Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Finals predictions of a different sort

With the NBA Finals about to start, the typical thing to do is make a prediction. Spurs in 6, Cavs in 7. Whatever.

Although we've done the same thing in the past, and actually did pretty well on at least one occasion, we decided to make our predictions a bit different this time. A bit off the beaten path. Who'll flop the most? Who'll complain the most? Junk like that.

These are the things, more than who wins the damn championship, that keep us watching. So with that, let's start the analysis.

Which player will flop the most?
This will be an excellent battle. We have two of the finest floppers in League playing in the Finals. Both Varejao and Ginobli are masters of the great craft that Vlade Divac turned into an art form some years ago. Even better, it's a trend now sweeping the nation. But back to the matchup. Varejao managed to get Antonio McDyess ejected in that crucial Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals and was probably the main reason Rasheed Wallace eventually exploded. But Manu is even better. He should have won an Oscar for flopping during a hip check from Derek Fisher that resulted in a T during Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals. Ginobli also managed to get St. Fisher ejected from that game later on. To single-handedly get Derek Fisher ejected from a game takes something special. You have to bury all your masculine pride and flop like a nerd about to get smacked, and Ginobli succeeds beautifully at that. Prediction: Ginobli

Who'll turn out to have a nickname worse than Daniel "Boobie" Gibson?
Hopefully no one. But you never know. We might find out that Tim Duncan was known as the "Rear Admiral" during all those years he played behind, I mean next to, David Robinson. Prediction: No one


How many times will we hear the announcers say "The Cavs were 2-0 against the Spurs in the regular season" even while the Spurs ploddingly dominate the series:
Ah yes, the favorite tactic of announcers as a series slips away. Bring out stats that don't really apply to the current situation and don't make much sense. Like, "Well Jim, they were undefeated in games following 50-point loses in the first half of the regular season." I believe this inane banter is enforced under penalty of death by Dictator Stern. Prediction: You'll hear this the whole series, even if the Cavs are down 0-3

Who'll have the most awkward victory party?
This is a real difficult one. Tony Parker sounds bad in French and I don't even speak French. Plus, French is about the least tough language in the world. So if he does this, then the Spurs will easily win. Or will they? LeBron has been known to get tooled in dance contests and dance like an idiot. I'm torn. At least no one will be this bad, we hope. Prediction: Toss-up

How bored will we all be with the series?
Well, I wouldn't skip out on the series to watch hockey, I'll tell you that. But that's not saying much. At least LeBron's in the Finals. And if he does this again, I'll certainly watch more games. But I have a feeling that after the first couple of games, thanks to Tim Duncan's grueling efficiency, I'll be comatose regardless of what LeBron does. Or watching SF Giants games, which is about equivalent to being comatose. Prediction: Likely to miss at least one game

Who will be upset if Robert Horry wins his 7th ring?
Everyone who is a living, breathing human being.

How many times will Eva Longoria be interviewed?
God, hopefully not many. I have a feeling she won't be interviewed quite as many times as she changes her wedding plans. But that regrettably means we will still see an awful lot of her. This could be counter-balanced with shots of Tony Parker wondering to himself why on earth he's marrying her. Prediction: 3 times.

Who will casual fans be drawn to?
Obviously casual fans will be fed a steady diet of LeBron. But you know Stern will force the announcers to push hard for Duncan as well. But after his 87th hook shot off the glass, I don't think anyone will give a shit how good he is anymore. Prediction: LeBron and Drew Gooden's hairstyle

Who'll find a way to comically kill his own team?
You mean aside from Larry Hughes, right? My guess is one of the coaches, which means I don't think I even have to answer this one. We all know Popovich is a great coach and ugly as sin. And we all know Mike Brown is an absolute idiot when it comes to clock management. He's the Andy Reid of basketball. He nearly lost Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals for the Cavs because of his bizarre timeout calls. I'm not even sure why he's a coach, and I'm not even trying to be funny. He's terrible. Prediction: Mike Brown

How many times will Bowen foul LeBron?
There is no simple answer to this question. But if we use the Spurs/Suns series as a reference, judging by how often Bowen fouled Nash, LeBron's in for, uh, a lot of fouls. LeBron might get a few more calls than Nash, because he's the Chosen One, but still. Bowen is like a bad case of herpes. He never really goes away. Let's just hope he doesn't do this to LeBron. Prediction: Infinite

How many times will Kobe interrupt the Finals demanding something?
Some people may think that Kobe will keep his mouth shut now that the Finals are going on. I doubt it. You've gotta believe that him seeing LeBron in the Finals is making him feel like a has-been. He'll probably demand a trade to the Raptors or commit a DUI with Jerry Buss just to steal the limelight for an evening. Or admit that he too likes "she-males." Prediction: At least once

Who'll complain the most?
This isn't a prediction, it's a fact. The Spurs.

