When you stop and think about it, shoe commercials are pretty decent these days. But that's mostly because the major shoe companies these days - Nike, Reebok and Converse - are all willing to shell out major cash to make the ads good. Well, there was once a time when there were more shoe companies than we have today. And the only way they could compete with the big guns was to make ridiculously stupid commercials. Yes, I'm talking about British Knights, LA Gear, and of course Keds. So let's take a look back at some memorably awful shoe ads from back in the day.
British Knights. Man, talk about classic. Remember how they had the "diamonds that bounce"? Uh, me neither. Anyway, here's what Urban Dictionary has to say about BKs: "BK's were not for the faint hearted - they sported massive decals, plastic add-ons and had tongues bigger than oven mitts. They were particularly popular with [basketballer]s, crip [gangbangers] and [homeboys]." I never do my cripin' without my BKs.
This is also for BKs, and it's a holiday commercial. It has a rapping knight, because nothing says Christmas like a rapping knight.
Now we're on to LA Gear. Man these shoes were horrible. I'm pretty sure the brainstorming session for this ad was - let's make a commercial that will seem hideously dated in about 4 months time. Mission accomplished LA Gear.
And if one LA Gear ad wasn't bad enough, here's former Laker girl Paula Abdul hawking them as well. (Shudder) You know Michael Jackson also did an LA Gear ad.
And last but not least, here's a commercial that should thoroughly warp your already beaten down mind. It's a 1950s Keds ad where a clown convinces kids that they'll run faster and win more if they wear Keds. Remember kids, you're a commie pinko if you don't wear Keds.