Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Salty D's Rant of the Week: Most Annoying Fan-Base

Here is the weekly rant. As always, it's decisive, uncompromising, and rude. Just like Max Power.

Okay, so the question today is: "who is the most annoying fan-base in sports today?" Many of you may have your own personal opinions based on being harassed, beaten, or neglected... and if you're a Broncos fan cheering for Denver at Oakland Coliseum I wouldn't be shocked to hear you hate Raiders fans... but that's probably just because you've had someone shit in your mouth at the Coliseum... but at least the Raiders fans had justification for dropping a deuce in your Broncos-loving mouth, you were after all cheering for the Broncos in Oakland Coliseum. You just should have known better.

That being said, the winner for most annoying fan-base is a landslide winner that I'm sure many people can join in my sheer contempt with... the winner is New York Yankees fans that have never lived in or have any reason for claiming to be New Yorkers. Perhaps the best example of this is none other than Tom Brady who is from Northern California yet rocks the Yankees cap and claims to be a fan as if he were brought up in the Bronx and had a role in the movie Kids. I don't care what supermodel he nails or how many Super Bowls that guy racks up in his career, he is officially a piece of shit. I seriously think there should be a Michael Vick-style backlash about this, but apparently the majority of the American public feels that being a New England Patriot and wearing a Yankees cap is totally cool even though you're from San Mateo, California. Hey... to each their own.

Now, I'm sorry Non-New Yorker Yankees fans, there is NO excuse for claiming to be a Yankees fan if you are not from the immediate New York area. NONE. I've heard it all too. "Oh, my grandfather got me into baseball and HE was a Yankees fan so...." Or my personal favorite, "oh, I started loving the Yankees when they sucked in the mid to late 80's so I'm a real fan." Fuck you you're a real fan. What?! So they had like five bad seasons, you jump on the bandwagon and I have to listen to your shit even though you're from Oregon.

And is there any other any fan-base that can't take a bit of shit without freaking out? There's nothing like going up to a Non-New Yorker Yankees fan after them losing a playoff game for the first time in like 8 years and just mentioning the fact they lost and suddenly being involved in a brawl while you were in line for your morning coffee.

Now, I have a very minimal amount of love for JUSTIFIED Yankees fans, but if you're not from the immediate New York Metropolitan Area and you still root for the Yankees, you should really just go home and either: 1) shoot yourself or 2) well, again, let's just have you shoot yourself for the betterment of mankind. Trust me, the rest of the baseball watching world would do nothing but applaud your exit from this world...

Salty D


Hugging Harold Reynolds said...

Easiest way to pick out a true Yankee fan....ask them who played SS before Derek Jeter.

Andy said...

The deuce in the mouth at Oakland Coliseum has to be one of the greatest lines I've seen in a long time.

Kevin Hayward said...

You know, there are a ton of bandwagon jumping Red Sox fans these days, too. I'd be willing to bet that their "fan base" has doubled, if not tripled since their World Series win in 2004. But it's probably still not as bad as the Yankee "nation." Yuck.

Jarrett Carter said...

Totally agree.

At the same time, I've hated the Washington Redskins all my life despite growing up just minutes from the stadium. In a search to support some team, I favored the Chicago Bear s of my youth up until the Baltimore Ravens arrived.

Just couldn't see rooting for the Cowboys either, which is what most contrary DC residents do.

Anonymous said...

Wait, the only teams you can root for are local teams? So who do they root for in Idaho? What football team do you get to root for if you are from Los Angeles? Please let me know!!

Anonymous said...

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. The Yankees fans are only slightly worse than Laker fans.

Rupert Entwistle said...

I once stayed in the same hotel as the Raiders in Denver. Witnessing those Raider fans with spiked shoulder pads and black paint on their bare chests is fucking scary when your not at a football game.

It feels they are going to start jumping off turnbuckles everywhere you look.

DDay said...

Yankee fan here.

Tony Fernandez played SS before Jeter came up the the big leagues. Before him there were guys like Kevin Elster, Wayne Tolleson, Paul Zuvella and Bobby meachem.

As a Yankee fan I hate the Yankee bandwagon guys more than the next guy. Where were you when we had Andy Hawkins throwing no hitters against the White Sox and losing 4-0? Probably being a bash brothers fan, that's where.

Anonymous said...

what about cowboys fans? they're all over the place...

Anonymous said...

No doubt. I'm from Wash Heights and can't even stand the mf'ers that show up from upstate new york.

Anonymous said...

It wasn't just Tony Fernandez that played shortstop in 1995. Mike Gallego (who wore #2 before Jeter got there) and Spike Owen (a former Red Sox) split time there as well.

Another good gauge for a true Yankees fan: name the starter in centerfield before Bernie Williams, who was he traded to, and for whom? Not as hard as the Jeter one, but an important piece of modern Yankee knowledge.

Anonymous said...