And as for who'll win the whole thing, I'll let this guy answer that question. And just because we can here's a clip of David Robinson gettin' schooled.

-WCK

4 comments:

梁爵 said...

2019.12.18台北八大行業知名酒店經紀獨家分析:每當看到酒店工作酒店小姐被「框」出場性侵的新聞,就覺得很無奈,一方面是為了有酒店上班姊妹遇到這樣的事情很難過,一方面是被新聞誇張不實報導,引起社會的恐慌甚至各大留言板的對話更讓人翻白眼。某些人,對大學生/上班族酒店上班的新人對於「框」有很大的誤解。八大行業資深經紀人專業酒店打工解釋裡說的「框」,是指直接包下小姐特定的時間。其實最單純來說,功能有兩種:把小姐找過來或留下來、帶小姐出店家。有時候到店家找自己認識的小姐,但酒店小姐目前在手工(打手槍) 、口爆(口交)服務其他客人,想要把該名小姐找過來,如果用點的,遇到對方喊加點,就只能喊框了;或是有其他客人想點走正在服務自己的小姐,加點後對方又喊框,如果這時前桌喊框,效力是優於後桌的。看起來很複雜,但簡言之,就是把小姐留在自己身邊的一種方法。而「框出」的定義和內涵,就值得深入討論了。歡迎想要高收入賺現金酒店兼差的大學生/上班族,可上網求證對八大行業酒店兼職得相關資訊做核對比對甚至多比較,才能賺錢賺得安心,同時也要保護自己。

梁爵 said...

2020.05.22酒店小姐的基本介紹跟工作內容八大行業的薪資袋破洞--公關、陪侍乃至於性工作者通常不是酒店、舞廳、包廂KTV或養生館的直屬員工,他們我在酒店上班的日子在經紀人的帶領下,前往與經紀公司合作的地點酒店打工上班,比起雇傭更貼近承攬,沒店可以上工時就直接放無薪假,在政府勞動統計上他們等於是失業人口,申請失業救濟金是天方夜譚。酒店並無底薪保障,公關酒店小姐一定有S?要客人點選坐檯才有薪水,而且店家會在發薪時扣除稅金,卻不會幫忙投保勞健保。 八大行業是哪八種行業呢?依照業績高低,酒店職場須知 【酒店PT 】從公關的薪資中扣除400元到1,000元不等的營業稅,檯費也不是公關全部收進口袋裡,必須與酒店和趴客幹部、經紀人分潤,以350元的節薪而言,常見的配比是酒店與趴客幹部150元、小姐150元、經紀人50元,這個配比會依照小姐的外在條件、與經紀人和經紀公司的協議、是否有債務和借貸關係而有調整。錢的問題一向複雜,八大行業金流不患寡而患不均,事情每經過一個人的手,就必須給人抽成,如何打點每個關卡是極為細膩的功夫。客人的帳單上看不到公關們被扣款的部分,也看不到勞動權益被忽略的細節,更不要提酒店內物價奇幻,小姐們別在身上的名牌,一個要收500到1,000元的製作費,在公司休息室租用儲物櫃,也是以每星期千元為計價單位,小姐向公司團購質料粗劣的應景服飾,價格是網拍的十倍,並且每個星期收送洗費上千元,化妝、髮型與服裝不符合規定一項扣500元以上,店家也有各自的內規,例如遲到一分鐘扣50元,開會不到扣3,000元,遲到兩小時就要自己大框自己,也就是買下一整天60節的上班時間,立刻失血21,000要在這些條條框框後賺到錢,沒兩把刷子真難,八大也分三六九等,一張酒店收據不代表整個產業的全貌。「還是有賣笑賣身發大財的啊!要不然怎麼會有『笑貧不笑娼』這樣的俗語?工作是自己選的,兩腿開開還賺不到錢,一定是太笨了,要不然就是長得很抱歉。」

梁爵 said...

