Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Nick Saban one ups Kellen Winslow Jr.

Some individuals are born to lead men into combat. Like Dwight Eisenhower, Stormin Norman Shwartzkopf, and of course Kellen Winslow Jr. Remember, he's a soldier.

Now you can add General Nick Saban to that illustrious list. Tell the boys what they're fighting for and where that loss to UL-Monroe ranks in world history.
"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event," Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference on Monday. "It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event."
Ok, so let's get this straight. The three most catastrophic attacks on American soil have been:

1. 9/11
2. Pearl Harbor
3. UL-Monroe beating Alabama

Well, we needed something to fill the #3 spot, and lord knows the War of 1812 wasn't going to cut it. Although judging by the way Saban used "kind of" and "or whatever" to describe Pearl Harbor, perhaps we can move UL-Monroe beating Alabama up to #2.

I've never been more excited to see Alabama lose again. If they lose to Auburn this Saturday, maybe Saban can bring in some intergalactic struggle for his next press conference. The moon of Endor is counting on you General Saban.



Anonymous said...

Just leave it to a college coach to keep things in perspective.

Jarrett said...

The Civil War wasn't gully enough for him either.

Anonymous said...

This must be the "DA" evaluation of what Saban said; there is no point in actually listening to what he said, after all. I mean, anyone with the brainpower of a syphillis-rotted hampster would know that he was using "analogies" (a very big word, I know, I know...) to say that change for the better often doesn't happen until something dramatic occurs.

In other words, if losing to ULM wasn't "hitting rock bottom enough" for this team to be inspired to play better, then he wouldn't know what is.

Oh, wait, does this violate the company line of Saban-bashing? well then: boo Saban, hiss Saban, saban makes kittens cry, Saban kick puppies, Saban shot lincoln, etc.....

Anonymous said...

The point isn't that there was some sort of logical connection in the analogy. The point is that Saban, along with a lot of other egomaniacal, hypercompetitive, living-in-their-own-world coaches, players, media members, etc., full of hubris and a very unhealthy level of self-importance try to draw connections to actual events and people who have dealt with real and serious consequences. E.g. burning to death or being crushed while they were just trying to get to work early, and/or drowning in a dark, sinking warship without any warning. The comparisons between sports, at whatever supposedly high and important level, and any events that resulted in life and death consequences for human beings needs to STOP. I'll keep on bashing Saban, Winslow, Jr., or whoever else continues to employ these "analogies," thank you very much. These people seriously need to get some perspective.

Anonymous said...

ESPN does the exact same thing. Seriously, the Saints winning makes Katrina all better? And VT having a good season brings back murdered students?

But they get a pass when they do it....

Anonymous said...

NEW SPORTS TERM: "Pulling a Saban" = coach gives up on a failing Pro team, and goes back to coaching college where it is easier to have a winning record. (+/- lies/denials of being a coward/giving up).

(Originated by: Nick Saban who gives up on the Miami Dolphins and runs for cover to coach the Alabama Crimson Tide).

Anonymous said...

Like none of you would take a job for 4 million a year. You'd jump on that offer like a hoe on a dick.

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