This is Carlos Tevez. He was involved in a rather dodgy transfer this past year in which he was transferred to West Ham of the Premier League to help them avoid relegation. And as you can see, he is generally regarded as the ugliest player in soccer. Huge neck scars, crooked teeth and a unibrow will do that to you. Deuce of Davenport has always said he looks like the Incredible Hulk, and I agree.
But anyway, for a period of time he was going out with this lovely Argentinean model, Natalia Fassi.
They broke up for reasons we'll get to later, but she apparently really wants him back.
Now I know what you're thinking. She just wants the money or to be seen with a soccer player again. I mean, that has to be the reason? Or maybe she's legally blind.
Turns out we were all wrong. Apparently Tevez is, uh, pretty good in the sack. He better be with a mug like that. Here's what Fassi said drove her to Tevez in the News of the World:
"Every time we made love it was so passionate we would forget what planet we were on."
Ok. But what about the fact that he looks like Frankenstein?
"He is no David Beckham. If you compared the two I definitely would take Beckham any time. But it was a relationship of love. I liked the way he looked at me."
Yes, I'm sure that's true. This must have been the look she loved (also known as Tevez's "Oh" face):
I mean seriously ladies, what's not to like about that? That crooked tooth is sexy.
The couple was known as Beauty and the Beast in Argentina during their six-month affair and they ultimately broke up because Tevez got his actual wife pregnant (this guy has a wife?!). So anyway, I think there's an important lesson here. And that lesson is if you're an ugly famous soccer player, you can still get tons of hot women. Or something like that.