2020.05.26酒店小姐的基本介紹跟工作內容領檯: 在餐廳從事接待顧客工作,一般通稱領檯之工作人員,所負責的工作不外乎就是
1.我在酒店上班的日子在餐廳門口迎接顧客,並引導入座
2. 酒店打工在門口歡送顧客酒店領檯通常的條件一定要比制服酒店公關漂亮,跟酒店公關一樣要坐檯才會有漂亮的收入! 通常客人沒有選到喜歡的酒店公關時,就會考慮點領檯來坐檯。所謂「特種行業」,係指酒店上班-酒店兼職-兼差如何達成人生的第一桶金「視聽歌唱業」、「理髮業」、「三溫暖業」、「舞廳業」、「舞場業」、「酒家業」、「酒吧業」及「特種咖啡茶室業」等八種行業,因其略分為八大類,故俗稱「八大行業」,以上酒店兼差不是一個複雜的工作環境?八種行業目前回歸由商業登記主管機關管理,其營業範圍職場須知 【酒店PT 】: 1、視聽歌唱業:指提供伴唱視聽設備,供人歌唱之營利事業。夢想在面前,卻少了一筆錢?人生夢想清單想出國、想買房,卻做不到?我們提供妳一個簡單的工作,只要有心,妳也能月入六位數。想脫貧?這次好機會別錯過。薪資超透明 月入10萬不是夢。酒店小姐一定有S嗎?老司機專業勸世文被贊爆八大行業指依「臺北市舞廳舞場酒家酒吧及特種咖啡茶室管理自治條例」管理之舞廳業、舞場業、酒家業、酒吧業、特種咖啡茶室業、視聽歌唱業、理容業及三溫暖業。

梁爵 said...

2020.07.27不敢來酒店上班-酒店打工的原因酒店上班安全最重要
酒店經紀梁小尊又要開講啦!酒店小姐的基本介紹跟工作內容許多來找我梁曉尊面試應徵工作的求職者,我在酒店上班的日子在詢問工作相關資訊時,常遺漏了最重要的事情,就是在酒店上班有那些是必須要注意的地方。酒店兼差不是一個複雜的工作環境?相信有許多人在網路或報紙上求職時,常看到很多廣告內容都強調薪水有多少,酒店小姐上班通常會取什麼名字?卻忘了告訴想到酒店工作的各位,酒店這個環境有那些是要注意的,這裡我酒店經紀梁曉尊就提供一些相關安全資訊給大家。
酒店經紀教妳選擇酒店小姐去酒店上班都一定要出場接s嗎?酒店工作內容與環境
就梁小尊長期觀察酒店這個環境,只要酒店內部裝潢明亮看起來乾淨整潔,這樣的酒店工作內容幾乎都是十分單純,穿著小禮服或是便服的方式坐檯,工作內容都是陪客人喝酒、唱歌、聊天以及做些桌面服務(整理桌面,保持清潔)這一方面的基本互動。很多玩的比較瘋的酒店內部裝潢普遍昏暗、陳舊及髒亂且常會飄有異味。如果您希望的工作內容相較單純些的話,可依照上述的方式做一個初步判斷。
酒店經紀梁曉尊教妳出場如何自保
在我們這裡工作的公關面對出場問題有絕對選擇權。但單純出場陪客人去續攤或是約個小會是在所難免的,畢竟在酒店上班是要營造出與客人有如戀愛的感覺。當然公關都要先觀察客人在包廂與自已的互動,以及觀察客人酒後的行為,做為是否要跟客人出場的判斷。當然客人在詢問公關要不要出場的時候,公關必須詢問客人出場要去的地點,以及有無其他同行友人,最後要再與幹部回報與確認,如此才能大幅降低出場的危險。但難免有些客人說要出場的地點跟實際去的地點不同。例如:客人說要去吃消夜結果車子開到汽車旅館或是住家(私人場所),如果遇到這種狀況,在客人把車停靠在汽車旅館入口的時候,請直接當櫃檯小姐的面前先行下車,並直接回報店家行政與幹部,同時店家行政也會立即連絡酒店經紀人回報狀況,其餘的事情都交由公司處理即可。

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