Sign this kid to a contract pronto

I know a bunch of you are ready for today's NFL action. As am I. But I'm always on the lookout for new talent, trying to find tomorrow's stars today. And this kid has it. Sheer raw power and the ability to kill anything in his path. Of course it helps when anything in his path happens to be a much smaller kid with a towel over his head who's standing prone, but I like what this fat kid brings. A sheer disregard for human life. He's like a young Ray Lewis.

-WCK