, we've got you covered.

Here's Pau in action. He's obviously leaving a gift for the defense.

Here's soccer superstar Thierry Henry, who I'm guessing had Cheetos recently.

And here's a very happy Ronaldinho.

And last but not least, wunderkind Lionel Messi.

So if you think athletes taking dumps in your nativity scene is just what you need for Christmas this year, you can find more here.

Sure it may be sacrilegious, but hey, it's also tradition. Either way, you'll certainly be the talk of Christmas (and many more to follow) with one of these figurines.

-WCK

The Canadian Nipplegate

Back in 2004 we had Nipplegate here in the states. It changed life forever as we know it. Or at least I think it did. It caused a tape delay or something, right? Whatever, I can't remember.

Now Canada officially has it's own version. Although regrettably it's neither sexy nor interesting like Nipplegate was.

Lenny Kravitz was yesterday's CFL Grey Cup half-time show. And I'm as surprised as you are. Lenny Kravitz is still popular somewhere? Anyway, Kravitz let the plumber's butt drop a few times on Canadian national TV during the halftime show.
Not quite Nipplegate, but hey, it's Canada. What did you expect?

Boy, one hand is getting a little too close for comfort there. (shudder)

HT: BlogTo

-WCK

The strange disappearances of three basketball players

I'm not sure strange disappearances in pro sports are unique to basketball. In fact, I'm sure they certainly aren't. But for whatever reason, pro basketball has had some truly bizarre disappearances of several athletes over time. And I'm not talking about players just leaving the game or losing their talent at the drop of a hat. I'm talking about guys literally disappearing.

The most recent bizarre disappearance involves former Washington State University player Tony Harris. In 1994, Harris, a guard, led a Cinderella Cougars team to the NCAA tournament. The team lost in the East Regional to Boston College, 67-64. Despite this, Harris never played in the NBA. After college, he played in Asia and South America. He starred in Brazil from 2000-05, earning Player of the Year honors and winning a championship for Uberlandia before retiring. But this year he decided to return to Brazil to get a "financial cushion" before the birth of his first child with his wife Lori.

Lori said her husband left Seattle for Brasilia in central Brazil on Oct. 31. She last heard from him early Nov. 4, when he spoke to her, fear in his voice, from a Brazilian taxi driver's cell phone. Two days earlier, he called and said "he didn't feel safe and that if he didn't come home now, he wasn't going to make it home," she said.

Harris said her husband had expressed concerns about people involved with the team, and was hearing upsetting rumors about himself. The basketball team's organization, she said, apparently held his passport, and her husband was trying to get to another city in Brazil where a friend could help.

And that's it. No one knows what's happened to Harris and so far no one is exactly going out of their way to help Harris' family find him.

But if you think think that's a strange tale, it's not even the strangest tale to come out of Seattle, which is where Harris hails from. By far the weirdest disappearance, maybe in sports history, is that of former Sonics player John Brisker. Brisker was a tough, bruising, and menacing player who spent time in the ABA before joining the Sonics in the early 70s. However, only a couple of years after he was cut during the 75-76 season, he pretty much inexplicably traveled to Uganda during the height of Idi Amin's reign of terror. Brisker told some of his family members he had plans to get into the import-export business. 1978 was the last time his family heard from him, which was one phone call from Kampala. After that he was never heard from again.

The legends about Brisker's disappearance are just as strange as his decision to go to Uganda.

Brisker's family said he had been invited to Uganda as a guest of Amin, a wild basketball enthusiast. One line of thinking is that Brisker was executed in Uganda. After Amin's government was overthrown in 1979, the theory goes, Brisker was shot by a firing squad of anti-Amin revolutionaries.

Another somewhat credible account is that Brisker didn't just want to go to Uganda as a guest, he actually wanted to fight for Amin. One night around 1978, former Pittsburgh Condors public relations director Fred Cranwell played back a message left on his home phone. It was a collect call from Brisker, who cryptically said he was going to Africa to fight in a war.

There's even a thought that Brisker simply became an anonymous individual in Uganda or somewhere else in Africa to begin a new life.

But perhaps the weirdest theory of all is that Brisker got on Amin's bad side, was killed, and eaten by the dictator.

