The Congressional Softball League is a strange beast. The league itself springs to life in the summertime on the National Mall and is made up of people from Congressional offices, lobbying and consulting firms, non-profit organizations, and local businesses. It's well known for drawing psychotic staffers with a competetive edge, zombified IRS employees looking for a break, and even a few Congressmen from time to time.
People take it pretty seriously, I should know, since I was once a mercenary ringer for a Senate office team. The winner has DC bragging rights for a year. So that's why I'm especially glad this year The One Hitters (great name), a softball team sponsored by Students for Sensible Drug Policy and the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, took over the #1 ranking in the league on August 1st.
It's not every day that stoners excel at sports and stick it to jackass politicians in the process. Believe it or not, two years ago The One Hitters made news when the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy refused to play a game against them because of ideological reasons. I'm not sure why, since Bush did a lot drugs when he was younger.
Even better, the team is still talking shit to the Drug Czar.
“Everyone knows that ONDCP backed out because they were scared of losing to us on the field, much the same way they are afraid to debate us because their policies fail in the court of public opinion,” said center fielder David Guard. “We have an open challenge to the Drug Czar to play or debate anytime, anywhere.”
You tell 'em David. The Drug Czar is a huge pussy. And if The One Hitters need an extra bat I'm totally available. The team currently sports a 13-3 record, and I'll gladly be cheering them on. Right after I finish this bowl.