Monday, November 19, 2007

What we learned from Sunday's NFL action

I just want to say that watching the Patriots blow out opponents is like watching a train wreck. After a certain point, there's really no point in watching anymore, but you can't look away.

Anyway, on to what we learned.

1. Unless Tom Brady suffers an injury of some kind, there's no way New England doesn't go undefeated and win the Super Bowl. The loss of Freeney killed the Colts' chances, the Steelers just lost to the Jets so I can't take them seriously, and the Pats already crushed the Cowboys. And I laugh at you if you even suggest that Green Bay has a chance against the Pats. Let's also remember that the Bills aren't exactly terrible. They had won 4 straight coming into Sunday's game. And the Pats drop 56 on them. Of course the Bills played without our Bay Area friend Marshawn "Applebee's" Lynch. Had he played, I think the Bills would have won. And by "won" I mean "lost 49-13."

2. Las Vegas may just kill the Patriots. If I'm correct, this team is 10-0 against the spread and Vegas is starting to freak out. Which means we'll see one of two things happen in the coming weeks. Either 20+ point spreads on Pats games, or a Tonya Harding attack on Brady's knees by La Cosa Nostra. By the way, what do you think the spread will be for the Pats/Jets rematch? 30? 35? 100? Can't wait to read Simmons' self-righteous piece of crap column that week. And by "read" I mean "take a dump on."

3. Bay Area football is horrible. Every week we're forced to watch the Raiders and 49ers play while games we'd actually want to watch like Cowboys/Redskins are going on that we can't watch. Both our teams are now 2-8, and this week the 49ers lost to the Rams while the Raiders lost to a Purple Jesus-less Vikings. San Fran and the Raiders are now battling to see which team is the second worst in football to the Dolphins. Sweet.

4. The Packers are the Kansas of pro football. I've been hard on the Packers, and have constantly said they'll collapse at some point. Well, that hasn't happened. But the question is why hasn't that happened? In truth, I think it's because the NFC isn't that good and the Packers are a good team. But we don't really know how good. Sort of like how we don't really know how good Kansas is right now. Because let's be honest, who exactly has Green Bay played? Technically, Green Bay has only beaten one team with a winning record at this point in the season - and that's the Giants. Well, they get the Lions and the Cowboys the next two weeks. That should tell us what we need to know about the Packers.

5. We could see an 8-win team win a division. I don't think this will happen, but it could. And that's kind of scary. The AFC West is horrible. When was the last time you could remember a 4-5 team playing a Monday Night game that if they won it they'd be tied for the division lead? Well, Denver has that chance tonight. Meanwhile the NFC West is also pretty bad. Seattle leads it with a 6-4 record, but who knows when Shaun "Professional Wuss" Alexander will be back. I don't even care, Alexander's so awful now, they're probably better without him.

6. Seems like Mario Williams is winning the best draft pick of 2006 contest right now. He had a great game against the once again putrid Saints, getting a sack and forcing a fumble while also making 6 tackles and continually applying pressure to Brees. Meanwhile Reggie Bush was horrendous, losing two fumbles, including one at the goal line. Also, Vince Young has kind of come back to earth, or maybe it's just that people finally realized he can't throw worth a damn. His back-to-back seasons of having a mid 60s passer rating may have something to do with that. Yes, that means he's a worse passer than Joey Harrington.

7. If there's any team you should be rooting for this year, it's the Cleveland Browns. I love watching this team play. They're hungry, they play hard, they have an exciting offense, and best of all, Derek Anderson is making Brady Quinn obsolete. Hell, I'll even say this right here and now. Derek Anderson will be a better QB than Quinn when both their careers are over. Plus Cleveland won the ultimate F-you game against the Ravens on Sunday. Nothing like having the Ravens think they've won a game, have them go into the locker room, then drag them back out again to lose in OT. That was awesome. And by the way, why did Billick kick to Cribbs at the end of the game and in OT? That may have been the stupidest coaching decision this season that didn't involve Mike Holmgren.

8. Miami's awesome march to 0-16 continues. Nice work in knocking out McNabb and giving yourself a chance to get a win. Not so nice job in letting A.J. Feeley beat you. At least Miami finally let Ted Ginn Jr. run a punt back for a TD without blocking someone in the back. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

9. The combined age of QBs in the Packers/Panthers game was 82. The combined age of QBs in the Steelers/Jets game was 49.

10. Indy looks like they're in a lot of trouble. Adam Vinatieri is starting to miss field goals he never misses, Peyton is struggling more and more without Marvin Harrison, and we all know the loss of Freeney is eventually going to hurt them. This team, even though it's 8-2, is starting to look a bit like it's on the ropes. They were pretty lucky to get by the Chiefs on Sunday. And something tells me that even when Harrison comes back, he's not going to solve all their problems.

11. Indy should be on the lookout for the Jaguars. With Garrard back, this team suddenly looks like a real force again. They can catch Indy, and they play them in two weeks. It's also worth mentioning how valuable Garrard is to this team. He's an incredibly intelligent QB who is mobile and makes excellent decisions. He still hasn't thrown a pick yet this year. As I said, with Indy reeling, the Jags might be able to grab ahold of the division in two weeks.

12. Carson Palmer's favorite new receiver is Antrel Rolle.

13. The Steelers continue to frustrate me. I thought they were the one team left that might be able to knock off the Pats. No longer. This team can look so good some weeks and so bad some other weeks. Their three loses are to the Jets, the Cards and the Broncos. Ugh. There's no way they beat the Pats.


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