Nike has the nerd market cornered

For a long time Nike has been focused just on sports. Naturally. Well, now they've begun to expand their web of influence over complete nerds as well. Yes my friends, TODAY Nike releases the shoes we've been waiting our whole lives for - Transformers athletic shoes. And they're making them primarily in adult sizes, as in for adults or people who think they're adults. Here's hoping they transform, and possibly make me fly. Man that would be so cool.

Now let's get a look at what I'm sure are awesome kicks.

Hmmmm. I'm no longer quite so excited. This is the Optimus Prime model shoe. I have a feeling I might get laughed off the basketball court. But thanks to the air cushioning, I might be able to run home before I get my ass severely kicked. For some reason the only thing I can get it to transform into is a shoe. What a shame.

This is the long awaited Starscream model. It doesn't look a lot like him and the purple shoelaces are, uh, less than masculine. I'm pretty sure I can kiss dating goodbye if I wear these things. However, I'm 100% sure though that the Megatron model will really kick ass. It has to, because he was the evil bad guy.

Are you f*cking kidding me! When did Megatron become a complete wuss and a fat woman runner? And to top it all off, this shoe doesn't transform either! Although as a consolation it transforms me into a complete loser.

And the worst thing is none of them have the Autobot or Decepticon decals on them. For shame. Nike, you're now officially on my shit list.

-WCK