Wednesday, June 13, 2007
It should be a busy Father's Day for these guys
With Father's Day just around the corner, we thought we'd check in to see who might need the day extended into a week just to see all of his kids.
We know that a lot of pro athletes have illegitimate kids (or will soon have some), so we've decided to simply list the most notable and the most, uh, potent athletes in recent memory. We decided not to include people like LeBron James, who's at least with his girlfriend while having kids. We've also categorized the list, just for fun. By the way, if you think Shawn Kemp is the #1 illegitimate sports father, you sir are wrong. A couple of guys seem to have made it their mission in life to produce more kids than Kemp and Brigham Young combined. Plus we all know how competetive athletes are.
By the way, if you would like to add names of people who we didn't put down, go ahead and put them in the comments section.
ATHLETES WITH ILLEGITIMATE KIDS
Shawn Kemp - 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women. Gives his nickname of the Reign Man new meaning.
Evander Holyfield - 9 illegitimate kids. "Heck I'm not even mad, I'm impressed!"
Ex-San Antonio Spur Willie Anderson - 9 illegitimate kids. If only his field goal percentage had been as high as his impregnation rate.
Derrick Thomas - 7 illegitimate kids by 5 women. He died at 33. Let's just leave it at that.
Ray Charles - Not an athlete, but still had 9 illegitimate kids and 12 total, which is quite impressive. Being blind must have made it tough to get that condom on.
UPDATE: Don't know how we missed this - thanks to a reader for pointing this out to us - Calvin Murphy reportedly had 14 illegitimate kids by 9 women. Wow.
Larry Johnson - 5 kids by 4 women. 3 are illegitimate.
Santonio Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids by two women, before leaving college.
Former Celtic Greg Minor - 3 illegitimate kids.
Ricky Williams - 3 illegitimate kids. Maybe that's why he smokes so much weed.
Priest Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids. You best keep running Priest.
THE LIGHTNING FAST GROUP
Willis McGahee - 3 illegitimate kids in 2 years in Buffalo. Not a lot to do in Buffalo, except make babies. Lots and lots of babies.
THE GUYS YOU WOULDN'T EXPECT GROUP
Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan
NHL player Daniel Alfredsson
NHL player Richard Zednik
THE FAMOUS OLD GUYS GROUP
Steve Garvey - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
Dr. J - 2 illegitimate kids by 2 women.
THE GETTING A HEAD START GROUP
Gary Sheffield - Had 2 illegitimate kids by age 17. Added a few more later on in life.
THE THAT'S JUST WRONG GROUP
Elijah Dukes - recently impregnated a 17-year-old foster child.
THE QB KIDS GROUP
Matt Leinart - already has one, my guess is he's working hard on another.
Tom Brady - his is on the way.
GUYS WITH AT LEAST ONE ILLEGITIMATE KID
Rae Carruth - Yes, he fathered an illegitimate kid before the incident where he had his pregnant girlfriend gunned down.
Oscar De La Hoya
Gary Payton - If the glove doesn't fit...
Randy Johnson - by reader request. We missed him.
So in other words, the moral of the story is wrap it up tight. Unless you're a professional athlete. Then just do whatever the hell you want.