As a Giants fan, and an illegal substances fan, I was naturally excited to learn that HBO is planning on making a Barry Bonds movie. Here's the recent press release:HBO Films is developing a movie about embattled baseball player Barry Bonds and has tapped director Ron Shelton (Bull Durham, Tin Cup, White Men Can't Jump) to helm and pen the script with his Tin Cup writing partner John Norville, once the writers' strike is over.
The movie will be based on Game of Shadows, but will be focused specifically on Bonds - or at least it better be. Of course, now the question is who will play the role of the most infamous steroid user in history? That's a question I will attempt to answer here by looking at the pros and cons of a number of actors.
1. Denzel Washington
Pro: Great actor.
Con: Must gain about 125 lbs.
Pro: Great actor.Con: Must gain about 125 lbs.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger
Pro: Has great experience with steroid use.
Con: Not black.
3. Forest Whitaker
Pro: Has a history of playing psychotic prima donnas.
Con: Fat.
4. The dude from the Bronx is Burning
Pro: Has played a controversial, introverted baseball superstar.
Con: I have no clue who he is.
5. Vin Diesel
Pro: Is bald and ripped.
Con: May be indicted for steroid use during filming.
6. Mike Tyson
Pro: Has same voice as Bonds.
Con: Not an actor, also might eat children.
7. Barry Bonds
Pro: Remarkable physical similarities.
Cons: Major jackass, would probaby want multi-year contract.
If they can somehow get Morgan Freeman to play Dusty Baker and William H. Macy to play Selig, I'll definitely watch it.
Pro: Has great experience with steroid use.Con: Not black.
3. Forest Whitaker
Pro: Has a history of playing psychotic prima donnas.Con: Fat.
4. The dude from the Bronx is Burning
Pro: Has played a controversial, introverted baseball superstar.Con: I have no clue who he is.
5. Vin Diesel
Pro: Is bald and ripped.Con: May be indicted for steroid use during filming.
6. Mike Tyson
Pro: Has same voice as Bonds.Con: Not an actor, also might eat children.
7. Barry Bonds
Pro: Remarkable physical similarities.Cons: Major jackass, would probaby want multi-year contract.
If they can somehow get Morgan Freeman to play Dusty Baker and William H. Macy to play Selig, I'll definitely watch it.
-WCK
12 comments:
I think Ving Rhames might pull it off. He's mad old, but looks just as roided' up.
Maybe the cat from "Diary of a Mad Black Woman."
Chris Rock as the Pittsburg Pirate Barry Bonds....Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson as the SF Giant Barry Bonds.
The guy from Bronx is Burning is Daniel Sunjata, one of the stars of Rescue Me.
Webster for the early years and Michael Clarke Duncan for later years.
How can you leave out Wesley Snipes? He already played Bonds in "The Fan." Plus, the man needs work. Maybe Sly could come back to play Jeff Kent and/or Mark McGwire - recapture the "Demolition Man" Supercombo...
How about Venus Williams playing Bonds. Or Serena. I can never remember which one looks like she's wearing shoulder pads.
I got it!
TOMMY 'TINY' LISTER from "Friday" aka Deebo!
Perfect!
-Nick
Smarter Sports Blog
Some nice possibilites...
for a full cast, check out http://www.bugsandcranks.com/the-clubhouse/asterisks-are-forever-a-barry-bonds-movie/
How 'bout Tiny Lister AKA Zeus from No Holds Barred?
I'm tired of these mother f#ck*ng needles in my mother f#ck*ng $ss
what about that one guy from "white chicks" and "everybody hates chris"?
yeah, i was thinking about that huge black dude from white chicks and one of the scary movies too. I was watching Training Day and saw him in it. He didn't say anything, he just stood there and got in people's way cuz he's fucking HUGE! Shit actor though.
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