Wow dude, you should really switch to caffeine. Sounds like the green eyed monster has you prety good. Sory your so bitter but Yankees fans are everywhere cause we appreciate success and talent. Lighten up and enjoy the greatness.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the annoying boston fans all over the country. If you're a friggin boston fan, well get out of my town and go back to boston already.

Anonymous said...

in beantown we have the pink hat syndrome, anyone wearing a pink hat should immediately kill themselves, do not pass go, do not collect $200......also WTF with the ticket brokers, legalized mafioso with the tickets, either you got to blow someone in corporate america to get a ticket or skip a mortgage payment for the family to watch a shitty interleague game.

Anonymous said...

I believe that would be Roberto Kelly, who was traded to the Reds in a deal that (most prominently) included Paul O'Neill, between the 1992 and 1993 seasons.

Anonymous said...

So let me get this one straight. Unless you're from the immediate metro area of a given team then you're SOL. What if you move? What if your parents moved? All this type of crap does is encourage idiots like Arte Moreno to encompass larger areas into the team name. Get ready for the North America Devil Rays and the Northern Hemisphere Diamondbacks.

Anonymous said...

By the way, there was some article in USA Today this morning about how America is now a "Red Sox Nation". So in theory we should be complaining about fans that have migrated from a much smaller urban area.

Anonymous said...

Should have seen Austin, Texas after the BlowSox won. Every other hillbilly down here was sporting the B cap. Predictably, that has cooled off along with the Sox chances of winning another title any time soon. 99% of those jackholes couldn't even point out Boston on a map. I'm willing to bet about 50% of their fanbase can't do that.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the Pre-Jeter days of the great Andy Stenkeiwicz. Most misspelled Yankee name before Mientkewicz came along. (No need to point out the fact that I definitely spelled those names wrong, I'm too lazy to consult baseball reference)

Anonymous said...

As a yankee fan growing up in New York I certainely have no great love for the bandwagoners, but I hate Mets fans much more who root harder against the Yankees than for the Mets. I mean one could be a little less bitter or at least pretend to care about the Mets as much.

Anonymous said...

Way to go DDay...

I have been a Yankee fan since I can remember..and yes, I too hate the bandwagon Yankee fans..

And by the way, the one that made a remark about the Yankee nation....did you really say..."yuk"? What the fuck is yuk? Man up dude...First of all...when have you heard Yankee nation..that is such a boston thing...NO TRUE Yankee fan considers themselves part of "The Yankee Nation" We are...FUCKING YANKEE FANS!!!!...."yuk"..what the fuck is YUK?

Anonymous said...

All that's going on in the world and this is what makes you angry?
Who cares what team is on Tom Brady's baseball cap????!!!!
Get a life, dude!

Anonymous said...

Wrong, Notre Dame fans who didn't go to Notre Dame is the worst.

saltySamurai said...

I live in GA. and seeing boston hats down here makes me puke into my mouth. atlanta is full of transients so i understand the lack of heart in braves fans (not selling out playoff series games), but the half-ass tie to boston give these douchebag bandwagoners an excuse to wear a redsox hat? I'm a yankee fan....i grew up 40 miles from yankee stadium. and i actually feel bad for true redsox fans with all these bandwagoners on board. true sox fans suffered their entire lives until 2004. these fags in georgia had the braves in the playoffs the ENTIRE 90's and didn't go to games, yet they have the balls to declare themselves 'fans.' and BTW, the redsox are the 2nd highest payroll in baseball and they hate the yankees for buying their teams. hi pot, my name is kettle. go fuck yourselves, sox fans.

salytSamurai said...

oh, and another thing, like all true yankee fans, when i think of the #23 in sports, i don't think of michael jordan. i think of Don motherfuckin' Mattingly. i only hope he remains a coach long enough to get himself a ring.

orrigan said...

Easiest way to spot a true Yankee Fan.....who the fuck cares!!

Chadwick said...

Want to hear a true fan? GO SAINTS! Been cheering for 22 years, through thick and thin. Gotta support YOUR team!

Anonymous said...

only an asshole yankee fan can write that #23 doesn't belong to michael jordan. Nobody gives a shit about don mattingly.
i think red sox fans are assholes too!!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hey Salty D, get you heasd out of your ass. You shouldn't even be posting, you head is so far up there. Just because a fan doesn't live in the "immediate area" of the team they root for, it doesn't make them any less of a fan. You're probably the loud mouthed asshole that tells all the "Yankees fans to go back to New York". I will give you credit though, you sound like a true Red Sox asshole. BY THE WAY, THERE WAS NO CURSE, THEY JUST SUCKED FOR 86 YEARS.

Anonymous said...

The NFL equivalent to Non-New Yorker Yankee fan, is Not-from-Western Pennsylvania-Steeler Fan. I can't stand them.


Anonymous said...