Regardless of what happened, Brisker was declared legally dead in 1985 by the King County, Washington medical examiner.

The last bizarre disappearance should be somewhat familiar to those of you who grew up watching basketball in the 90s. In 2002, Bison Dele - who used to be known as Brian Williams - disappeared at sea in Tahiti along with his girlfriend and the ship's captain. Initially, no boat was recovered and the only person who made it back to land was Dele's brother, Miles Dabord (born Kevin Williams). However, after an extensive investigation that even involved the FBI, the boat was found 2 months later off the coast of Tahiti with its name plate removed and some possible bullet holes patched up. Since Dele's disappearance Dabord had also forged his brother's signature in order to buy $152,000 worth of gold under his brother's name. He had also used Dele's passport as identification. The FBI concluded that Dele, his girlfriend and the skipper were probably killed, and then thrown overboard, by Dabord.

Dabord, the only major source of information regarding the case, intentionally overdosed on insulin shortly thereafter and slipped into a coma. He died within a few weeks, effectively shutting the book on the case forever.

All three cases are truly bizarre, and while Brisker and Dele are in all likelihood dead, let's hope that Harris is found safe and sound.

-WCK

The Gipper liked them young

You may recall back in October that George Gipp's body was exhumed for rather bizarre and unexplained reasons. And just to make it even weirder, ESPN filmed it too.

Well, a little later it leaked out that Gipp's body was exhumed to find out if he had fathered an illegitimate kid.

Gipp, as it turns out, wasn't the 1920s Matt Leinart, so he won't be joining our list of athletes who fathered illegitimate kids (although Gipp apparently went to even fewer classes than Leinart and was heavily involved in gambling rings). Tests done on Gipp's right femur revealed that he wasn't the father. But there's still some strange stuff to reveal.

The whole reason for this bizarre series of events actually came from this 2005 internet posting by a woman who believed Gipp had gotten her grandmother - Eva Bright - pregnant. Gipp actually did date Bright for a year before he died at age 25. But the interesting thing is that Bright was either 15 or 16 when Gipp was dating her. I don't even think Leinart would do something like that.

So in other words, a 25-year-old All-American football player was dating a woman almost a decade younger than him who wound up cheating on him. I'm just amazed Marcus Vick wasn't involved in any way.

As for Notre Dame, they seem to have taken Knute Rockne's "Win ONE for the Gipper" speech way too literally this year.

-WCK

A different way to get your hands on World Series tickets

You can never really trust Craigslist ads, since it's possible someone could just be posting something as a joke. But for some reason, I sort of believe this one.

Some woman in Colorado has a proposal out there for an interested party. She's got 4 tickets to the World Series in Colorado, but isn't really interested in going. So she'll swap the tickets with you provided you pay for her boob-job.

I was one of the lucky ones and got world series tickets. I have 4 tickets in hand, but honestly would like to get my boobs enhanced....=-)If it helps here is a desricption of me, I am Italian 5'4 125 lbs, long beautiful hair, pretty face...just a little small in the breast area.... I know this sounds shallow, but I figure someone out there would like to go to the game more than me. Tickets are lower level, and I have 4....make me an offer I can't refuse....or we can make a transaction at the plastic surgeons office of my choice here in Denver....plus I will send you before and after photos!! =-) Best wishes to all......

I like how she'll send before and after pictures, just so you can see where your money went. The interesting thing is that it may actually be cheaper to buy her the boob-job than actually buy the tickets straight up. World Series tickets have gone for as high as $1,400 this year. A boob-job, when it's all said and done, usually ranges from $4,000 to $10,000. So if she's up for a cheaper job, you might actually save money. That seems like a good deal for everyone.

-WCK

Robosaurus is up for sale, we are excited

Thanks to Jalopnik, it's come to our attention that the mighty Robosaurus, best known for eating cars and weapons of mass destruction, is going to be auctioned off in Scottsdale, Arizona in January. Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Sorry, couldn't resist.

"This is without a doubt the largest, nastiest, most intimidating piece of machinery that we've ever consigned at Barrett-Jackson," said Steve Davis, President of the Barrett-Jackson Auction Company. "Robosaurus is the first Life Magazine cover 'star' that Barrett-Jackson has ever featured - awesome!"

Robosaurus once made the cover of Life magazine? Uh, yeah, he did.
I guess Life was appealing to the white trash crowd that week. Anyway, the auction is Jan. 12-20. We'll see you there.

-WCK

Xtreme Baseball has a new challenger - Ice Soccer

I thought Xtreme Baseball was a pretty stupid sport, namely because playing two games of baseball at the same time on one field really makes no sense.

But humans are a stupid breed of animal, and we will continue to try and push the limits of stupidity to no end. So here I present you with ice soccer. Yes, a company called Taylor Sports is pushing this sport real hard currently and wants to have a pro league by 2015. And it's being hawked by two former Survivor contestants! So you know it's legit, because nothing says legit like F-list celebrities that you never saw on TV. Basically you put on a football helmet, slide around the ice like an idiot, and kick around something called a Boot'r that looks like a giant black turd. I'm not sure how this league can possibly fail. I like how the site also says Before the Boot’r, soccer on ice was not a viable sport. I'm not sure it was ever meant to be a viable sport period. And man, if you thought diving was a problem in soccer...

Not great, but if the league ever starts making hits like this, then I'll definitely watch it.


-WCK

Who exactly are these dolls targeted for?

A company called Round 5 MMA is coming out with mixed martial arts action figures for Christmas. The one you see above is an uncolored prototype of Randy Couture. There will ultimately be an entire series launched featuring a number of MMA stars.

While this clearly shows that MMA is on the rise, who in the hell are these things targeted for? Or maybe I'm just not in the know and MMA is actually the sport of choice for 6-year-old boys. Football? Football's for losers old man!

Something tells me that the primary audience for this doll, I mean action figure, will be 35-year-old men who live in their mother's basement. You know, just like me. Except I'm 10 years younger and live in a mansion.

-WCK

The Marlins are orgasmically bad

Some of you may remember that story Larry Brown Sports did last week on that Marlins series where they had only about 200 people at one game. Well, CNN did a quick story on it and, uh, someone at CNN was doing something in the background. Turn the volume up.

-WCK

Pretending to be a major leaguer for 20 years

Here's an interesting story. Bill Henry was a 16-year MLB player who pitched in two games of the 1961 World Series while playing for the Cincinnati Reds.

When word leaked that he had passed away last Thursday, it made its way onto national headlines, since Henry had a decent career as a relief pitcher.

Only problem was Henry wasn't actually dead. He was reading the paper this weekend when he suddenly read his own obituary.

Uh, what?

Yes, the real Bill Henry from Texas who debuted with the Boston Red Sox in 1952 and went on to have a career record of 46 wins, 50 losses, 90 saves and a career earned run average of 3.26 - is still alive.

The guy who pretended to be him for the past 20 years is now dead.

"Let everybody know that I'm still kicking," said the real Henry. "I don't know what to think," he said of the man who took his identity. "I'm baffled."

News of Henry's death appeared first in a paid obituary in a Texas newspaper on Thursday. On Saturday, a brief news item about Henry's death appeared in The Ledger's sports section under the headline "Major League Relief Pitcher Bill Henry, of Lakeland, dies at 83." That item was picked up by The Associated Press, which distributed it nationally. Even Sports Illustrated picked it up.

David Lambert, a genealogist for the New England Historic Genealogical Society and a member of the Society for American Baseball Research, discovered the hoax. When he caught wind of Henry's death he noticed a discrepancy in the age mentioned in an obituary. Henry, the retired major leaguer, was born Oct. 15, 1927, in Alice, Texas. The deceased Henry was born Feb. 1, 1924, in Moberly, Mo.

The fake Henry had collected and autographed real Bill Henry cards and frequently spoke with schoolchildren about his MLB days (which of course was a total lie).

What's weird is that the fake Henry got away with this for so long, considering all the information on the back of real Henry cards didn't match up with the fake Henry's background or birthdate.

So I guess that's good news for all you wannabe athletes out there. It seems it isn't real hard to pass yourself off as a former pro athlete. Just be sure you don't pick an athlete that's well known and currently playing, because that could cause some problems.

-WCK