I love how the real Yankee fans seem to agree with the post while the wagoneers don't. I live in Buffalo and used to date a fake Red Sox fan and I don't get why so many people here root for the Yankees. The Pirates, the Blue Jays and Indians are all with in three hours in any direction but everyone here loves the Yankees. Makes me want to puke.

By the way the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California have the third highest pay roll. What's your point?

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is insane. Long time reader, first time commenter. I love the rant, screw you Mets-fan hating dude (shouldn't you have better things to do than hate on some random franchise that your fans have picked on for years? ), and please stop typing in caps Guatemala guy.

syracuseNY said...

I and my family have been yankee fans since the early 1900's. My grandparents used to listen to them on the radio, before TV. Yankee fans are everywhere, not just NYC. However, I do have three nephews that go to the Yankee games in NYC every chance they get. But they live near there. Do you think Roger Cleamons and Johnny Damon are yankee fans? My guess is Yes - until the get a better deal from another team. Generally, fans stay fans of their team. Players don't. They go where the money is - screw the fans (Damon). If my neighbor grew up and played to Arazona, i would like them too, but stillbe a true Yankee Fan. Why not? I like the Giants but have been a Steelers fan since I was 10 years old...but your telling me I can't be a Steelers fan because I don't live in Pittsburg?

Anonymous said...

I agree there are to many band wagon fans (for many teams in different sports) and they annoy me too, but to say if you don't live in the metropolitan area around a city with a sports team you are no longer allowed to be a fan of a team. That is single handedly the stupidest thing I have ever read.

Anonymous said...

Any Steelers fans in Cleveland who were not born in Pittsburgh, never lived in Pittsburgh and have never even been to Pittsburgh should be shot in the face. I hope you all die in a car fire. Go Browns!!

Anonymous said...

Suck ass, I can like any team I want regardless if I'm from there or not. When in America, Remember?

Anonymous said...

You are a moron. Tom Brady is the man no matter what cap he wears in his spare time.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more. I grew up in CA but have lived in manahattan for the last 5 years. every august, every idiot around here becomes a yankee fan.

Anonymous said...

The funny part of this entire thing is that some of you are defending the right of random scrubs to walk around talking like they're fans of your team. I'd rather everyone who says they're a fan of my team prove it before I respect them as a brother. The brotherhood of a fanbase is something forged by the fire of battle (the playoffs or playoff races), suffering, or some other third thing, not by paying some guy at lids 30 bucks plus tax to buy my fitted cap. And once it's formed, the person sticks around for the suffering and the losses, or I don't care to acknowledge them.
The immediate assumption (though not 100% true) is that someone from your city will be more likely to have shared those things, and less likely to have purchased the hat because your team won the WS. And before anyone tells me that they started loving their team because of a WS and there's nothing wrong with that: there is something wrong with that. Every fan who has ever truly suffered for their team resents you when you do that, unless you're under the age of 12. I like to call this the glove rule; if you're too old to wear a glove to the game without looking like a tool, then you're too old to start liking a team from a WS victory or appearance.

Anonymous said...

you're pretty jammed up dude - brady almost played pro baseball, he's a baseball fan, not a yankees fan - you should appreciate that if you're any kind of fan - like you said, he's form who gives a crap!

Anonymous said...

from da boy vince

Mets fans are the exact same way as yanks fans.i live in philly where the phils and mets are fighting for first and my brother and all of his(4 gay)friends like the mets.Cowboys fans are,as Howard Eskin says"cockaroaches"

dirty,tiny,black,nasty cockaroaches

Anonymous said...

I don't know about who can be a fan of what team. I just know that the picture that comes up when you click on "Dwyermaker" is the funniest damn thing I've seen in a while.

Intercontinental said...

Although I think you blast Brady to harsh - he now lives in New York during the offseason - I agree with you on all the band wagoners.

New York Yankees are like the Dallas Cowboys as the only team most people ever hear regarding one sport. Cowboys dominate, Yankees dominate.

Living overseas - I see a shit load of people wearing Yankees caps.

But whenever I ask ANY of them about the Yankees, where to watch a game, the chances of winning the pennant - they all have a look of shock.

Most people wear the NY hat because to them it means New York City not the Yankees. The people don't know the Yankees and then comment they don't even like American baseball.

Football (or rather soccer for us Americans) is the world sport they always say....

Anyway considering not many people who wear the hats never lived in NY and/or have never have been to NY, at least they have the hat.

How else could the Yanks afford Clemens to come back and pitch so well...

Yanks Band Wagon Driver said...

Derek Jeter was a Yankees fan living in the mid-west.

His family is from Jersey - that is how he learned about the Yanks through his cousins while visiting in summer.

Good thing he wasn't a Twins fan - eh?

Anonymous said...

If I can't be a Yankee fan since I am not from the area, then you can't post about teams from outside of your area. Which means all teams outside of your shitter are off limits.

Anonymous said...

What about the Jets and Giants who claim to be from New York, yet both play in New Jersey?!

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